Can you escape the friendzone?

[pikok]

Nope. If she sees you as a friend, that's it

Absolutely!

Yes, but in very specific cases

The friendzone doesn't exist

Other (comment please)

[MCheetah]

Yes, but in very specific cases.

Most of the time (me saying this as a Friendzone veteran), you end up in the Friendzone when a girl likes your personality or certain parts of your personality, but doesn't find you attractive enough to date, often because you lacked the guts to close the deal. You usually have to let it be known EARLY ON if you like a girl or not; like within the first week of meeting her. And you have to do it in VERY CLEAR words and gestures. "Waiting for it to happen organically" almost always results in being Friendzoned.

Now you CAN escape in the Friendzone, but it is tricky and rare. I think of the Friendzone as being in romantic debt. How do you escape debt? By paying it off. To escape it, you have to show her that you've grown and changed as a man. "Grown some balls," so to speak. If she sees this, than the debt is essentially paid off. However, it's VERY rare, so I'd say it only happens like 1% to 2% of the time. And most men who end up in the Friendzone usually don't make enough personal growth in such a short time in order to win her over and "pay off the romantic debt" with her, so to speak.

So for a good 98% to 99% of the time, no, you're stuck there. And the best way to escape it is to stop being friends with her. Honestly, I've been Friendzoned A LOT. Some of the times, by my own fault. Other times, nothing could've happened romantically, no matter what. In my early 20's, it happened all the time. But by my late 20's, I refused to stay "friends" (a doormat and an emotional pillow) with women out of self-respect and dignity. I don't mind being friends with women, but being Friendzoned basically means a woman sees you as a cuck, simp, or beta male, no matter how she phrases it.

And yeah, Friendzoning can happen to girls too, but since most women don't have the guts to actually ask a guy out, let alone are unattractive enough for a guy to not even see as a friends with benefits or sex buddy, it's really rare. Usually guys will keep women around like that to sleep with on the side, but most guys won't Friendzone a girl.

In either case, I do not approve of Friendzoning. If you don't think the guy is attractive or worthy enough to be with you, then don't even talk to him. Same for guys; don't continue talking to girls who see you as weak and beta. If someone doesn't respect you in that way, don't keep them around to use like a "gay best friend." It's slimy and a sh*tty thing to do, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Yes. By walking away from the friendship. It sounds mean or deceptive to some (especially to the one putting you in the friendzone) but it isn't. You are not entitled to a relationship with the person, but they are also not entitled to your friendship when you want more than that. One of you may simply has a different idea of how to start a romantic relationship.

It seems there are people who believe that if you are romantically interested in someone, you need to let them know immediately; flirt with them, be "aggressive", that you can (should) skip to the passion even with strangers. Others believe that you first need to get to know the person, become friends, determine compatibility over a period of time. I've seen different GAG users here advocating both sides.

I think one of the reasons for the friendzone is that a person from the "warm approach" side is seeking a relationship with someone from the "cold approach" side. I don't think a relationship is ever possible from that situation, because the way both these people experience romantic attraction is different. Explosive vs. slow burn.

It's sad, but walking away is the best thing to do. The most compatible person is out there looking for you too.

[Anonymous]

Nope women friendzone guys that they have no romantic attraction too! If you’re in there you can’t escape, especially if she’s talking to other guys she likes. Being persistent in the friendzone and getting the girl only exists in movies, never happens in real life. For guys, girls, anyone who is in the friendzone right now, move on to another person that you like and that likes you back. It’s never gonna happen with the person who friendzoned you. Not worth waiting around for someone who’s never gonna like you back.

[hannahjo022]

Nope! Women pull the friendzone card if they aren't interested in having a relationship with you and not hurting your feelings but still want to be friends. I've done it before! Like most people say just walk away

[coachTanthony]

-------------------Yes just walk away. Nobody said you have to stay and be her friend. If anyone puts you in the friendzone just ask if they have anybody that would love to date someone like you. Two things will happen, they will get jealous and maybe let you out of the friend zone and start liking you or maybe they will actually have someone in mind. If they do neither then get the fuck away from them. You are not obligated to stay in a friendship with someone you like other then a friend.

"I don't do friendzones. Sorry ladies but I am already like a brother to someone else."
~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

[Silver158]

You know your stuff.

[coachTanthony]

@Silver158 Hey Thanks!

[rounddablock]

The only possible way to get out to disappear. Once your out of the picture she will spend more time thinking of you. In some rare scenarios she might realize she made a mistake.

But even if she does what you hoped for you still have to keep your guard up. There was a reason she wasn’t interested in the first place. She could easily revert back.

But once she does this crap it’s time to say adios and don’t look back UNLESS she makes it very clear she’s interested. I’m not talking her verbal saying that either but she better put out fast when you both meet up again. Talk is cheap.

[Seinna]

You end up in friendzone not because she wants you to be her friend but because she doesn't find you sexually appealing :) So unless that changes, I don't see it happening. But you could change... not that I suggest changing for anyone. But throughout your life you will mature, might change your style and overall become closer to what she finds attractive. Still, if you want that to happen you can't be too good/special to her as a friend or there's no incentive for her for anything to change.

[TurboKid]

I have before a couple of times including with my now-wife but I got friend-zoned in a way that I suspect wasn't due to a lack of mutual attraction. With my wife, I bounced out of it when she kissed me (I didn't kiss her, she kissed me). I don't know if it's possible if the reason that she friendzones you is due to a lack of attraction on her part. If it's for other reasons, I know it's possible to bounce out.

[Bella_Iris]

I feel like you may want to open up and tell her how you feel... so at least she will know... but just be careful how much you tell her because however she responds will be what it will be the future.. if that makes sense.

[christaygrts]

yeah, i ever feel in friendzone. it's really difficult to not saying that you like him/her because your crush just always saying that she/he loves you as friend. but at the end, i can move on.

somehow, you need a time to realize. just in my case, i can't escape a friendzone

[Anonymous]

a woman friendzones you you tell her to go fuck herself give her the double middle finger and tell her to get on her knees and suck your dick or show the bitch a picture of your dick and tell her to get on her knees and start sucking it and walk away. i've actually done this before and the cunts who tried friendzoning me actually fought with me and swore at me showing their true nasty hateful colors.

[Emmawatson44]

You're a psychopath

[Opinion Owner]

@Emmawatson44 oh really? why?

[Opinion Owner]

@Emmawatson44 good glad you think so.. like i give a flying fuck

[kaylealealea]

you can get out of the friendzone unless they talk about you being "such a good friend" and "best friend" repeatedly

[AgentRED]

Once you’re placed in that, it’s game over.


Cut ties with her completely like beheading a snake and move on to another girl.

[exitseven]

I do not think the friend zone is a real thing. I have dated somebody that I was friends with first. It wasn;t weird at all.

[slatyb]

She's attracted or she's not and that's unlikely to change anytime soon.

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Absolutely, just not in the way that picture is suggesting.

[Ninjazzed]

Yes, but why would you wanna date your friend in the first place? When this is usually what ends up happening.

[canucker90]

Then why is there the term “friends with benefits”. I don’t take a girls words to heart anymore that seriously. A girl could love me one day and hate me/block me the next for me not doing anything. I feel like girls want drama and sass and the chase. At some point that shit gets stale, tiresome, irritating, manipulative, rude and pointless to put someone through that.

[Ninjazzed]

@canucker90 Being friends with benefits doesn’t mean you’re dating them though? So I mean? It just means you both agree to fuck around with each other without actually committing.

[Ninjazzed]

@canucker90 Ok? I’ve had guys expect sex for pretty much doing nothing? Men string women along in hopes for sex instead of something more. He leads her on and let’s her believe his intentions are good and come from a place of desire for marriage when this simply isn’t true. I know men who can be just as manipulative and pathetic because they can keep up the act so perfectly. You win some, you lose some.

[canucker90]

Girls do the same shit now to, girls who want to be "bad" and play with a guys feelings because she was scorned in the past by a few douche bags happens as well, it goes both ways. Both genders should be called out on their stupid shit, simple.

[Ninjazzed]

@canucker90 Well girls don’t have the “bad boy” stereotype that some teenaged boys have but I get where you’re coming from.

[Ninjazzed]

@canucker90 Most guys just make bets on the girl, or see which one can be the first one to get her in bed even without him having any baggage or getting scorned.. it’s just unpredictable.

[canucker90]

Bad boys are perceived as guys who don't chase, who don't care and have this sex appeal about them for being cocky and rude. Well girls who decide to dress sluttier, have guys come to her, increase her sex appeal, act bitchy are pretty much the same thing. Trust me, I know, I was the so-called "nice guy" who argued with a handful of "bad boys" where the girl in the middle thought getting her bad boy guy that she was sorta dating or with would intimidate me. I know girls from my past who loved the feeling of the whole I have a nice guy on one side and a bad boy on the other. 9 times out of 10, a girl in her teens and 20s and even early 30s will choose the bad boy, until later on she realizes the bad boy will continue messing with her heart. But even though I was perceived as a nice guy, I held my ground with bad boys where if they wanted to fight me, I was down fight them as well. I'm not fighting over a girl but I remember the days of high school where bad boys tried stupid shit and call me a pussy and I would not tolerate it. Women and girls love that thrill, that raw, I-dont-give-a-shit persona, but these bad boys behind closed down are weak minded. I know guys who are 6ft+ and jacked (muscle wise) where they have called me panicking that his parents are trying to find an arranged marriage for him or other stupid things. Unfortunately, girls don't know this stuff, girls assume bad boys are tough 24/7. Nah, I've been around them, they aren't.

[Ninjazzed]

@canucker90 Then what about players? Guys whisper sweet nothings and girls succumb to their bullshit, how it usually plays out.

I’m well versed in these experiences, and from my experience, it’s the naive teen girl that desires a naive bad boy. I can’t speak on anyone else’s behalf but that’s usually how it goes.

Nice guys still have the same motives, they just mask it well and put more effort into courting someone. As opposed to a fuck boy, who would rather just get straight to the point instead of beating around the bush. They don’t want to spoil their dates.

I have plenty of Nice Guy™ stories and they all end the same. The false premise is always that they play gentleman and won’t prioritize their interests over yours. One went on and on, a whole spiel about what a great, compassionate guy he was. He was actually just your garden variety, abusive psycho.

He once said to me: “I wish you had been abused so you would realise how great I am” after I suggested we didn’t have sex until after a few months have passed.

What tf? Who says that?

Second turned out to be an awful human being. Was a nice shy guy at first but upon getting into a serious relationship that was just for the public.

Behind closed doors was a very insecure person. He had decent looks but was short and skinny with glasses.

I didn't mind and never held that against him but it affected his confidence and he took it out on everyone else.

Even after trying to work on it for months and always reassuring him he ended up cheating on me several times and then hid behind the nice guy victim thing.

Went and told everyone that I was out of his league and just using him as a place to live and I had been the one cheating which wasn’t true. I moved out and got my own place immediately to proceed I could and cut all ties.

Point being, we both have drastically differing perspectives that neither of us have experienced.

[Ninjazzed]

@canucker90 I don't know why guys place their value in nothing but sex. You think it’s insulting to be friendzoned, but I don’t think you have never been fuckzoned.

Is the possibility of fucking them really their only worth to men?

They need to learn how to fucking be friends with people.

[Ninjazzed]

@canucker90 And of course bad boys aren’t tough, it’s apart of the facade.

[Slartybartfast]

Because that's what a good man wants , he wants a women who is also his best friend. This is why good men are looked over. Agressive is attractive to women no matter how much they say otherwise, it should be obvious to the observant this is true.
Unfortunately (for both men and the women who wind up with the bad guys because of this) being nice is how you make a friend , being a jerk who knows how to manipulate women is how you make a girlfriend.
It's also why it's only the women Who you don't like that show attraction.

Sad but true.

[Ninjazzed]

@Slartybartfast Eh, that’s debatable. I know men who have been married to their best friends for several years but are just outright shitty people. Guess it just depends on the person they like.

[Birdlegs]

Yea of course unless she just finds you ugly in which case it might be more difficult

[Magnum615]

Nope and if you ever do, one or both of you never truly saw the other as a friend.

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/qVKTGoOefAg

[Jmmmfi4]

don't put up with that shit... tell her to fuck right off

[Shihab91]

move on... have some pride and stop simping

[Goatmeal]

Maybe if you stop being her friend?

[Silver158]

I agree. You'll get arguments saying "Well, you were never her friend then..." No shit! I wanted to bang her... but in the same vein, the girl definitely knew the guy liked her and kept him around anyway for the precious attention soooo she was never his friend either.

[Goatmeal]

@Silver158 I hope someday feminists will loose their stranglehold on the public debate, especially when it comes to relationships, and it will be recognized how fucking insane it is to get butthurt when someone you kept around to stroke your ego finally decides it's not worth it.

[Silver158]

@goatmeal I don't think it's specifically a feminist thing. I'm sure there are guys who would say the same thing if the role was reversed.

[Goatmeal]

@Silver158 I guess, I just feel like guys would be more likely to sleep with a female friend regardless of whether they had feelings for her. And that they wouldn't hold it against her if she then ended the friendship. I dunno.

[Silver158]

@goatmeal You're not wrong there. But, guys are also known to keep female friends that are interested in them around to stroke their ego. It, unfortunately, happens on both sides.

[Goatmeal]

@Silver158 True. I tend to go on anti-feminist rants. I apologise.

[Ryfyle]

Dunno, Consider Suicide to be an Escape?