Could this have been the reason why I grew up with low self esteem?

[pink_and_inlove]

When I was younger I was the chubby kid and I had a best friend that was skinny no matter what she ate. Growing up my grandma used to tell me that Bikinis weren’t for chubby girls and my friend was always praised for her body my grandma always said that she had a body made by the hands of God. I still don’t think that I have a nice body and even when I was skinnier I was uncomfortable wearing bikinis. Sometimes that friend was called cute or pretty but I wasn’t and that used to make me sad. I kind of think this is why I idolize being skinny. My family’s mad irritating though because they always have something to say before they were saying that I had no boobs or butt and now that I have those things I’m “too fat” they for real irritating I feel like weight is just a number I don’t see myself as fat just average.

[Andres77]

i have 2 daughters.
two years apart.
one grew up slim, the other grew up heavier.
they ate the same foods.
genetics. there's little we could do.
at gatherings the older one was favored by the other kids.
the younger could never keep up or was always the first caught because she couldn't run as fast.
i'd see it. i can't fix other people's kids.
so sometimes i'd leave the other adults and just spend time with her watching cartoons.
it still breaks my heart to remember seeing my wonderful soft hearted princess rejected... even if it was by shitty little kids.
no rejection is easy, even rejection by shyt people.
but you have to consider the source.
if a homeless person insulted you in the street it would still not feel good but you have to consider the source. likewise, even if its by people we love, if we're treated poorly we might have to consider that the person treating us poorly is broken and hurting... that doesn't excuse their behavior. or it might mean that they are just not good people, even if they're "supposed to love us". we don't get to choose our family. being surrounded by broken people that lash out and hurt us... it's not our fault. but we have to get past that.

bottom line: you have to love yourself. you ARE worthy of love, even if others say differently.

if you've heard negative things ur whole life that's not easy.
you're going to have to overcome the negative messages of your past.
it's not easy.
i started in GaG last year. just before Thanksgiving last year. i noticed ur posts this year. early, in the spring. i'm white, British and norwegian. my wife is dark colombiana. my kids came out as white as me. they hate it. being white is not acceptable anymore and they love having a dark mom but hate that they look as white as their dad.
i love my wife, i love my kids. i hate that society tells my kids that they aren't "good enough".
you look like i expected my daughters to be. trigueña, with dark curly hair. the idea that my daughters aren't "good enough" really bothers me. i look at you and remember all your posts and to see that some aspect of society tells you that you aren't "good enough"... that really bothers me.

first, it's not true. you pour out ur heart in ur posts (sometimes) and to me you seem like a wonderful young lady, who would make any parent proud.
second, you ARE good enough... your attitude, trying to find a positive way forward and find solutions... THAT is quality. not making excuses like other parasitic aspects of our society does.

i think you'd make any parent proud and that you're worried about base things like appearance just means that you've been tricked into listening to the lies of society and others around you have echoed those lies.

i don't really KNOW you but from what i've read from you... if you were my daughter i'd be proud of you and just as frustrated that some others just can't see the true beauty that lies within you.

true beauty lies within. you, young lady, are a gem.
there are almost 8 BILLION people on this planet... how is it that we can still be UNIQUE? because we CHOOSE to be. we all have value. but if we don't see the value in ourselves we won't shine.
you shine... because you WANT to break free of societal lies... but it's hard.
just keep on doing what you're doing (and less online shopping) and you're going to be fine.

[pink_and_inlove]

Lol thank you. This was a great message :)

[t-8900]

I don't mince words and I tell it like it see it. You're a beautiful woman, no doubt about that. If we were both single and in close proximity I'd have asked for your number a long time ago lol. Cheer up hun you're fine as you are. 😉 Now you wanna talk insecurities I've had a laundry list my whole life. In fact it wasn't until I got angry at others for putting me down that I changed. Why should I feel bad if I'm doing everything I can to look and feel better? I'm putting in my all and that's all one can ask for. I'd that's not good enough for some people then screw em, you don't need them in your life.

[pink_and_inlove]

Now my mom’s saying to not feel bad if the family starts calling me chubby now because I’ve never been this way before

[pink_and_inlove]

I had a way bigger stomach as a kid then I do now 😂

[pink_and_inlove]

Not that I have a big stomach lol

[t-8900]

Even when you showed your old HS pics you were never fat! Not even close!

[t-8900]

again ty for MHO! :D

[loveslongnails]

Of course it has a lot to do with your low self esteem. If you're brought up within that kind of atmosphere, that's how you'll learn to think of yourself. Your grandma sounds like she needed to learn when to keep her mouth shut too. Those are horrible things to say to someone, let alone a granddaughter.

Some people have "enviable" bodies, but most don't. There are things you can do to change and sculpt your body to a point. But keep in mind, it's all only temporary and while its fine to pay attention to your body, it's what is inside you that really counts. Even the people with "perfect bodies" think there's something they'd like to change about themselves.

Don't let your self esteem revolve solely around your body or your appearance. Look as good as you can, as good as you want. Your brain is the biggest sex organ and strongest lasting attraction, not how good you look in a bikini or how big your tits are. If you're shining from the inside, that's what will get noticed by people who matter in your life. Those who can't see it DON'T MATTER !!

[ohshee]

It might have been the start of it but. You just acknowledge it all the reasons why you would feel the way that you feel and since you're an adult you have the choice to turn that right now to change it it's your choice you can either just think about it and not do anything and being happy or you can do something about it change your life where you wanted to be

Understand something when you want a cookie or donut what do you do you go get it

You are where you want to be because if you didn't want to be there you would change it right

It's kind of like your other question with your boyfriend and his underwear he's happy wearing the same underwear are the matching pair of underwear if he wasn't he would change them LOL right it's the same with you if you're unhappy change it if you are truly truly unhappy change it otherwise you are right where you want to be

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, this could be the reason why you grew up with low self-esteem hard to say
I would like to share a heartfelt story well my paternal grand-dad was sick with arthritis, his Heart, etc but my paternal grandma took care of him and she worried about his health but her whole life she weighed 105-111lbs because she had to take care of him
when he passed away and made a new life she slowly gained weight and she started looking really good also she remarried to grand-dad john in 1993 and he gave her the best 5 years then he passed away but he showed her the world something my real grand-dad never could do so some women or girls look good with some weight on
them.

[Andres77]

i'm happy for her, that after so many years of sacrifice for others someone FINALLY showed her her worth. kudos to grand-dad John and your precious grandma.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Andres77 Thanks for your warm words :)

[Hangry06]

It's possible. But commenting on a kid's body that way is just creepy. I was skinny shamed and compared with other girls of my age. Even in my teens, i was convinced i had some hormone or growth issue until i saw girls shorter and smaller than me.
When i got little chubby, i was also fat shamed and compared by my family. It surely affected me the same way as you. So yeah comparison is a bitch

[Wiredone]

Your family traumatized you from a young age. It doesn't seem like they gave you any encouraging words. That is exactly why you have low self esteem. Forget about what they say to you. You are a sweet beautiful woman.

[DaveToo]

This is one of the worst things girls, in particular, are subjected to when younger. Never mind that they grow out of their baby fat and into the size and shape that is right for them.

[Pillarofhell]

Ok. Why not lose weight? Dont tell me that you just have a slow metabolism

[pink_and_inlove]

Lol I’m actually trying I don’t think that I look bad the way I am I don’t look as chubby as I did as a child I had a big belly and stuff but now I’m just curvy nothing extreme though

[Pillarofhell]

Im confused. You wanna be skinny? Or do you wanna be told being "curvy" and an increased risk of miscarriages is somehow sexy? Im on your team if you're trying to be your best self. Im not going to bullshit you and tell you you're already your best self and insecurity serves no purpose, like it isn't there to motivate a change. Thats why the emotion evolved.

[Pillarofhell]

Nvm. I thought you disagreed at first

[Pillarofhell]

I was bullied by my parents too for being skinny. And even my grandma laughed at me. Whatever. Meanwhile all they fed me was ice cream and bad pizza.

[pink_and_inlove]

I think that being skinny looks nice

[Pillarofhell]

So become skinny. And workout. Full body workouts. To build muscle tone. Your a female and won't build giant manly muscles even if you do hard workouts. But your body will get healthier.

[pink_and_inlove]

My body isn’t meant to be skinny lol mg hips are too wide and my thighs are always thick the only thing that gets skinny is my arms lol

[Pillarofhell]

Every female is meant to be around 20% bodyfat. And when you are what you're supposed to be you feel happy.

[Jamie05rhs]

I think you're right! Your grandma was very rude. She shouldn't have said those things in front of you. Some people just have no sense of compassion for others.

[dolemite89]

sounds like you had people just being shitty to you, if ur curvy now tho who cares what they think 🤷‍♂️

[rebeliouse]

@pink_and_inlove
what do u look like now? do u have a pick u can upload

[Julious0202]

I don't know your case but what helped me a lot with my self-esteem was going to the gym

[Julious0202]

not really going to the gym but starting to get strong

[Andres77]

bit by bit,,, happy for you that you broke out of a negative cycle.

[Deku2009]

I think your grandma, abd yiur friend’s attention influenced it I think your body is beautiful Jay

[exitseven]

It could be. I hope you have gotten past it.

[Iron_Man]

Don’t worry everything is great for you now

[EaterPeter]

Yes.

[EaterPeter]

You're a good looking woman and you have great body on the basis of what I can see. Body shaming is pretty common in some parts of the world which lives life time scars on humans brain if not processed properly without or with professional help

[EaterPeter]

May be lots of parts of the world*

[EaterPeter]

There might be no other easy way to keep kids fit and within healthy weight range

[EaterPeter]

which leaves *

[EaterPeter]

And that solution damages kids self esteem badly

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for likes!