How to do deal with toxic family members?

[Anonymous]

I have a toxic parent who complains , complains, and complains about any and everything she has nothing positive to say about anything. This is from the time she wakes up and goes to bed she finds something to grouch about. I actually called my mother a grouch because she is extremely toxic and negative. I ignore her and the rest of the family who lives with her. The only time we have peace of mind when she is quiet - she creates drama to hear her self talk.

[NerdInDenial]

Don't call her any names or say anything overtly negative. This will fuel her negativity. You have to establish a boundary. Let her know that you love her and enjoy her company, but she cannot complain to you anymore. Unless it's life or death, you are no longer interested in listening to her complaints. If she does complain, you will respectfully hang-up the phone.

[Asker]

She doesn't respect boundaries or my grandmother both of them are toxic. My grandmother and mother are about to lose access to to me and the kids as we're moving.

[NerdInDenial]

Then, you must do what is necessary to protect your own mental health and your children in general.

[Asker]

Yes they all need therapy

[Anonymous]

jesus, i'm dealing with the same thing with a coworker. it gets so fucking exhausting! and she doesn't see a problem with it and doesn't see what she's doing wrong, it's kind of sad. I don't know how she's still married to be honest...

i also deal with a toxic parent on top of that

I don't know your situation, but you need to distance yourself asap. move away! i'm still trying to, so i know how it feels to feel stuck in a rut with someone like that

[Asker]

Me and my kids will be moving next year, but out of state /homestead living. The part their not aware of... they'll probably flip then..

[Changiis07]

Wow it's best to ignore the negative comments. Some people/parents are just negative and cannot see the positives. So best to not let their negative comments get to you. Probably easier said than done I know

[Asker]

It is when she's attacking me.. the constant attacks from her. Yesterday I had to tell her to stfu because it went on and on all morning.. the construction nagged and bytchhing about irrelevant things.

[Asker]

She wakes up with it and goes to bed with it. ..