If you had family members who were toxic, would you still try to get along with them or would you cut them out of your life?

Flower7

Master Age: 38

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Apulu_3 Follow
Yoda Age: 16 , mho 43%

+1 y

I am still a kid so I won't have them but my parents have those toxic relatives. He was my dad's brother and he was manager of our business but he took the advantage to get extra money from the honest account's staff threatening him to fire him if he doesn't gives him money. My mom noticed irregularities in the bank and told to my dad and then they put security cameras in the showroom. They already suspected and knew that who was behind this mess but they couldn't do anything than giving warning because my dad's brother is favorite son of grandfather for some reasons and grandpa won't be very happy if they did something to him. So like my parents taught me they tolerated it all until one day when they found out that he also had many loans on him which he couldn't pay back and took the loan saying "My brother would pay it". It was a very huge amount and after few weeks when my dad didn't paid much attention on the showroom where he was manager my parents suffered a huge loss and this all was done in a very clever way and the costumers also had to show up and all. And when grandpa said to pay the loan of my uncle my dad had enough of this and fired him and didn't really cared about grandpa. And then a whole lot drama happened but now all is ok. So I think the answer should be sustaining till it is too much.

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s
menina Follow
Master Age: 32 , mho 49%

+1 y
1.1K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

I would cut them out. I don't need more negativity in my life and I don't want to be around people who don't like me.
Most of my " family" members are toxic and I'm planning on cutting them off once I leave the country.

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3 Reply
- Flower7
  
  +1 y
  That would be a true fresh start!
  
  Reply
- s
  
  menina
  
  +1 y
  It would, that's all I want in life!
  
  Reply
- s
  
  menina
  
  +1 y
  Thanks for the MHO!
  
  Reply

SteveSmith1985 Follow
Guru Age: 39 , mho 73%

+1 y

It depends entirely on the nature of 'Toxic' and more importantly the effect they have on your life.

If you've got an uncle who is just obnoxious, unpleasant, rude and you don't have to see him regularly. It's not the end of the world if you continue to invite them to big family things (if he can behave himself).

If it's a family member with whom you have a long and trauma-filled history then that's very different.

I think the key is to think about it from the perspective of "What is best for MY mental well-being".

It makes sense to try if there's a prospect of things becoming less toxic. If there's some relationship which you determine is worth making an attempt to make less toxic, and the other person is willing to work to hopefully change things (say, a child trying to form an adult relationship with a parent when things were toxic between you in the past).

If you're talking about a toxic family member who is truly toxic. Then maintaining a relationship with that person is doing nothing but harm to you. It might be difficult, but I would think it's better in the long-term to cut-them out and be free of their negative effects on your life.

Please note. I have never had to do this.

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DonkeyDan Follow
Guru Age: 48 , mho 33%

+1 y

Well I do have a toxic family, parents and brother. I have as good as cut them out of my life, but because of some stupid misguided notion of responsibility to them, I still go and make sure they have the things they need once a week. But believe me it's not a social visit and I communicate with them as little as possible while I am there. I basically do what needs doing like taking care of paperwork, a bit of cleaning, and cook and serve a proper meal then I leave, I don't even stay to eat with them. I hate myself for still going there every week.
They know very little about me these days, they know where I live, but have never been inside my home. They know nothing about my life or my job, and they only found out I was divorced because my aunt told my dad (her brother). I'm basically waiting for them to die so I can be done with them once and for all, I know that sounds horrible, but you have no idea what assholes these people are.

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1 Reply
- DonkeyDan
  
  +1 y
  Thanks for the MHO
  
  Reply

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Interstate Follow
Explorer Age: 42 , mho 37%

+1 y

They already cut ME out of their life. The one in the middle is just a piece of shit who thinks he can do no wrong, and the other has his balls in his wife's purse in Gettysburg. She has had a stick up her ass with me since the day she met me. She had always hoped I would get cut out of the picture, when HERS is so ugly she shattered the glass in the damn frame!! But the oldest won't stand up to her, so he just goes along with her in doing anything where I won't be.

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NathanDavis Follow
Master Age: 34 , mho 32%

+1 y
2K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

somewhere in the middle... I have relatives that are a little bit but not fully toxic, and I made it very clear to them that I won't stand for any of their shit, ever... so they just don't mess with me, we get along enough to be in the same room... and whatever petty stuff they try I just ignore it... lol

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Cherry234 Follow
Guru Age: 26

+1 y

It depends. If I live near those family members or if I run into them I would try my best to get along with them. But if I'm far away from them I would cut them out of my life

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1 Reply
- Flower7
  
  +1 y
  That sounds reasonable.
  
  Reply
LaFerrari Follow
Explorer Age: 27

+1 y

Family is family, my dad did that with his middle brother, he was a bit of a trouble maker… but they didn’t talk for 20 years…and brother ended up dying.

But I wouldn’t just cut someone out of my life like that. Though I guess some people have their reasons, so no judgement.

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Shortman70 Follow
Xper 6 Age: 54 , mho 48%

+1 y

I wouldn't totally cut them out, I would talk to them on holidays, if they come around but that would be it. They won't be invited over for game nite, beers, bbqs and that stuff.

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SamA_nold Follow
Yoda Age: 23 , mho 57%

+1 y

I try to get along with my toxic parents, but there's only so much I can do on my end, and if they don't want to return the effort... Well, it's not my problem any longer

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Bricealan Follow
Guru Age: 44

+1 y

I have an older brother, who, at times, is a gaping asshole, not to be tolerated by just about everybody around him. I just do the best I can with him and tolerate his bullshit as much as possible.

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andy530 Follow
Guru Age: 36

+1 y
368 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

I’d like to say I’d cut them out but if I’m being honest with myself I’d probably still try and keep a connection

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2 Reply
- Flower7
  
  +1 y
  Yes, it’s very hard to completely cut a family member out of your life, no matter how badly they are behaving.
  
  Reply
- andy530
  
  +1 y
  Yeah especially because even if you make the decision to cut them off other family members may not and may keep bringing them up to you or trying to mend the relationship for you.
  
  Reply
HighValue Follow
Guru Age: 43

+1 y

I cut them out and don't have anything to do with them. Some have since died and I don't care because of the way they behaved in the past.

1

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Wiredone Follow
Guru Age: 56

+1 y
480 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

I stopped talking to my brother 8 years ago when my mother died. I dropped one of my good friends too. I don't need toxic people in my life.

2

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douride2 Follow
Master Age: 47

+1 y
1.7K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

I would attempt to get along with them. If after sometime things didn't change I would cut them lose.

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LegendaryIcon Follow
Yoda Age: 35

+1 y

My grandparents were republicans and voted republican no matter who was on the card. That meant I had to at least try and get along with them my entire life.

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Razp_Sorbet Follow
Yoda Age: 27

+1 y

Cut them out. My entire family has cut out one of my Aunts

1

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GoodGuyBreakingBad Follow
Master Age: 56

+1 y
3.6K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

I'd still try to get along with them but there is ones I had to cut out of my life

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SuccessfulHornDog Follow
Master Age: 37

+1 y
1.1K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

I have cut tiers with family members. The 2016 election sealed their fates

1

0 Reply
ChiPaPa Follow
Guru Age: 33

+1 y

Just because they're blood related, doesn't mean they're worth keeping in touch.

1

0 Reply
ChrisMaster69 Follow
Master Age: 44 , mho 45%

+1 y

I put her in a care home

2

2 Reply
- Flower7
  
  +1 y
  This is an interesting way to deal with it.
  
  Reply
- ChrisMaster69
  
  +1 y
  It was that or walking out of the forest alone…again
  
  Reply
dolemite89 Follow
Yoda Age: 35

+1 y

cut them out, i have a low tolerance for bs like that

1

0 Reply
whiteorchid Follow
Xper 1 Age: 22

+1 y

You may have a second lover or friend, but they will not be your second parents, appreciate them.

1

0 Reply
exitseven Follow
Master Age: 53

+1 y
3K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

I have not talked to my brother for 5 years.

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2 Reply
- Flower7
  
  +1 y
  And do you feel like that was a good decision?
  
  Reply
- exitseven
  
  +1 y
  It was his wife's fault. If he wanted to be a man he would have stood up to her but instead he just went along. It is his loss.
  
  Reply
Agape93 Follow
Master Age: 32

+1 y
2.5K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

I tried, but ultimately cut them

2

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Wise4myage Follow
Master Age: 22

+1 y
3.4K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

I’d try my best to get along with them.

1

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Guardian45 Follow
Guru Age: 50

+1 y

TRY, but past a certain point I CUT THEM OFF!

1

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u
Iron_Man Follow
Master Age: 45

+1 y
4.6K opinions shared on Family & Friends topic.

Get along with them

1

0 Reply
WowwGirl Follow
Guru Age: 35

+1 y

Depends why toxic

1

0 Reply
Lonely888 Follow
Xper 5 Age: 35

+1 y

Both

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Home > Family & Friends > Polls > If you had family members who were toxic, would you still try to get along with them or would you cut them out of your life?