I feel uncomfortable around my boyfriend’s father. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Me and my boyfriend are together for 2 years. I know his family for 1,5 years. We are living together but visit his family about once a month.

They are quite nice people, honestly. But I feel extremely nervous and uncomfortable with his father (especially when he is drunk). He casually talks about sex in front of my boyfriend and his own wife. Asks how it’s going in our bed. My boyfriend and his mom uncomfortably laughs and lets it slip. While I’m just sitting and wishing him to stop.

It gets even more odd when my boyfriend and his mom leaves the room. I try to not to stay with him in the same room alone.

he always gives me compliments, even buys me gifts for no reason. Always talks about how my boyfriend is lucky to have me. He does all of that in front of his whole family including my boyfriend so I don’t think that he is attracted to me or smth, maybe he genuinely likes me. I don’t want to make things complicated so I’m not sure how to talk about this with my boyfriend.

[NarutoUzumaki007]

What's important is that he is saying that stuff in front of everyone. So take it as a jokeThings would be serious if he was saying it just to you alone when no one was around. I know it can be weird but some old people are more open and have weird sense of humor. Unless he is trying to talk to you alone , just ignore it. Ignore it , but stay alert. Although I think that it's okay , he just seems creepy but might not actually be like that.

[NarutoUzumaki007]

If the sex talk thing was a one time thing , I guess it's okay

If he is talking about it regularly and frequently , the next time he does , talk to your boyfriend and tell him it was funny initially but it is getting out of hands now

[Asker]

He talks that way around everyone. And also when we are alone (although I try to never be alone with him).
But I think you’re right about his weird sense of humour. It just gets very annoying.

[NarutoUzumaki007]

How many times has he made the sex joke?

The next time he does , it's your chance to speak to your boyfriend

[Asker]

Pretty much every time we visit them. so lets say once a month for the past year. He wasn’t like that in the begging. I think that he just got very comfortable around me and can’t feel the boundaries

[Asker]

Beginning*

[NarutoUzumaki007]

That's a really tough situation.

You can't just accuse your boyfriend's father that easily I guess.
I can't even tell if he has any malicious intent or he is just carefree old guy lol

[NarutoUzumaki007]

Maybe what's best is that you don't talk to your boyfriend or his dad but instead talk to your boyfriend's mother if you have close relations with her

Just tell her you know it's jokes and you beleive the father doesn't mean it in a bad way but you never felt comfortable with it. Talking about this topic especially with your boyfriend's family or your own family makes you uncomfortable. I think she will understand and convey it to him in a better way and you can avoid talking to your boyfriend or involving him

[Asker]

Thank you. That’s probably a good idea since I don’t want my boyfriend to think that I’m somewhat accusing his father.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Don’t feel bad, I’ve a wee rap about sex and it was good if I do say so myself. Here’s a rhyme that I forgot to add. “My apologies if this is making you uncomfortable, but my d*ck is telling me you are very f*ckable”.

[soph13T]

Talk to your boyfriend about how uncomfortable his fathers sex talk makes you feel, establish secure boundaries and don't be alone with the father as he seems immature and lacks self awareness. Next time your boyfriend could casually mention his love life isn't the fathers concern and that the father should only give his opinion when asked.

[Wise4myage]

Your boyfriend needs to know how much this bothers you, and there is no reason why he can't talk to his father about this.