You are 38 years old living at home? why?

[anaymous]

I dated a 38 year old man who lives at home with parents in a glamorous home. No kids. Divorced over 9 years ago. Works for his parents too. Doesn't pay rent or contribute to food. He is taken care of. We dated 9 mos & he broke up w/me..text..no reason other than he needs personal space. I only went to the house 1 time..when folks were not there. Never met them either. Never introduced me. Never slept the entire night at my place...had to go home. Another weird thing is that he never wanted to dump in my toilet...had to go home for that. He is highly involved in video games and believes he is from another planet (not joking.) We've been texting & talking after the breakup..came over a few times but he never opened up about why he broke up with me or that he wants to get back together. .but started asking to do things in the Spring. Says he lives at home trying to pay off student loan debts..but I'm not convinced. His parents want to build a garage w/apt above it for him to live there. Things spiraled out of control with me losing my job and needing someone..I felt I wanted to get back w/him but told him the truth...that I am in a state of depression and can't have a healthy relationship right now. I know I did the right thing. Is it normal and healthy for a guy that age to live with parents? I just feel if he had his own place, things would have been different for us.

[Middleman]

Guy aged 38 and still living with the parents (and teddy bear)? That sounds awfully abnormal to me...most guys would have left home some time ago. Though the sad truth is, I've heard/known of such people before.

I once knew a girl was aged 38 and was still living with her folks. The truth wasn't because she wanted to, but because she couldn't afford it. Housing is very expensive in London, and she just couldn't afford to have her own home, hence decided to live with her parents.

Another thing is, is your friend Asian? Its quite common for people in the East to live with their parents. That's how the families over there are brought up anyways. Unlike in the West, kids who grow up (especially boys) are expected to look after their parents when they get older, and some families even prefer their children to live with them. It is a totally different mentally to growing up in the West (where most of us are out the door by the time we are 18).

It sounds like either he's preferring the 'easy' life because his folk's home is cosy/glamorous; or enjoys his parents company. OR that simply, he's just rather insecure with himself, and has a fear of wanting to grow up and take responsibility for looking after himself. If the latter is the case, as he gets older, if anything serious happens to his parents, he's gonna have a real big wake-up call.

The sad thing about this is...if you walk away from this guy...I don't think anyone else (in the nearest future at least) is going to care about what happens to him. Most 'intelligent' or more independent-minded girls I assume if they found out would simply walk away and find someone more capable (of bringing stability to the family).

I dunno...I think this guy can still be loved...but it will take 'some' work...most of it to convince him to snap out of things. If you still love this guy, you're gonna have to convince him to walk away from his videogames and self-pity and start being a man by getting himself his own pad.

[Anonymous]

i know I'm younger, but he sounds like a spoild loser. he's 38? that's to old to never have lived on his own. he sounds very comfortable just living free off life with no worries,no resposibilities.then again I have no place to judge plus I have little info on this subject. but I would say either he is a forever immature man who wants to just be lazy and not have any work in life, not good if your looking for a serious relationship it will never work. or, maybe there's a reason you haven't met his parents? are you an affair with an actual wife? get more details. Ask to meet his parents, or when your there look for family photos, or even look in the fridge, every family has some kind of food for there kids lol. this guy sounds no good, to much package for you if your going through depression.

[anaymous]

I was at his home one time when the folks were out. He definitely is single. He also sleeps with a teddy bear in the night. I will never meet the folks. I am older but we look the same age. He may be uncomfortable with that. Yeah..I already told him I thought we could get back together but I have too much to handle with the depression. It's over but I thought it really odd the way he lives. After lawschool he tried being a lawyer but it didn't work out.

[Opinion Owner]

Well then I think if you ever had interest in a serious relationship he isn't a good guy for that, would he be willing to leave the teddy bear for you? he just seems way to attached to childhood life, and if you don't grow out of that by age 25 then your not going to do so well.

im 18 and am already ready to leave the nest lol

[Anonymous]

He's a loser

Someone like him is probably not normal and healthy to be dating and sleeping with anyway

[anaymous]

Haha! Yeah..and he's preparing for the apocalypse or some other disater. He has weapons, body armor, survival gear, etc. When I lost my job he said he had put $ aside for me..then broke up with me and bought a $10K motorcycle. Ugh.