If you moved to a new city and didn’t know anyone at all, what things would you do to create a social life?

[Flower7]

[abc3643]

This is a very good question and I had to face this in 1992 when I moved from upstate NY to Los Angeles. This was before the Internet was public and there was any wi-fi or high-speed then...

I mostly kept to myself and was OK with that. I did go out and shop at bookstores or malls. Sometimes, I just drove around. I did have a cousin who lived an hour away, so I visited him. I had other cousins who lived 6 hours north or so, so I'd visit them sometimes. But, mostly, I was heartbroken and kept to myself trying to get settled.

[abc3643]

What would I do now? Well, I make friends by being a repeat customer at places... this way, they get to know you and you them. You quickly get be able to have small talk and, who knows, it go beyond that. For instance, I live in MO, but usually work fulltime in CT and live in a hotel. I get to know the front desk people because they see me at least once each week to pay my bill. But I also get my haircut from the same people. Get my Chinese food or pizza from the same people. I have my coworkers; seeing them at work is good enough but sometimes I'd go visit their homes for whatever reason. I am married, so I wouldn't be seeking a relationship and I do not live there officially, so I never really get settled knowing that I will have to leave, but it's still good. If I was to live there full-time and be single, I don't know what I would do. At the same time, I am 58 and too old for dating so I'd probably still keep to myself in that area.

[Flower7]

I’m sure it was SO much harder to meet people before the internet!

Being a repeat customer at certain places is a good idea to gain familiarity with both the employees and customers there.

You’ve lived in so many different places. You mentioned 4 states just in this post alone. I’m sure it was most likely even more than that.

[abc3643]

LOL... Yes, that's true. I have lived (*) in lots of places. I lived in the following metro areas:
1. Long Island - NYC NY
2. Albany-Troy-Schenectady ("Capital District") NY
3. Dayton OH
4. Los Angeles CA
5. Buffalo NY
6. Hartford CT-Springfield MA
7. Rockford IL
(*) In half of these places, I lived in hotels for months or even years.

[abc3643]

OH!
8. Saint Louis MO metro area - where I actually own a home.

[abc3643]

Something else you can do...
You have hobbies - we all do. There is a good chance that there is a meetup group for that... and local Facebook groups. Local Facebook groups are a really good way to meet local people even if it is online and that's how you can learn about a place by seeing what's important to the locals and ask them questions.

[exitseven]

Join a gym and try to meet people there. Or take a class in something I am interested in. I would not troll social media or hang out in bars.

[Flower7]

A class is a fun idea.

[exitseven]

I got my degree at night and there were a lot of nice women in my classes.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[hannahjo022]

Gyms, fitness classes, hotspots, volunteer, parks, etc. When I moved to a new city, I actually made friends through my coworkers and met people through my coworkers. When I got a puppy, I would take it to walks everywhere and met a lot of people especially guys. Took dance classes since I missed dancing and met people there. My work does volunteer work to give back to the community and met people there. Gyms and fitness classes are the most easy places to meet people since they have the same reason to go to workout just like you. I had some guys tried to talk to me by telling me what to do which is annoying because I know what to do when I work out. I don't like meeting people at bars because they end up not being good people.

[Jena-Min]

Probably I would do my best to make good acquaintances and friendships with fellow coworkers, alongside doing my best to fit in.
I'm really sociable and I like to adapt to make other people comfortable and willing to share, so it's always a good to meet new people!

[Flower7]

This is someone who is self-employed and has no coworkers.

[Jena-Min]

OK, I understand, then things change a bit!
My suggestion would be to frequent local bars and city life spots, partecipating at public and sports events and why not, even volunteering!
That said, naturally this person should keep in mind of the Covid regulations in their area to make sure they socialize and interact in the respect of their own safety and the safety of the people around them.

[Flower7]

Putting effort into fitting in is a good idea. Learning how to adapt is always a good skill to have. Sporting events and volunteering are interesting ideas also.

[Interstate]

I wouldn't. I would let people encounter me and say something. From there, assess them and see what happens from there. I would accept their invitations if the vibes were good, or politely decline if they are throwing red flags. Let them get an idea of you first then go from there.

[Titanya]

Just let it happen naturally, as you create your own routine you'll end up meeting people along the way. Like when you go out to eat, exercise, shop etc

[Flower7]

I’m sure that’s true. Being in a rush to meet people doesn’t usually work very well.

[DizzyDesii]

I really have no intentions to. I’ll stick to art galleries, libraries, baseball games, restaurants, and record stores. If i dont meet anyone in those places or on the city train then so be it

[Flower7]

That’s a good approach, to just let it happen naturally.

[amani2010]

Find more information and details through google, the surroundings, history about the city the culture and what kind of people are in the city and what type of food are available and can be affordable plus the mood of transport.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I would visit Churches / Libraries / Social events / Fast food places/ Stores that a lot of people frequent

[Flower7]

Those are some good tips.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Flower7 You're Welcome :)

[FinalFantasyBro]

If I were moving to a new city and wanted to interact I probably find the pool and hang out with others.

[Flower7]

A pool is a nice idea. Beach could work too.

[FinalFantasyBro]

Yep! Get some fresh air while taking a dip in the water. 🤽🏾‍♂️🏊🏾‍♂️🏄🏾‍♂️

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/Jv78S1KoCwI

[Flower7]

Facebook Events is a really good idea. I’ve never looked on there before.

[es20490446e]

https://youtu.be/nSarcyiwuKk

[Flower7]

I’ll have to try that!

[Mehzmeh]

Bar hopping, join a gym, find a activity that you like and find like minded people.

[Flower7]

That sounds like a good start.

[Mehzmeh]

That's what I do when I, use to move around a lot.

[Jamie05rhs]

Great question. I did that once before and I didn't really ever get to the point of having a social life. I just mostly stayed to myself. I kind of regret it.

[Andres77]

Bookstores.
Climbing gyms.
Rivers or coastal kayaking spots.

[menina]

I would try to go to places where I could meet people. I also would try to find a hobby.

[Elizabeth992]

Join various organizations/church; go out on dates; use the meetup app for happy hour gatherings

[Miristheiss]

Join meetup. com... join groups that pertain to your interests.

[Zygum]

Send gifts to your neighbors, invite your work colleagues on lunch or dinner on weekend

[Flower7]

Interacting with neighbors is a good idea.

[Zygum]

Thanks

[sarahlumpkin]

Pardon the frivolous term but "Meat Up Groups" would be my route.

[Shiver]

I pretty much just start going on dates. That's been my main method of getting to know new people the past few years.

[Flower7]

Where do you meet the people that you go on dates with? Do you just use dating sites?

[Shiver]

Mostly dating apps. Tinder and Badoo work best in my experience.

[morgan10133]

Bars, restaurants, gym, clubs, join social club maybe (like soho house).

[pizzalovershouse]

Go to community events for charity that are inexpensive other wise you go to the high class charity events you meet snobs

[Dude_777]

Join some extra curricular activities and hobbies and meet new people there.

[chrissykerdock]

stand on a street corner wearing my shortest mini dress

[LoveIsFake]

Attend places you like and go out do hobbies of yours

[Adam_West]

I don't deal with such things when I move to a new city.

[amani2010]

Okay organize your self.

[Adam_West]

@amani2010 yeah

[scott04sa22]

Rather live as a hermit

[scott04sa22]

K.. Big deal on what I said 🤷🏻‍♂️

[WowwGirl]

Join a fitness group

[Flower7]

Good idea!

[humanearth]

Go to a bar and start a first fight

[Rouge_girl]

Talk to people at work

[Flower7]

This is someone who is self-employed and has no coworkers.

[SamE86]

Get a job

[Shy_Steve]

Probably not much.