How would you feel if your parents choose their cousins over their own child?

[Anon_squarebear]

How would you feel if your parent choose their cousins over you? My mom choose her hood family over me. Even though I can admit I may have overreacted to the situation but after they threatened to assault me, and I called the police I still can’t believe she’d rather have them in her life over me. I guess they’re allowed to bully me, molest me, and threaten me but I’m not allowed to do anything. How would you feel if your parent stopped talking to you for their cousins.

[420Rachel]

Then they wouldn't be my parents anymore. Also you had every right to call the police after being threatened with bodily harm. You did nothing wrong dear. Depending on the circumstances sometimes it's best to cut ties with even the closest of family members. They're no longer your family after behaving like that. You need to cut your mother off for good and maybe she'll realize what a huge mistake she's made.

[Anon_squarebear]

I really didn’t want to have to cut my mom off, but if someone threatens to come to the state I live in to hurt me, and their only way of knowing is via my mom, I can’t trust her anymore. It hurts because we were actually very close and I love my mom dearly, but I’d never allow another person to feel comfortable enough to threaten my child. Doesn’t matter who they are. And the fact that that particular side of the family has engaged in abusive action towards me in my younger years makes this all the more worse

[420Rachel]

So your mom told them where you lived so they could come hurt you? That's really messed up. I know it's hard but you need to do what's best for yourself. I can imagine being in such a situation myself would be heartbreaking. But you and you alone are the most important person in your life (unless you have children). Focus on yourself and the positive people and influences you have in your life.

[Anon_squarebear]

Well the girl threatened to hurt me when I come back to the state where my mom lives. I frequently go back and forth due to the flexibility of my job but now I fear I cannot return because of this.

[420Rachel]

That seems like the best idea. Maybe after a period of no contact with your mother she'll come around and realize her mistake.

[Anon_squarebear]

She might. But even still, how can I trust her ever again? I don’t think I could honestly. Unfortunately I’ve been hurt too many times and I’ve learned not to forgive, especially in a situation that could potentially cost me my life. And I've unfortunately had to learn that the hard way

[Avicenna]

That would anger anyone

[Mynameisbobby]

Yeah I get it...

[karaspara]

Upset

[Iron_Man]

They wouldn’t do it

[Anon_squarebear]

I wish my mom felt the same way

[Iron_Man]

I’m sorry

[888theGreat]

Is this real?

[Anon_squarebear]

Unfortunately. My cousins got mad because I cussed them out about having a cookout during covid. Admittedly I just lost my father to covid a month ago and with my mother in attendance I didn’t want to lose her also. And it doesn’t help that I had a miscarriage 2 weeks ago. So honestly I responded somewhat harshly but I never threatened them. They threatened me with bodily harm and my mom blocked me for calling the cops and filing a police report

[MannMitAntworten]

Your mother chose cousins over you the same way you chose outsiders (the police) over family. See the parallel?

[Anon_squarebear]

@MannMitAntworten well just because they are my family doesn’t give me a reason to allow them to threaten and harm me. The minute they choose to do that they were no longer family in any way shape or form, so they got treated as such. So are you suggesting that I should allow someone to threaten and harm me and potentially risk my career for people that have never had a career, never went to college, and choose to live their lives in the gutter?

[Anon_squarebear]

@MannMitAntworten if you are seriously suggesting that, I should allow multiple people to assault me over a comment I made, lose my job at a wealth management firm and give up the 6 years of education I endured over a comment to preserve a relationship with my mother then my response to that would be… fuck my mom and them. I worked hard for everything I got and they ain’t taking it from me just because they want to be ghetto hood rats. They can stay in the gutter but that ain’t for me.