How to escape the acquaintance zone?

[Anonymous]

If there's a guy or girl in my class that I think is cool, how do I get him or her to hang out with me, or join his or her social circle (s) in lunch times? how do I go from being a classmate to getting invited to a group hangout or a party? or for a girl, being able to date her? Cliques hinder my ability to create friendships and relationships. and I have a very small social circle, that isn't good enough for me to make other friends and meet girls. I will start uni soon.

[R3d_Anonymous]

I've had this problem my whole life and even asked it just like you did with "acquaintance zone", and still haven't figured it out. See this thread I once started on an other forum about it (I got chastised a lot, but it's interesting):

Yeah, very long and controversial. Maybe you'll find something interesting from that. boards.straightdope.com/.../showthread.php

[psychomonkey]

You have to run in head first. Just find people you think you would along with and try talking to them more and getting to know them.

[AmandaLynn1930]

maybe just start with small talk. let them get to know you, you get to know them. ask casually what they are doing later, invite them to do something.

[Asker]

I do that. but they have their own cliques

[AmandaLynn1930]

have you invited them to go do something? what did they say?

[Asker]

I said, "wanna hang sometime in the summer", and they either

A. said "we'll see"
B. ignored my messages.
C. said that they hang with their friends/family and/or will travel

[AmandaLynn1930]

they probably aren't looking for a friend. they have their own life and their own stuff going on. i feel like the older we get the harder it is to make friends.

[Asker]

I'm 18. what you said sounds more of a post college thing. yes, my peers have summer classes and are getting ready for college, but they do travel and have time for friends and family. nobody is THAT busy.

[AmandaLynn1930]

i didn't say they were busy. i said they aren't looking for a friend. they have their own friends/lives.