My overprotective parents found out that I have a boyfriend... what do I do?

[Anonymous]

The other day my parents caught me sneaking out to my boyfriends house and are really upset. My mother says I'm too young to have a boyfriend and it shocked her to know that I was going to his house alone (even though his mom was there). They say that I've broken their trust and that they never did these kinds of things when they were my age. I told them the reason that I don't tell them things is because they always jump to conclusions such as now when they want me to go to a doctor and see if I'm still a virgin (which I am and I've told them this). My mom keeps saying things like where could they have gone wrong in raising me. I don't know what to do, I've spent the last few days apologizing and explaining how I feel but they just don't listen to me. This is the first time that my parents have ever really gotten mad at me. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I have good grades, I'm a part of school sports teams and I'm a part of a bunch of school clubs yet whenever I mess up (their main argument is that I don't spend time with them even though my curfew is 11 and I only go out on the weekends). I've never seen my parents like this and their treating it like it's the end of the world... what do I do?

[cipher42]

Jesus. Your parents sound a little ridiculous. But then, my parents have always been super chill about everything, so there's that. Anyhow, I don't know that there really is an effective way to get them to see reason. Any people who would consider making you get tested for being a virgin sound a little too... something.. to be reasoned with. But you can try. Maybe explain that if they don't let you make your own choices, and possibly your own mistakes now then you'll be very unprepared when you actually have to go live on your own. Or just try and get them to understand that strict parenting creates liars, not obedient children (though I can't guarantee how well that one will go over).

Also do you have grandparents who you're alive and can get in touch with? Or even just aunts and uncles? Because I bet you could prove your parents wrong about them saying they never did stuff like that when they were younger.

[Paris13]

When the smoke clears, for things will eventually cool down here, dear, sit your parents down and have a long serious face to face convo with them in persuading you that they need to cut some of the apron strings and allow you to Prove yourself with a boyfriend.
You say you don't do any of the above and I am sure they know it. However, I do admit they are being just a bit over protective and are probably afraid you May start what you never have tried by going out with a... guy.
Be firm with what they need to hear and understand and somehow make them see that up to know you have proven yourself worthy and you would like to continue but you need a life too that includes having someone special as part of growing up. Tell them you would like to compromise and come to some sort of agreement so everyone can be happy.
Good luck. xx

[HuckyHucky]

All you can do to earn their trust back is just keep being responsible and don't go behind their back again. I understand the urge to break their rules is probably really tempting if they don't seem reasonable, but maybe if you have a serious talk with them explaining why you feel they're too demanding they'll be able to see your viewpoint a little more.

[Anonymous]

Tell them it's a personal decision and they can't control what you want to do. Honestly if that was my parents I would tell them to get tf out of my life bc people my age are having sex and getting pregnant and they should be glad that's not me (not to offend anyone who likes sex)

[Anonymous]

Sometimes 1 screw up, can ruin your image, or a game