We are both 20 and his sister is 8 years old, but I think that he spoil her too much. She just have to ask for something and he immediately grape his wallet and pay for it. She’s very adorable and polite, but I find it annoying how he always want to pay for everything she asks for, wether it’s a toy, cake or cloths.
Yesterday we were both on a date and he bought her a 60 euros coat, just because she asked for a new one.
And he sometimes even bring her home, whenever she ask for, so she may spend the week end with us. We are very close and intimate but I feel that he love his sister too much, just because he told me that he always wanted a sibling and she was born the same year he wished to have one.
Isn’t it toxic to be that close with your sibling? I am an only child so I don’t truly know how brothers and sisters truly interact but I find it weird how he spoil her so much.
As an older-brother, I know and appreciate the importance of closeness among siblings. I have taken care of my little-sister (with a 9-year gap) and we are very close.
But what you're describing doesn't seems as much closeness as spoiling with cash. (Doesn't he do anything else with her or is it like with busy parents spoiling their kids, since their money is the only thing they can physically give? How much do they talk, play to together, hang-out outside, or just share times together? I know she's a kid, so deep discussions can't be expected much yet, but does it go past the formalities? Does he instruct her on proper behavior/being a better person, and she listens and complies?) And does she also get the counter-balance training of how to respond when 'No.' is the answer to her requests?
She must learn that not everything can be solved or acquired by money. She must also learn that she won't get everything she asks for… and that's okay, even good for you to learn what is really optional wants or necessary needs, to learn innovation/resourcefulness, to learn contentment, to truly see the value of what you already have (as individual things and as a whole, esp. compared to many others in this world).
I understand that he would like to give her gifts, even many & great gifts to show how much he values her. (I've done that, too, and it IS a great joy!) But he must also realize that he is training her, too, and must also 'gift' her with important life-lessons. He (& actually 'they' as siblings together) must jointly develop a sense of what is a suitable treat & how often, instead of an undisciplined anytime, anywhere, whatever she wants.
I have a 4 years younger sister and she is my best friend and the person i love the most. Siblings love is pure and unconditional. I spoil her as well all the time but i dont mind i dont think its a bit deal.
It is not, and I think it's a little toxic to think like that. If anything his relationship with her is a good indication of how he would treat YOU one day if you got married/ dated longer. You should try to form a relationship with his sister too, maybe it will help the feelings of jealousy
No this is how it should be. I mean I personally wouldn't Put that much into materialistic Things and rather spend the Money to visit Themen Parks, Zoos and all that but him being this loving with her is great
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