I’m confused why my mom treats my 11 year old brother better than me and why hispanic moms treat their sons better?

[pink_and_inlove]

My mom is really tough to handle. With me she is the coldest person ever all she does is order me around as soon as she sees me and she is always angry and arguing I am the one that helps her the most in the house yet she claims that I never do anything and she is just very cold and gets mad at every little thing yesterday she argued with me because I told my dad that my boyfriend wouldn’t be able to come before her, and that I was already going to clean my bathroom, and that I didn’t have towels in my room and because of that she started arguing with me insulting me and calling me disrespectful I was utterly shocked the other day she was also arguing with me because I took a tiny a bag of chips (there were two) and I hadn’t eaten the whole day. She isn’t always nice to my brother but she actually uses terms of endearment when she talks to him and she always lets him sleep with her etc. But with me I always get the coldest treatment. Another thing is that I feel like she was tougher on me growing up because at his age I already cleaned toilets and had to squeeze towels full of pee when I cleaned the bathroom, I also washed dishes, and I didn’t ask for people to make me food as often as he does. All my brother has to do is cut the grass about once a month. Even though I work standing up for long periods of time I still help her wash her pots and pans. I just feel like I’m treated with so much hatred people that have read my other questions knows that something about my mom is a bit off but I’m glad that I have my dad at least he is sweet to me and is both.

[caring__1]

Unfortunately, there are culturally promoted patterns that are passed down from generation to generation. Each culture has its own traditions, and they may differ from other cultures. It is very hard to buck a system that we've been indoctrinated with since we were born. In the Hispanic communities, males (of any age) are treated with blind respect, whereas females are there to do all the work. Actions of a male is often excused, whereas the same actions of a female is criticized. Men can have affairs (after all, men will be men), whereas women are ostracized if they have an affair.

You won't be able to change the whole system, but you can change things in the family you choose to create and nurture. You can promote equality rather than superiority and subservience. You can promote mutual respect. You're not going to change your mother, but to keep going back and expect different results will never be in your best interest. You're at an age where you can stand on your own two feet. Focus on what is within your control rather than expect others to change for you. Choose a partner who has the same belief system, and create a life the two of you respect and appreciate.

[buddysboy16]

The youngest is always mommy's favorite. It's the sane with my family. I'm treated very poorly and my little sister is the golden little angel (she really isn't)

[loves2learn]

It’s an unfortunate double standard. My husband’s sister was favored over him. And her daughter is favored over my sons. It’s sad. 😕

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I think Males tend to be close to their Mother's and there is often a Mother and Daughter clashing that often happens and no offense your Mother is toxic
and I don't know what is wrong with her , I hope someday she finds herself

[Mynameisbobby]

My mother treated me with hatred also because I am a boy. My oldest sister got everything she wanted new clothes I had my clothes bought from the goodwill. I know how you feel. Sorry you are having to go through this.

[ohshee]

Next time she does that tell her no speak English and she starts speaking in Spanish say no no no no no no I only speak in love and smile

[Gwenhwyfar]

Internalized sexism