How to get over my childhood past?

[Anonymous]

I was in grade 5-6. My mom took me on a holiday for a few day without my dad. I was not prepared. She picked up someone and introduced to me and my sister. That’s her boyfriend that she has cheated on my dad. I wouldn’t take it this hard, if my parents divorce. But they’re still together. I have to cope and help her hide her affair. Also my dad he’s a cheater too, with many of his one night stands. It’s been more than 15 years until now, this life of mine still continues like this. It’s hard to cope, it’s hard to pretend, hard to help them lie, hard to witnessing everything. I remember my emotional that day when she introduced her affair to me, I just pretend to be happy for her happiness. Until now I still pretend.

[ChrisMaster69]

Really sorry to read what you put.

you really need to talk to a professional counsellor and go over all this.

sit down with a counsellor and tell them everything and how you feel etc.

also I would really look at moving out of home as soon as viable.

[Asker]

I hope so too, I’m still trying very hard to making my life while managing my weak emotional.

[Asker]

Make a living*

[ChrisMaster69]

Yeah it sucks,
Even without the cheating, it sounds toxic as hell, I would start saving and make getting out a priority,

Also counselling will help and likely give you some options

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I feel a bit better to have say it out here.

[ChrisMaster69]

Some of the best things related to depression, mental health issues in general is giving voice to them,
Simply talking about them, writing them down, accepting that they are a problem and what the issue that problem causes.

When you sit with a counsellor, it’s you telling them everything, opening up with everything, they will actively listen and from experience know what you are saying.

What our parents do has a long last impact on our lives, I know I still feel what I went through.

While not dealing with cheating as such, there is good help online about surviving narcissistic parents. these tend to help you identify issues you have and usually people of ‘oh that’s exactly like me’ or ‘that’s close to how I feel’.

The important bit is not to judge everyone against how your parents are, they are terrible role models.

[Asker]

I will try to open up as much as I can. I’ve been keeping all of this to myself. My emotional state just getting worst. I have no ambition or goal, I don’t want anything that cause my emotional struggling. I don’t want to be side with myself or blame my parents for all of these. I love them very very much. I didn’t graduate, I just skipped school to stay at home for no reason. I wasn’t dumb, I was the top in my class. Until now I have my own child, I have to fight these drama of my life I have to fight my emotional and be better for my kid. I’m unemployed but I own small business make an earnings for some days and some are not. I’m grateful to have you and other people here listening to me without judging me or tell me to grow up. I’m really thankful.

[Cubus]

I'm really sorry to hear it. Sounds awful. You should talk about it with someone you trust.

[Asker]

Yes, I feel better to have tell what I feel here and you’re not judging me or tell me to grow up , or get over it. Thank you so much.

[Cubus]

You're welcome :)

[Cubus]

You can PM if you want. I'm not a therapist, but I will do my best to help you.

[PrettyPriya]

That is terrible that she involved you in her cheating. Especially so on holiday. Have you considered counseling?

[Asker]

I did, I think my parents has took me to one of them even before the introducing affair happening. It’s the same therapist that my dad take his bipolar medicine every month.
For now I still can’t afford that, still trying hard to make a living and healing on my weak emotional.

[PrettyPriya]

Well, I feel just terrible for you. If you ever need to vent or someone to lean on, you can PM me.

I’m a good listener and will try to help any way I can.

[Asker]

Thank you so much, I feel a bit better now to have said what I keep to myself for my whole life.

[PrettyPriya]

You are welcome. I’m glad you feel a bit better. Sometimes good to vent and get it out there. 😊

[PrettyPriya]

Thank you for MHG

[exitseven]

You need to move away from this shitshow.

[Wise4myage]

Therapy could definitely help you.

[Asker]

In my country people think mental health is a joke, only 2-3 therapists here that offer.

[Wise4myage]

What about support groups?

[Asker]

I don’t have who I trust.

[Wise4myage]

Well, there are online support groups too.

[Asker]

Oh, I didn’t know they’re exist. I’m going to google for them now. Thank a lot.

[Wise4myage]

Sure, and good luck.