Do you think that the reason that some people can't make friends, is because they don't know how to be friends themselves, to other people?

[JimRSmith]

From time to time, I've noticed some people on here, and often those who spend a LOT of their time here making statements like "You can't make friends online".

Does this really mean that THEY can't make friends online? Should they be looking closer to home?

Yes

No

Sometimes

See answers

[SirRexington]

Very rarely do I think this is the case. Those who are different from the norm don't get along with the norm because they think and act differently than the norm. We as humans tend not to like things that we think are different.

Some people have mental disabilities that impair communication and create an inability to process speech patterns and body language (like myself). Some people don't know where to go to find like minded people and others are in bad places in their lives that affect their ability to hang out. And their naturally depressed or anxious state is felt by friends who don't want to be around a buzKill even though the thing that anxious person needs is friendship.

So no, I think there are a lot of factors to take into account before jumping to this conclusion.

[bethshepherd]

Such as people who have aspergers syndrome or austism, lots of them, and many of them are not officially diagnosed and do not even realise it. I have met many clients who come to me for therapy who talk that way, and feel that way, yet do not realise they are that way because of having aspergers or autism, and their family and friends have always thought them different or "special" OR quiet, but have never looked into why.

[ScaryCool]

You do have a point. I believe it is a mixture of people not putting in the effort and being a good friend themselves. Then there are cases of people who aren't good at conversating so it affects their friendship making, even online.

[PrincessPie]

Absolutely, I have made plenty of good friends online, of course you can make friends online, if they can’t its probably because of something they’re doing wrong, some people are so wrapped up in themselves they don’t even know how to make a conversation and think that it’s everyone else that is the issue rather than them.

[PrincessPie]

thank you :)

[Wonderer89]

You know my favourite saying 😊
If it smells like shit wherever you walk; you need to check your own shoes.

I think many people develop perceptions of other people based on how they themselves behave or would react in that same situation

[bethshepherd]

Some of the clients who come to me for life coaching and advice say they have no friends, and ask for help with it. The really silly ones think I will become their friend so that instead of paying me for consultations they can come to me for free ones in the future. The more realistic ones realise they should find people they have things in common with but have reasons that make this difficult for them. Maybe they are ill and housebound, or work very long hours, the very silly ones will use excuses for not being able to get friends and talk about being too busy when they work normal hours or never go anywhere where other people go. Yes you should be sure you have things in common with the other person you are friends with, where you both gain from it, a so called friendship which is one person using the other is no friendship at all and will not last. My guy is into classic cars so he goes to classic car shows and he runs charities where they raise a lot of money through it. On Sunday he raised £$9000 in a day with a classic car show, and the money goes to help people with cancer. He meets others there who are the same, very much into classic cars and good at organising, hard working, clever, caring, successful, so they make each other suitable friends, of course there are others there who like classic cars but have nothing else in common with him, so there is no point then.
I get a lot of people wanting to be my friend because they love the idea of chatting about psychic stuff, or they want to go on about their relationship problems, but that is the same as working to me, I need to get away from that after working with clients all day.

[Xecon]

Personally i have a hard time wih making friends because i dread talking to new people, I am way too awkward wih new people, especially girls so I dont see it as them not having the ability to make friends. My problem is with face to face contact so I’ve never had problems online with girls or guys

[Goodwifie]

I have trouble with this.
I'm really quite and social awkward until I get to know someone and most of the time they give before they get to know me.

[Alistayr]

That's a very good point, and I think you are spot on.

[ThisDudeHere]

There's some truth to the statement.

[cupidkisses]

There might be many reasons behind it

[BronzedAdonis]

There's some truth to the statement.

[zoe2187]

I completely agree.

[CoffeeWC]

Sometimes