Is it child abusive if my mother hits me with a belt?

[Anonymous]

[SomeGuy37]

Moving into a 'gray area'. I was seldom spanked, or slapped, as a child, and always with their hand. Good, in the way that it hurts them, and they stop spanking when it hurts them. Bad, in that you doubt their raised hand, for ANYTHING, after that!! Even if it is to press down your hair that is sticking up, you cringe, and ready, for the smack, but it isn't!! FCKED UP!!
In the US, most states allow spanking, and physical punishment, such that is doesn't cause serious wounding, or whatever the legal wording is!
When I was young, I messed up, maybe a lot more than I remember, but when I did, my dad usually gave me 'THE LOOK' and I shaped up, or he smacked the back of my head, and said "Don't be so stupid!"
That was during the Dr. Spock Era, when he said to 'reason with the child', but they don't understand reason, at that age!! He was a failure!
I learned a lot, by screwing up, and if it wouldn't seriously hurt me, or kill me, my dad just gave me his look, or smacked my head.
For the few times when I did something that could have seriously hurt me, or killed me, he spanked me pretty hard, so I wouldn't do that again. IT WORKED!!!
I learned that there are repercussions for acts, and responsibility.
If she beat you with a belt, I would ask, "What did you do?" Most parents don't spank their children unless they did something!!
It isn't abuse, if she spanks you for cause. If she beats you until you bleed, or it causes physical harm, then it is abusive.
A few smacks on your ass might be what you need when you do something wrong, or disrespect her, or ditch school!

[Exterminatore]

Most will say yes. I say how hard, how often, how many times any why? I have no kids, but you best believe if my teen daughter came to me and said she's preggers for example, I'm definetly taking a belt to that ass.

If your drawing blood that's abuse. Burning kids with cigaretts is abuse, locking kids in closets is abuse, harsh discipline for major infractions isn't.

[Asker]

I didn't wanna clean my room and she hit me with the belt
and my sister locked me in the closet onces

[RhythmBlack]

So you deserved the ass beating. Your sister locking you in the closet is a sibling thing, not abuse

[Asker]

so there an excuse for everything?

[RhythmBlack]

Your mom needs to beat you black and blue and there are serious bruises after she beat you, if not it's not child abuse.
It also depends on what she's hitting you for. If she's beating you for waking up a second late or putting your dishes in the sink after she's finished washing them, then it's abuse. If she's doing it because you're disrespectful/disrespecting her then it's discipline.

[Asker]

she does leave bruises

[RhythmBlack]

What is she beating you for?

[Asker]

when she left bruises?
I got home at 2 am from my friend house

[Exterminatore]

@RhythmBlack You and I see eye to eye on this. Sometimes an ass whipping is in order to punish serious infractions, but more importantly correct the child so they don't go down a destructive road in life.

[RhythmBlack]

I know, I've gotten beaten before, and there was only one time I didn't deserve it. My mom told my twin and I to clean the house. I started cleaning 30 min-1hr before she woke up , but she was angry that my siblings were yelling all day (so she couldn't get any sleep and she works the night shift at the hospital) and my twin didn't do what she was told. We all got hit, I thought it was unfair that she hit me but I kept my mouth shut. Didn't need to make her even angrier for no reason

[RhythmBlack]

Ok, you deserve a beating for that. Why are you getting home so late and you're not even 18. You may not like that your mom is hitting you, but it's not child abuse. Call it that and you'll make her real angry. Call the police for something that isn't child abuse, then I'm not too sure what you're mom would do.
If you want her to stop beating you then you need to behave. Don't talk back, don't disrespect her.

[overabundance]

It's not abuse, it's discipline. You didn't want to clean your room, that's nasty! Filthy, and she ain't gonna do it for you- so you should have done it. Do what she says, she is your mother! Unless it's out of druken anger, hatred or any other forms of aggressive behavior it is not abuse. The house is het kingdom and you shouls listen to her.

Maybe be a decent daughter and clean, then she won't have to. Denial runs deep with you, doesn't it?

[Asker]

lol I'm a good daughter

[PromasMorris]

well I personaly think that no one has a right to hit or touch anyone in any circumstance bcause my ex he abused me in many ways and yas so I'm going to say what I think by yes

[Asker]

okay thanks (:

[PromasMorris]

I'm sorry tho I'm not good at this stuff

[RhythmBlack]

It's child abuse if she beats you black and blue. It's not child abuse if it's used as a form of discipline.
What exactly did you do to warrant an ass beating?

[Asker]

I didn't clean my room

[RhythmBlack]

That's not child abuse. It's discipline.

[Asker]

it's child abuse

[Sjkakss]

okay but she hits me over little things and her verve’s is crazy my mum even started hitting my own grandmother

[Curlybeauty17]

For a regular whooping? No it isn't. But if it's unwarrented, extremely painful, and damaging to your body then yes.

[Asker]

my but still hurts from all the times she hit me

[Curlybeauty17]

That's pretty normal. I'd say that's more discipline than abuse.

[Asker]

I guess :'(

[Curlybeauty17]

It's going to be alright. Listen to your mom and be a good kid.

[Asker]

I don't like her she mean to me

[Curlybeauty17]

How old are you?

[Asker]

13 why?

[Curlybeauty17]

I was just wondering. You might not be mature enough to understand yet. She probably doesn't want to be mean but she does to teach you lessons. It's a form of discipline and an act of love.

[Asker]

and abuse as well

[Curlybeauty17]

No abuse isn't an act of love or discipline. It's an act of power. As long as she's not hurting you to the extreme (black eyes, bleeding, heavy bruising, internal damage, etc) it's not physical abuse.

[Asker]

I feel like it's abuse cause she always hits me and never my sisters :'(

[Curlybeauty17]

Well I don't know. I'm not there with you and I really can't tell. If you're the only one out of your sisters not doing what you're supposed to then I'd see why you'd get most of the whoopings.

[Asker]

I don't think she likes me

[Curlybeauty17]

She probably doesn't like what you're doing. I'm sure she loves you. I saw in another comment that you said you were kicked out of school. No mother would be happy that their kid was kicked out of school.

[Asker]

it's not my fault.
the other girl pissed me off I she got beat up

[Curlybeauty17]

Doesn't matter whose fault it is. You were involved, fought someone, and got kicked out and on top of that you refused to clean your room. I'd say that's a well deserved ass whooping.

[Asker]

I don't think I should have gotten hit but maybe you have a point

[Curlybeauty17]

I'm glad you can see this point of view. Talk to your mom about how she disciplines you and maybe you can compromise, but in the mean time you should clean your room.

[Asker]

I'll clean it up in the morning

[Curlybeauty17]

If you say so, I hope everything gets better.

[Asker]

thanks

[Curlybeauty17]

You're welcome.

[Asker]

my annoying little sister crying again

[helphelpimdying]

hehehe

[KLTheErudite7229]

I think it is as she planned on hurting you (not discipline you). If you feel hurt or have bruises on you, I advise you to talk to your counselor at school. It is ok for parents to slap their childrens hands/wrists, but not beating (hitting) them with belt or other weapons.

[Expect2Achieve]

Nope. it's called "don't disrespect your mother so she doesn't have to spank you with a belt."

it's only abusive if she does it out of anger without any cause. if she really wanted to abuse you though, she would not restrain herself to using a belt.

[Asker]

no its called getting hit

[Expect2Achieve]

if you did something wrong it's called correction. if your mother didn't love you she'd let you go down a wrong path and wouldn't care where you end up. her correcting you when you do wrong shows she loves you and wants what's best for you.

[KLTheErudite7229]

It is not true, don't listen to him.

[Expect2Achieve]

I'll also say this, if you know your mother loves you, don't go calling the police when she corrects you. even if you got her put in jail for child abuse for spanking you... you would then be taken as a ward of the state (which doesn't love you) and be in danger of finding out what real abuse is.

[Expect2Achieve]

and note, this is coming from someone who got spanked as a kid. my parents told me to do something (always for my good.) if I didn't do it I got in trouble... and I eventually learned to do what's right without needing to get spanked. haha. today I'm ceo of a growing company, a model, an actor, the most popular guy on campus, I have awards from the American Cancer Society and my character and integrity has gotten me noticed by some of the most respected and influential people in my state and throughout the US.
all because of lessons I learned as a kid. in thankful my parents loved me enough to teach and correct and yes spank me when I did wrong. -bc if they didn't love me and let me do whatever I wanted, I would not be where I am today with all of the accomplishments that I have.

[Asker]

not all people that get spanked are loved my there parent AZ

[Expect2Achieve]

please not I said earlier to recognize why you are spanked. we're not talking about everyone on the planet. we're talking concerning you. if your mom loves you and is simply correcting you for doing wrong, recognize she is trying to help you have a better life. she cares about you and that is a very good thing.

[Expect2Achieve]

*note

[Asker]

okay

[Expect2Achieve]

please select my comment most helpful. and I hope you grow to have a great life and accomplish great things. :)

[Purin]

In China, if you are online for 6+ hour you are qualified to be labeled mentally ill and will have a chance to be sent to military mental health institution aka prison... Spanking kids who are being dumb spoiled little sht is effective at times.

[Asker]

I'm not spoiled

[Purin]

Ik. I am just saying there is a slight possibility that ass whooping is not that bad.

[Asker]

well I feel like I didn't deserve one

[Purin]

Well what did you do?

[KLTheErudite7229]

You are lying and this is not true, stop pretending like you know everything about another country or any thin. Get a life and stop being so low.

[Asker]

who are you talking to?

[Purin]

Lmao I am from that nation that you claim I do not know anything about. Plus what part of that statment says everything. Please do not try to put words in my mouth. And please learn how to spell anything and that they are one word not any thin. You do not know me so your personal attacks are simply hilarious. Flipping out and resort to personal attacks does not make your claim valid. It shows you are but a fool haha.

[KLTheErudite7229]

Thank you for confirming yourself as a fool. I am from China too and none of my parents taught me that way. Perhaps you grew up in rural (uneducated) area where your whole family does not use brain but hands to be abusive. I am using English in correct grammar and spelling and you are the one who does not know how to speak English in a proper way. You are only scared of me because my words describes you and panicked you, so much that you tried to slash your fear out trying to intimidate me. If you enjoy being beaten- I hope you get a good beat.

[KLTheErudite7229]

I'm talking to the answerer. Don't worry about what he said, let's just be a bigger person and ignore him. You don't have to feel like you need to be beaten for anything.

[Purin]

So you are telling me any thin is proper spelling lol. What manner of educated person make wild assumptions without any sort of prove. You assume I came from rural area. You said I panicked yet there is no prove. You are just triggered and defensive because you cannot stand people bashing China. There are institutions in Beijing for this issue and is documented by BBC. Can't tell if you are being nationalistic or just brainwashed by the government. Look up internet addiction facilities on BBC. You obviously have no idea what I am talking about.

[Purin]

@KLTheErudite7229 I know what this will turn into so I decide to make one complete argument to end everything so the asker do not have to be bothered by off topic stuff. This is done out of respect for asker and I will not reply anymore as this is off topic and I apologize for causing asker inconvenience.
1. My initial reply is to point out that there are worst things in life and that corporal punishment may not be the worst. The China example was phrased in open statement meaning as long as one case exists, then the statement is valid and cannot be falsified. One of such prove for my argument is a BBC series found here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fsor_FoHv7A&t=377s
2. KL replied claiming I am lying. (Refer to evidence up top) “Stop pretending you know everything,” yet there is nothing like this in my original statement. (aka putting words in my mouth and making illogical implications) At this point, he is full blown TRIGGERED.

[Purin]

@KLTheErudite7229 The assumption is that he is angry that I bashed China. He then resorts to personal attacks.
3. KL then goes to say that I confirmed my being a fool which clearly does not make any sense. “I am from China … none of my parents taught me that way. Perhaps …. Rural area … abusive.” So what exactly are you trying to prove in this statement? What does parental teachings have to do with anything related to my statement? What is the purpose of this statement other than slander? KL claims he is using correct spelling to which I just quote “any thin”. He claims I am using bad English. Did I say I am using proper English? Maybe. Maybe not. I wasn’t saying I am.
4. KL claims I am scared and was panicking. You what mate? What part of my statement shows any signs of fear? I am merely replying to your statements. All of which are clear statements formed with logic. If I am panicking, then shouldn’t I make mistakes and resort to faulty logic like what you are doing?

[Purin]

@KLTheErudite7229 He claims that I am trying to intimidate him? Jesus Christ. What part of my statement is scary? You either have no balls or I am somehow some awesome person who can intimidate others by using logic. Wow. Thanks for the compliment mate. Next up we have something about being beaten? (so now you are just building your own story about me being in some kind of abusive family and am receiving beatings? Cool story bro)
5. Finally he ends with being “a bigger person”. (so your way of being a bigger person is quite literal. By randomly lash out at someone for freely expressing his mind)
So much for your education buddy. You did not prove anything and all your arguments have just been broken down easily. All I see is someone triggered and is frantically trying to protect his country. If you are calm and collected, maybe you can see the faults in your arguments. But what can I say, anger does make people blind.

[Purin]

@KLTheErudite7229 You are better off stating that my statement may not apply to all parts of China. That will be a legitimate defense and much better than your angry words. You should’ve picked your fights, but not today buddy. Love for one’s nation should be expressed in respectful ways, not by being defensive and attack those that speak against it.

[slatyb]

That's a legal question, but most likely it is. It's seems very strange to use corporal punishment with teenagers.

[CountryLesbian]

My dad used to do that to me when I was young. I think it's not the most effective way to punish your kids. My dad is mess up and not just for hitting me with a belt.

[Asker]

I'm sorry about that

[CountryLesbian]

I'm not speaking to either of my parents at the moment

[Asker]

really that's sad

[CountryLesbian]

It's all about me being a lesbian and they hate it

[Asker]

I'm sorry but my family hates them to something about it not being okay with God

[CountryLesbian]

Same as my parents

[Asker]

like my bff was lesbian and my mom kinda made her hate me

[Asker]

but I see nothing wrong with people being lesbian or bi it's there life so let them live it

[CountryLesbian]

Thanks!! So, when you leave your house when you get older. Would you stop talking to them or still talk to them?

[Asker]

I don't think I'll ever leave my mother controls me

[CountryLesbian]

Go to school and tell your teacher or a school counselor

[Asker]

okay

[dr_rocketman]

If you did something wrong and you know you were doing something wrong then no. But only of she just hits you on the butt.

[Asker]

she did hit me on my but

[HeckYeah]

She sounds like control freak and control freaks are just assholes. She needs therapy.

[Asker]

thank you

[HeckYeah]

No problem

[LoveHorses]

I think it is, no mom or dad should hurt their kids

[Asker]

okay

[Anonymous]

Depends. If she constantly hits you for no reason, it is abuse. If you don't listen to her and she warns you, no it's not. It would be excessive though

[Anonymous]

its not abuse of its hard discipline for good reason. i personally believe real whips are ok.

[Anonymous]

Yeah but it's usually not enough to call on and maybe you did something really bad

[Asker]

I just didn't wanna clean my room

[Opinion Owner]

Well if it's really bad and you have been told countless times and still didn't then I could see why she gave you the belt on the butt

[Opinion Owner]

Of course there are other ways, such as loss of computer privileges

[RhythmBlack]

You said you didn't want to clean your room and you were grounded for being kicked out of school. At this point you don't have the right to say "No". What exactly did you say to your mom anyway?

[Asker]

if she wants my room clean to hire a maid cause I'm not gonna do it

[RhythmBlack]

You got that ass beating on your own accord. Why would you say that?
It wasn't child abuse and you can't call it that. It's punishment/discipline for your rude/disrespectful behavior.

[Opinion Owner]

@RhythmBlack yeah I agree

[CapnHawk]

Not if you deserved it.

[Asker]

I feel like I did nothing wrong

[CapnHawk]

It's not how you feel, it's how your mother feels.

Personally, I don't believe in corporal punishment. I had an abusive father that used a bamboo switch on me.

[Asker]

that sounds like it would hurt

[CapnHawk]

Sounds like it would hurt? Oh, believe me, it hurt like hell.

[Asker]

I'm sorry 🙏

[CapnHawk]

Nothing to be sorry about. It's over and done with.

[Asker]

okay (:

[AmericanDude]

Yes, she's unfit to be a mother

[Asker]

thank u

[AmericanDude]

No problem and talk to someone

[Asker]

i will thank u

[Lilier]

Lmfao. What'd you do to deserve it?

[Asker]

she told me to clean and I said no

[Lilier]

That'll do it.

[Asker]

I guess

[NaughtySarah]

That's wrong in too many ways

[Asker]

I know right

[Browneye57]

Sure. Are you saying your mother beats you?

[Asker]

sometimes

[Browneye57]

"she told me to clean my room and I said no"
Sounds like a bratty kid. I would suggest you seek professional counseling if you have an untenable situation at home.

[Asker]

that's why I'm asking. cause if I call the cops I could get in troble. and I don't wanna get in trouble

[Browneye57]

Don't call the cops. Talk to another adult you trust or a school counselor. A priest, pastor, or Rabi if you are part of a church family.

[Asker]

I don't go to church ⛪

[Browneye57]

Discipline is one thing, but nobody should be striking you with any object. Period. Not even a hand.
If I told you to clean your room and you refused you would be grounded for a week.

[Asker]

I'm already grounded for a month cause I got kicked out of school

[Browneye57]

"Talk to another adult you trust or a school counselor." is what I said as well. Did you just skip over that part?

[Asker]

I saw church and I was like tf I don't go to church

[JoyGirl]

I have often wondered if it is abusive...

[JoyGirl]

It depends on what you did, tho.

[Asker]

she told me to clean my room and I said no

[JoyGirl]

Yeah, what you should have said was "yes, mum", not no.

[Asker]

I didn't wanna clean it cause it's not my job to clean :(

[JoyGirl]

It isn't your job to clean your room?

[Asker]

nope its my mom's job

[JoyGirl]

No, sweetheart. It is your job, not your mothers job.

[Asker]

I guess it is.

[Asker]

she hit me with her shoe right now

[JoyGirl]

What did you do?

[Asker]

she asked me to help her cook and I was like I don't know how and don't wanna learn.

[JoyGirl]

Sweetheart, from what I can see, you have trouble listening/obeying your mother. We all do at some point...
When you mother tell you to do something, you do it. It does not matter if you want to or not.

[Asker]

I listen to my daddy it's just my mom

[JoyGirl]

And?

[Asker]

I hate my mother. so I don't listen to her. I wish she will die

[JoyGirl]

Ok, I have tried. It is your choice, dear. Do as you wish.

[Asker]

thanks (:

[BeastRB]

No unless it was uncalled for

[ReMarkable]

Not if you deserve it.

[Asker]

I didn't deserve it

[Mr-Kabuki]

Hell fucking yes.

[cupidkisses]

yes it is

[Asker]

okay thank u

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Nope.