"1 mother can take care of 10 children but 10 children cannot take care of 1 mother" ?

[Pingju]

"1 mother can take care of 10 children but 10 children cannot take care of 1 mother".
The above line was spoken by one of my teenage friends' mum. What do you think of her line?

Thanks for sharing.

[HandsomeRaj]

Ah a nice and tempting question, thank you for asking, bringing it to my notice to both you and @YourFutureEx :-D Guess you'd asked this while I was on my unscheduled absenteeism ;-)

While what the MH says is absolutely correct, a direct answer to your question is in one word 'Nature' and that's how nature intended it with certain even logical reasons :-D

Nature is a ruthless thing which is why we discovered god, faith, love, why even HUMANITY lol but fact ;-)

The father is meant to provide and is endowed as such while a mother to nurture as ordained by nature.

Parents are the past / passe as per nature like manure and hence they are left behind to nurture the future while the children are now tasked with being the parent & fill in that space to create children now like them - law of nature 'look towards the future' ;-)

These are very natural things - the perception of good or bad is what we've taught ourselves :-)

[YourFutureEx]

Haha... this is the classic line. (One of the most favorite on my mom)
It means a mother sacrifices everything she'd do and does so many compromises for the sake of her children. Even if the number of children are in double digit. She knows how to handle each kid.
But when they grow up they forget every single deed of benevolence. They consider their mother as a weight on their life. Their mother become nothing but a useless old-lady who is not lucrative person for them anymore.

I'm proud that I'm not such person :-)

[YourFutureEx]

favorite of* my

[Pingju]

You passed your Mathematics :)

[YourFutureEx]

Haha thanks :)

[Pedantic]

I will not even be friends with such a person if they treat their mother as a useless old-lady, just on grounds of general character. I'm glad you are not such a person too. :)

[YourFutureEx]

Thank you @Pedantic
I'm the only child of my parents and I will take care of them lifelong.

[Pingju]

@YourFutureEx It is not difficult to tell that you are the only child :)

[YourFutureEx]

*surprised* How did you conclude that :D?

[Pingju]

Because your behaviour is typical of a caring only child according to Pingju's observation :D

[YourFutureEx]

Haha that's why I call you mentor! You got wisdom.

[Pingju]

I like your answer :) It seems that people from different cultures interpret this line differently.

[YourFutureEx]

I politely disagree with the MHO you chose this time. (No jealousy, no remorse)

She just played it emotionally by just putting a picture WHICH DEPICTS A SPECIFIC CATEGORY of people while mine derives the meaning of that.

Anyway, thanks.

[Pingju]

No, I gave her MHO because of the story she shared with me about her mum. That little story is touching :)

[findingdreamland]

In real life, such cases exist and it is heart breaking. Motherhood is something different. No calculations, just giving. I believe assumptions are not useful though. I know some women don't take care of their children too.
Being a real mother is different. I believe being a good mother lies a decent human being. A decent human doesn't hurt anymore, regardless of being a mother or child.

[Pingju]

Thanks, especially for your last 2 sentences :)

[findingdreamland]

Thank you :) And of course :)

[lumos]

Not true. I've seen many pictures of kids (especially in poor countries) who are taking care of their mothers. This picture really hit home with me.
www.diazmag.com/.../photos-poignantes-23.jpg

[Pingju]

My friend's mother meant that 10 grown-up children cannot take care of 1 elderly mother.
She's not talking of children that haven't grown up. Haha :)

[lumos]

Well... still. I think it's a pretty stupid generalization. Lots of grown up children do their best to take care of their elderly parents. Take my mom, for instance. My grandfather had a heart attack 2 years ago and ended up getting aphasia. My mom has done so much for him since then. She used to commute back and forth between our home and the hospital nearly every damn day (4 hour car drive there and back) just to make sure everything was ok, that he had everything he needed and to keep him company. She has helped him out so much even after he got out of the hospital too. Now they speak on the phone at least twice a day.
And my grandmother. She lives in another country, so it's not as easy to take care of her. But my mom makes sure she visits us a few times a year, for a few weeks every time. She stays with us during that time. They also call each other regularly, and my mom puts so much effort into making sure that she's ok and happy.
Really, I think that saying diminishes...

[lumos]

the hard work a lot of people put into making their parents happy and making sure that they're ok and healthy. Just as much as a normal mother would want her child to be happy and healthy. I just think it's a really rude thing to say. There are mothers and fathers out there who are absolute shitty parents, too. So it's not as if they're all perfect either.

[Pingju]

Thank you for sharing your story. Your mum is really a wonderful woman :))

In my country, I only hear people use "1 mother can take care of 10 children but 10 children cannot take care of 1 mother " as a question for scolding those who are not filial and unwilling to take care of their elderly parents.

[AshleyMD]

If all 10 kids were disabled then yea that makes perfect sense, but if at least one isn't then that kid or how ever many aren't disabled just do not want to help their mother.

[sl219hm]

The point of this quote is the new adults have to a duty to live, grow, develop and breed, not to tend to the dying or aging. It is life's purpose. Nature as they say. Their purpose in life is to live. If they can do both (live, grow, develop and breed AND care for their parents), they are in a very unique and rare situation. Sure from time to time a balance is and can be found, but on the average their time should be spent living. Far to often they do and are forced through circumstances and guilt to take care of their parent (s) and sacrifice their own lives (ie. living, growing and breeding).

I know this is counter-intuitive and I write this upset that my son is choosing to drop out of school and start a life with his girlfriend rather than move home and attend college all expenses paid. I am not even asking for him to care for me, but he is prioritizing his new life with his girlfriend over his old life with his parent (s).

While there are many examples that could be offered where people are being simply selfish, foolish or ignorant on both sides, namely parents and young adults. The underlying truth is we are designed to survive as a species not as a family. Family only serves the former purpose.

While this hurts as a parent beyond all pain. I know first hand trust me. I write this so parents can benefit from working with Nature instead of against it. The quicker you accept this painful fact and realize your place now is as an accessory cheerleader to their lives. The sooner you can begin to reap the table scraps of their lives. A perfect model for this relationship is the loving family dog. Like it, we love unconditionally, ever watching, willing to sacrifice our lives at a moment's notice in protection, ever waiting for the return home and loving beyond all love no matter what. We can and should and even do ourselves a great great harm if we do not consider our children's lives as a great reward for the wonderfully unconditional love we shared with them during the magical time of their childhood. It feels unfair and it is. It's sometimes abused and can even become pathological, but in general like our children we must look forward NOT backwards to what life has in store for us. Our children are the greatest gift life every gives, but we do not get to keep them.

[Pedantic]

A child cannot take care of themselves, let alone anyone else. Adding more children to the solution isn't going to help. 5, 10, 15, 20, 100? 100 children could probably do a lot for an adult, but then you're looking at 100 sets of individual needs to deal with...

Obviously its not sustainable.

[Pingju]

Xie xie ni, Pedantic.
I mean 10 grown-up children cannot take care of 1 elderly mother.
By child, I don't mean xiăo hái zi here :)

[Pingju]

My teenage friend's mother meant that 10 grown-up children cannot take care of 1 elderly mother.
She's not talking of children that haven't grown up :)

[Pedantic]

Oh, well, if it is not little ones then I sort of disagree with that.

Many of us are doing exactly that, right now.

[Confucius16]

Ya zhou ren ma?

Lots of kids can't repay the kindness of parents. (Many) Parents feed us, house us, clothe us, yet... it's very hard to repay them. It depends on the children too.

[Klaatu51]

nah...10 kids would be too much for a person in my opinion

[Cowboy6666]

Curse to those who leave their mom dad in rainy days n at the time of need!!! Who are financially independent but don't even want to see their troubled parents and their relatives!!! What a shame!!!

[abundantlyrich]

Only one should lead, the others are helpless like sheep, needing the strong one for guidance.

[mechp]

it's true because we'll never be able to repay our mothers what they have done for us and the sacrifices they made

[hypno-trip]

I don't think that's true...

[Anonymous]

It's accurate.