What type of person still bullies when they're 25 years and older?

[Anonymous]

My older sister confronted one of her HS tormentors (a guy that tricked her into liking her back and did a cruel stunt on her, had others record it and humiliated her; others laughed), this is what he callously said:

''Yeah it was HS and we were kids then. I just didn't give you the time of the day. Life goes on.'' When she got upset and further confronted him, he told (with a smirk on his face) ''And you'll still acting like the pathetic loser you were and always will be, begging for attention, begging for love, trying to fit in where you don't belong and right now you're stuck on the past, let go already''. Then he left laughing, in the same laugh as when he was a teen.

It's been a decade since their HS graduation. Both are 28 year-olds by now and he called her ''a pathetic loser'' and was unremorseful? What type of person still bullies you at that age?

[Chriscunning]

So bullying can have long-term effects on people. Ask me and my mates. The thing is I have never confronted, nor would I confront bullies. Not because I am scared, but nothing will come of it. Maybe an empty apology if I am lucky. Or like your sister, extended bullying.

So bullies are always around. Even at work, when you 25, 30, 35, etc. It's just not as physical as before, it's more emotional. Some people just enjoy it and others have frustrations that 'over coming' by bullying (eg. abused children).

It like asking a serial killer why they unremorseful. It's because they enjoyed it.

I have no doubt his bullying people at work or where ever he is. His just become more skilled as his words to your sister indicate. He hits right at the spot he knows will hurt the most. Laughing is just his way to make it even worse that you 'so pathetic' it's even funny... ha ha ha. You see. His just good at it.

Chances are they no longer losers and just had a hiccup trying to confront the bully. Focus on the new life, HS bullies really shouldn't be in your mind anymore.

[Asker]

It was never physical bullying with my sister but the humiliation, the words, the shaming, the psychological effect of making her feel worthless every single day she got home from school. The jerk (lets call him Nick) at the time got one of his friends to pretend to be him in a costume or something. Nick found out my sister liked him but he played that trick. He got others to send her love letter and to meet him somewhere at the school, think it was at the cafe or something. They made out (she thought it was Nick) and it wasn't. It was recorded, Nick being the ringleader askning how it went and the guy bragged about it to everyone how she's an easy girl and other choice of words. Then practically the whole class laughing at her and my sister was left helpness in her humiliation. Then she had to undergo nicknames and others isolating her.

[Asker]

My sister actually thought she was going to get closure but she's giving up on that now. She knows by now some people just never change. I have to admit that it sucks karma hasn't hit Nick yet. From what we know, this guy is actually living a wealthy life and is a business owner himself. While he was doing the bullying back then, he also has excellent grades at school, nearly all A's while my sister's GPA was a 3.3.

[Asker]

I think that's what makes one feel unworthy, that this karma isn't real; when your bully has always been on the top and still is in both money and stability.

[Chriscunning]

Unfortunately in life assholes don't always loose at the end of the day.

Also sometimes in life you don't get closure. It's really one of those shiity things, and I personally had a lot to deal with regarding finding closure myself.

But 'Nick', living his great fancy wealthy life. You don't really know all the in's and out's. Chances are if his such an asshole he won't treat his staff well and he'll struggle to keep skills and grow. I have also known a lot of proper assholes who only get what's coming later in life. One had an accident and is now paralyzed. Imagine treating your staff so bad and now you can't move? Wonder how well he gets treated.

Another thing I saw is that most 'ugly' or 'average' girls in school really grew from ugly duckling to really pretty awesome girls out of school. I can see a lot moved on. Went to gym, lost weight and they really are something to see (not only physically but there approach to life and how they have become). I am sure your sister, with a small amount of effort will become something special and someone admired.

[JustAnj]

I'm guessing you were the sister you are claiming since you seem to be taking it very personally, if this is not the case, why are you taking this so personally?

You refuse to acknowledge the issue that bullies only go to the extent allowed by the other person.

Karma is actually the neglect of social understanding. In other words where people lack social knowledge and behavior intelligence.

The person that hurts you only has power if you feel they are right and allow yourself to reflect their assumptions.

You become a victim the moment they affect you and he becomes a bully the moment you allowed him to cause you pain.

Reality is he is just a jerk with high ego and probably with arrogant parents who act just as he learned to be, if not then he was not taught otherwise or pushed to have more empathy towards strangers he thinks are below him.

This is sad but what is worse is allowing yourself to see him in such high value because he mistreated you as others will with opportunity. In order to seek forgiveness we need to forgive ourselves for allowing others to be the importance of our definition and purpose. Grow without his permission and you will learn the value of yourself.

[Asker]

No I'm not 28, she is. I'm a lot younger than her: I'm 22. I'm telling it base on what she told me. She revealed this to me only a couple years ago.

[Asker]

As a sister, I do feel terrible for what she underwent and wish I would've there to defend her.

[btbc92]

Bullies. ^^

Bullying is harrassment and abuse. Only those who either is naturally like that, have been taught wrong and or is bullied themselves can be at risk of bullying. But just remember to always look at the root of it so you can better handle it. A person who called your sister a loser is somebody who takes pride in things in life. They are better avoidable and ignored.

[Asker]

It's upsetting how that guy still had the nerves to tell my sister to simply get over it and that she's a loser for still being hurt about it and then laughed at her pain. So basically for the bullies, it's normal to making someone's social life miserable in HS (which is 4 years; important developing years) and then greet the victim years later as if they were friends but acting surprised their victim is hurt?
Their logic is so twisted.

[ZackBan]

Bullying is largely misunderstood.
The only reason someone bullies those who are weaker is because they themselves used to be weak and see their own behavior reflected in another person. Then they lash out at that person.

But the irony is bullying can make a person stronger, it's the wakeup call a person needs not to be weak, lazy, whiney, and needy.

I owe my unwavering confidence to the bullies who picked on me for being shy as a kid. And while I would never thank them for it, the reality is they did me me a favor.

I'm sure this guy saw how your sister still showed the same weakness traits even 10 years later and just couldn't take it. I admit at 28 one should be able to control themselves and rather than lashing it they'll be disgusted and leave but I guess he couldn't help it.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

People genuine only don’t understand that bullying tends to be a benevolent act. A means of making you part of the group.

[Cynicaldreamer]

A loser that feeds off of making others miserable because their own life is unhappy.

Just wait until you get into the real world: bullies never really go away; especially in the workplace. They typically become your boss or supervisor, or someone of power.

It sounds like that person that is bullying/bullied your sister is an immature individual that never really grew up. He's probably just as bad, if not worse as an adult! Personally she shouldn't stress over it. People like that will never change, or apologize for their actions. It's best to move on and not let people like back into your life. Confronting them serves no purpose. I know she probably wanted closure, or to speak her mind- that's great! But look at what happened: he's still an ass. That's when you accept some people can't or refuse to change and move on with your life.

[isabellahudson08]

That's very immature lol, but if they're teenagers, it's understandable. People who bully and bring other people down are unhappy with their lives, which is why they spend their time hating on others and bringing them down, usually in a passive aggressive manner to hide their intent, and regardless of what your sister did, I believe a matured person would not say such things.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

he's just a shitty person some people you will never understand or make sense of their actions.. she will have to be okay with never getting an apology... he doesn't determine her value so to hell with his opinion and his prank she needs to move out of that area! Everything will be reminders and bring her down!

[Browneye57]

The truth hurts huh? That's not bullying, that's just life.
BUTT out of it. It's none of your business. You can't fix it, it's not your job, and you're not her mommy.
Now YOU are the one whining about it. Yes, life goes on, time for yours to go on.

[ToastyOats]

he's right though. Why was she still seeking a relationship, or whatever the hell she was looking for, from that guy. This is something nice people need to learn: form your own parallel society, don't even bother talking to jerks like that and you'll never be disappointed. But beware, people who can tolerate probing jabs and teasing will always have an edge rhetorically and mentally.

[LostInDespair]

Basically everyone who isn't rich, along with some rich people, do bully others after graduating college. In college, you could make the best friends for life. After college, you only make enemies or pawns. No friendships after college. Life after college can essentially be seen as a battle royale where people are willing to bring others down with them or scapegoat others for their own benefit.

[exitseven]

I had a couple of people that bullied me. I'm not sure what I would do if I saw one of these guys today even at 50 years old. I'm thinking he gets a swirly.

[Fuentes]

She probably was trying to fit in and be cool that wasn't her crowd and she had a wake up call also she is still trying today like if she didn't do. nothing about it back then why should she expect dude to care now? Lol let him be karma will hit people in strange ways

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

Honestly, most women deserve to be bullied these days. Most of you should be ashamed of the way you act and bullying would turn you into better people and actually create a better society for everyone in the long run. But no, we've created a society where there's a 0 tolerance policy for bullying, which inherently is a generally benevolent act of training for inclusion. One of two things generally happen when you're bullied, you either adapt to the norms and become accepted or you double down on your weirdness and get accepted as an eccentric, with the third option being doing nothing and continuing to be bullied. Honestly the level of bullshit in the world has so gotten out of hand that I think we need to create a profession of people that work in conjunction with therapists to make you feel like shit so therapists can actually get you to work on yourselves.

Women are so fucking deluded these days, I swear to god.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

The ones that need to change are the bullies. Not the bullied. You have it backwards.
The norm is that there is nothing wrong with the bullied and the bullies do it simply because they are evil.
In a evolved society we punish with is evil not praise it.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 you're wrong. Bullying builds strength, a lack of pressure physical or social, breeds weakness.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Not it doesn't. It causes trauma. Did you ever read a study about it? Most victims of bullying don't get stronger, in fact they carry scars for life.
You don't make a person stronger by beating it over and over. You make it stronger by teaching.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 no, it doesn’t. I was bullied and it ended the literal moment I knocked my biggest bully out. We came to respect each other from that point forward. Bullying is a generally positive intended action regardless of what most people think.

Most people are simply challenging you to stand up for yourself when they bully you or they’re forcing you to submit for the betterment of the community. I’d take bullying over being cast out of the tribe which was the general result of nonadherence to the standards set forth in our distant past.

You clearly only respond with your womanly feelings, this is not a topic of opinion, this is verifiable fact.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Do any research of the matter. Victims of bullying are very likely to develop problems like anxiety, social distancing, depression along with other illnesses such as anorexia. Life lasting effects, those are facts feel free to google it.
This is what bullying causes in most situations regardless of your personal experience.

Bullies are not doing it so that you can stand up for yourself or to improve the community don't be naive! They are doing t for their own fun. Nothing more.

Literally nothing you said it supposed by people who have done research on the matter. You are talking of what you believe. Your beliefs don't mirror reality.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 I've done quite a bit of research on the area, why don't you try doing some.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

No you haven't. Otherwise you wouldn't so naive as to say bullies do it with good intentions.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 You sure about that champ? You ever done any research on sexual psychology because this area overlaps pretty heavily with masculine development and the the development of confidence and long term resilience.

Clearly you don't have even a single idea about the reality of this topic.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Yes I am 100% sure. Not even a debate here.
It takes an incredibly naive person to actually believe that people don't bully others for fun and feeling of power.
The idea that they mock, abuse and laugh at someone they see suffer with the intention of helping them is beyond delusional.

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

@This_Is_My_Opinion8 you’re right, it’s not a debate. Because debates aren’t had with arguments based on feelings alone. Take your little girl emotions and go cry to your momma.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

You are the one pulling arguments out of what you think it's right. Nothing factual.
You don't like facts I don't know what to tell you.

[Asker]

Do you realize that each bullying situation is different. You said it yourself that it ended when you knocked out your one bully and we guys respected each other?
What could my sister have done with the jerk that humiliated her in front of the school? Even though he instigated the social bullying, she was literally against the whole class mocking her, with no one to defend her? She's also obviously weaker and smaller than you (and me) physically too.

[Asker]

Plus, what could she have done with the shaming she went through by both the jerk and his large group of followers? That's one of the worst bullying, when it's many against you.
Not every bullying scenario is victim (guy) vs bully (another guy), both getting into fight, the male victim beats him and the bullying is over. Different cases.

The jerk and his followers did affected her self-esteem, her worthy, she used to eat less as a result, dreaded going to school, really thought she was ugly, etc.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

Don't both with him. He lives in a different world.

[Battooot]

Mr. DELTA.

You listen to me very well now. Im speaking as someone who was bullied at some point in my life and got stronger because of it. You need to realize that not everyone has a strong mindset fixated on improvement and courage. Some people collapse under pressure and end up suiciding. Even i, the person with very stubborn, resilient, and strong mind: ended up with a lot of complications in my personality and still suffering from side effects from that experience. There are much better ways to do it. All you need to teach someone a lesson or teach them humility is to put them in their place one time and be give direct stern feedback that is aimed to improve them. "Bullying" is completely different and affects most people (as most people are weak and being pushed the wrong way) with scars all their lives. Im 28 now and despite considering myself considerably stronger now compared to back then 12 years ago... i won't lie that even now im still recovering from the dmg that was done. by the way one more fucked up thing. I faced one of the 2 bullies (the worst one) like a year ago and he was flabbergastedly surprised that he was a 'bully' and everything that happened with me. He was not aware of any of that and thought he was just "heavy joking".

[Battooot]

Just for your reference. The other bully i actually faced him and fought with him 12 years ago and that was the scariest thing i ever did. But i did it and we became cool afterwards and was so proud of myself. So the process of improving myself and getting stronger was already started 12 years ago. I just could never face the worst one who was ALSO feared by this bully. I thought it was important you know this about me so you know im like you but disagree with you. I hope you understand my points clearly. You may have benefitted from the experience but you are a rare gemcand statistics show that most people ended up developing mental issues and suicide rates and just fucked up people who end up being murderers and want to take revenge on the world afterwards.

[rjroy3]

To be fair. You can't bully someone who is provoking you. She confronted him and pressed further when he appeared to have no remorse. Still a shitty dude but that's not bullying.

[Asker]

My sister feels so bad that karma doesn't exist. That jerk (lets call him Nick) always had a high GPA, ended up being the HS Salutatorian (only 3 small digits behind the first), came from a wealthy upbringing as an only child, both parents present in his life... he had it all apparently. As an adult, he is a wealthy man with his own business and he's engaged right now. My sister is behind him in all ways; brains, money, no life partner and stability.

[Asker]

It makes us think, where is this so called karma people keep talking about... of how your bullies will be losers at some point or be below you? Neither him nor his other followers are suffering.

[rjroy3]

Does she want to feel bad about his outcomes or does she want to have a better life for herself?

[Asker]

She wonders how can someone bully and go on enjoying life as if nothing happened? She wants to be happy but once it a while, she remembers those bad HS years and it upsets her sometimes.

[rjroy3]

We all get upset from time to time. That said, allowing something from that long ago to control you and your emotions is more important to address than anything that happened in her past

He has a point, however shitty the way in which he said it. Stuck on the past and refusing to let go. It would be one thing if he was a part of her life now and to keep the peace she sought to resolve things.

But she's giving him unique power over her. And she went to him so he could "free" her so to speak from that pain. That's not for him to do. She needs to manage that and lower his importance in her life now, emotionally speaking.

I've had people seriously cause me harm in my past. I've even done what your sister did and approached the person years later, to which they had zero remorse.

I only truly let it go when i realized I'm the one holding into it and it's not something the other person is holding. This feeling was in me.

Similarly the hurt and upset feeling is in your sister and your sister is the one holding it. Only she can let it go. Even if he did apologize there is no guarantees she would let go.

Ever met someone who was wronged, had the person apologize and they were still mad? Ever had someone apologize to you and that not be enough? That's because you're the one holding on to the emotion and reserving energy to maintain that hold.

That's why it weighs people down

[Anonymous]

Am I missing something?

She came to him with a grudge from over 10 years ago, then he told her to forget it and move on already. In the end, when he had enough of her nagging about it he told her everything to shut her up, as she were leading to it and in the end he is bully and bad person?

[DeltaCharlieEcho]

I kinda agree with this guy, not for the same reasons I’m sure. But I have a strict “I don’t accept apologies” policy. You have to either live with the shitty things you’ve done or you have to forgive yourself and change. It is not up to me to forgive you, my forgiveness does not absolve you of responsibility for your actions. Nobody can do that but you.

[MotorcycleMan]

Sociopaths, bullies, jerks, losers, men with insecurities and small penises.
Typically any time someone is putting other people down, it's because they want to feel better about themselves.

[Asker]

It's sad that they are stuck in their small world and never grow out of it. All my sister wanted was closure. A simple ''yeah I was wrong, sorry for hurting you back then'' would've been enough but nope, he had to revert back to his HS persona again. Wow... just wow.

[MotorcycleMan]

Right? The funny part is that he thinks she's the loser. lol
Hopefully your sister sees that.

[Asker]

Thing is she feels a lot worst knowing this bully is doing so well in life. He's still wealthy, owns a business and is recently engaged. He'll always be above her in both financially and in life goals. It's like he threw it in her face by calling her loser. He never got his karma and probably never will. My sister now believes karma is a fantasy and never existed.

[MotorcycleMan]

People like him feel a strong need to show others how "successful" they are. Image is critical. Things are usually not as rosy as they seem.
Stop comparing herself to him and be happy living her own life.

[cute_kitty12]

Not the type of person you should surround yourself with. Take it from someone who has also been bullied

[jshm2]

The more important question is why your sibling is still so hung up on such an asshole?

She's got the issues he's talking about. She either needs to get revenge or grow up and move on.

[KWill90]

Your sister sounds pathetic, and she's living in the past. What does she expect? The guy to cry and grovel to her now? Go find a husband and get over it woman.

[MCheetah]

Progressives and far-leftists, to answer the question. They're the type to still bully people into adulthood. Twitter and Reddit trash.

[IronLady6354]

A lot of people still bully after 25. It's just done in a more 'adult' way then when kids do it

[EmmaMary]

Pathetic juvenile delinquents, louts, who have simply never grown up and sadly never will.

[Anonymous]

Why did not she call the police or why did not she defend herself? Wtf man i would not let myself humiliated and why tf is she dating a highschool bully?

[Opinion Owner]

This sounds like wattpad story

[Asker]

She bumped into him by random chance and simply decided to confront him about the bullying back then. She wasn't dating him. She liked him in HS and when he found out, he humiliated her in front of the class and since then would bully her with his followers.

[Asker]

My sister got bullied in HS. Both her and one of the main bullies are now 28 year-olds and the guy remains unremorseful about it till this day.

[Opinion Owner]

So his followers was with him all the time? Or do they plan to meet eachother

[Asker]

His followers were his large group of friends, several girls and other classmates. According to my sister that guy was so popular that others would listen to him and really what everything he did was funny and this resulted in the extended bullying.

[Opinion Owner]

I am sorry what happened to her. I wish she can do revenge

[Asker]

My sister used to believe in karma but stopped when she sees his life is still doing well. Just to think that with a closure and a sincere ''I was such a jerk back then, I'm sorry for hurting you'' would've been enough. She would've forgiven him but nope, he's so cold and callous... still thought her pain is funny.

[Kyle-Jackson]

i would beat up a guy if he did that to my gay brother, OMFG that makes me mad

[Asker]

yeah... all my sister wanted was a simple apology, closure and she would've forgiven. She's the type to forgive if someone is sincere and changes. But wow... he had to be that callous and unremorseful... to still laugh at her pain.

[Kyle-Jackson]

disgusting guy