What should I do if everyone I know is toxic, including my family?

Question

This makes me feel very alone in the world. Lately I’ve been isolating myself, just to have more peace, but that makes me very depressed. So I’m not sure how to make things better.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

I kind of grew up in this type of situation maybe not as bad as to what you are going through but it still wasn’t an easy road. I have my reasons as to why I did what I had to do , but I am not going to get into it I would be writing a book lol , So tell me why is your family and friends toxic? I basically focused on myself and worked my ass off and saved as much money as I could to be able to stand on my own 2 feet , I became very independent and content with my life , i didn’t really rely on anyone to take care of me and kind of separated myself from the toxicity. I always was a hard worker , so focusing on myself and work is what helped me get through , I still loved my family but I had to separate myself from them for a very long time and accept things the way they were , you can’t change anyone , it is what it is , I think that’s why I am having a very rough time grieving over my mom , so many unanswered questions , I always loved my Mom and I know she loved me but it’s very hard to explain , let’s just say I felt bad for her. For tolerating what she tolerated with my Dad and my oldest brother , As for my Dad , he was an abusive alcoholic and my oldest brother was a druggie and a piece of shit for the most part , Even though part of me feels like he got the worst from my father then my other brother and I did , He just choose a wrong path in life , My Dad was a very selfish person for a very long time, I never really had a connection with my father, even though at times I tried it was a lost cause , until recently now that my mom and older brother is gone he is starting to reach back out to me maybe realizing how much of an asshole he was , so there are a lot of resentments I hold toward my father that I am trying to let go of that I carried with me for years , I look back now and think of all the shit I went through to get where I am today and all I can say is it did pay off in in the long run I guess , even though I still feel lost at times , My upbringing has taught me to be independent and to focus on myself , I think that’s why I am drawn to an independent girl and turned off to a girl that puts her hand out looking for someone to take care of her , my ex became a hand out girl after she tied the knot with me , she didn’t want to work and expected everyone to take care of her , like she was supposed to be rewarded for the shit she went through in life , I don’t care for people like that, probably why I am still single lol trust me, if I could win the lottery and never have to work again I would be all about it but the chances of that happening are very slim so even though I don’t care for work at times , I still do it , So a relationship to me is team work , if a girl is t going to be my team partner than there is no point in getting into a relationship with her is the way I look at it. It seems everyone today just wants hand outs and doesn't want to work , trying to get my kids to get jobs and work has been a nightmare cuz this world got to a point where a lot of people are just plain out lazy and have no ambition what so ever unless it is given to them , I am scared to see this world after I am gone to be honest , I don’t see a positive future for this world honestly, it’s just going to get worse.

Interstate · Accepted Answer

It is better to feel alone than to be around people who will just bring you down and try and ruin you. It is unfortunate that there are people (especially family) who can turn on their own kind and bring them down to the point that some people want to resort to taking their own life, just because the depression is too overwhelming for them. That isn't to say you would do that.

beernbacon69 · Answer

I've unfortunately had a similar situation with one of my brothers. Borrowed him money more times than I can count, listened to his lies about how all his ex's screwed him over and he did no wrong. I finally realized that he is so self centered and absorbed with himself that no one else really matters. I basically broke off communicating with him at all 5 years ago and it sucks, but it's for my own mental health and well being. I don't know your situation, but toxic people are like a cancer and affect everything and just like cancer sometimes the only answer is to cut them out of your life.

DonkeyDan · Answer

As someone who has a toxic family I can relate to this. I've as good as cut my family out of my life, and only make sure my parents have what they need only out of a sense of obligation. My extended family is OK though and I still get one with a few of them. I'm lucky in the sense that I have good friends and I'm thankful for that. I can't imagine things have been easy with the pandemic and all. I'd suggest when you can to get out and join groups and clubs to make new friends and develop a new support structure around you. I know it sounds scary to consider cutting your family out of your life, but your toxic family is what is holding you back. They are the thing that makes you feel bad about yourself, and as soon as you break free from that you will start to feel more like yourself and your life will change.

Mehzmeh · Answer

It something that can’t be helped. You have to do that sometimes. I did it 13 years ago. And never looked back. My biological egg donors family is toxic as fuck. So I cut them off and moved far away from them. And my life got better. And I grew as a person. Because I was on my own.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Try to do your own thing for a while, If you can odviously.
I sort have the same problem but I isolate myself which I know is not a good idea but I'm able to concentrate more on what I want and what need to do, But it just doesn't help with my Anxiety at all.

InsideBeauty · Answer

I understand what it feels. I isolate myself too eventhought I dont like it. Try to make new friends, good friends. Also, if you are depressed maybe you should go to a psychologist and/or psychiatrits.

t-8900 · Answer

As someone from a screwed up situation similar to your's feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk or vent. No judgements, I've seen it all and been through most.

Stoner710 · Answer

Girl if I had The answers to that we would both be better off, all I can say is have fun and do you and fuck what people want

PeterCharie1991 · Answer

I know how you feel I sometimes feel like I'm surrounded by a toxic family I keep to myself sometimes , do things keep yourself busy victoria :) want talk me bout it dm me too want :) X

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I know all about toxic family and not much I can do, just put my headphones on and listen to music

ChiPaPa · Answer

In that case, it's time to completely uproot your life. New job, new place to live. Cut ties. Sometimes, family is too toxic.

Teaku94 · Answer

Up and leave. Hope you don't have kids so that decision will be much easier to make.

Mangospacho · Answer

If you’re miserable where you are and the people where you are also miserable, move someone else - somewhere you enjoy and with people you enjoy. What do you have to lose?

BillyBalls · Answer

Do an inventory of yourself. List the people you think are toxic and why. Then look in the mirror and ask yourself if you played any role in them being toxic.

Morgador · Answer

You need to remove yourself from that Environment. At this point you have nothing to loose and if you stay there something will happen.

blondfrog · Answer

yeah that really sucks. at least hit not homeless. do you have any friends?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Be intentional about making friends with non-toxic people.

wonderfulstation404 · Answer

Work hard and try traveling the world your eyes will open

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Everyone can't possibly be toxic in your family. Perhaps you're just too picky and anything just gets under your skin too easily.

REDHOTLINE · Answer

Make new friends and partners.

Wise4myage · Answer

Seek professional help?

jasco · Answer

Meet other people that aren’t toxic

LegendaryIcon · Answer

Cut them out

What should I do if everyone I know is toxic, including my family?

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What do I do about toxic family members?

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What do I do about toxic family members?

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