i’m dating this one guy and we’ve been on a few dates already but he hasn’t been to my house, i haven’t been to his, and we haven’t met each others parents. how long should i wait until i let him meet my parents? (20 y/o F, 20y/o M) my parents are important to me and involved greatly in my life, i want him to meet them at least once. i just don’t know what is too soon or too late. my parents know about him but i need some advice. how long should i wait?
After how many dates should your S/O meet your parents?
I don't think there is a one size fits answer here. Just something to consider: it will be an anxiety filled experience for whomever is meeting the other's parents. Try to make it as low pressure/casual as possible, like grilling out for a Sunday dinner at their house etc. I was always really comfortable with significant other's parents, and they all (except one) liked me. But I was STILL stressed out when I first met them because I wanted them to like me, and I knew it was important to my girlfriend.
Too soon if you don't know the following: his name, his address, his phone number, his occupation, his goals in life, his goals with your relationship.
Too late if you already have done the following: Picked out an apartment together, moved in with each other, engaged to one another, married to one another, have kids together
So... as you can see this is not date wise at all. It's entirely dependent on actions and how well you know them... not how many times you seen their face.
When you're exclusive. The moment you decide you like each other enough to be serious the introduction to family and friends is essential. It's nerve wracking but the longer it goes on the harder it gets its better to do it like a band aid thing. I think the relationships were you bond with the family in equal amounts as your relationship are healthier because well you're integrating into who that person is as whole person. And that goes both ways.
There ain’t no prescription for it. I probably wouldn’t need (or even want) to meet her parents right away, but after a few dates, when you’ve established that there is definite interested and future potential, go for it. Or don’t. It’ll happen when it happens.
Depending on how comfortable you feel about that. My frist guy never got to meet my family and he was in my life for kinda 3 years (on-off tho) And like my ex, well we were first friends and it has been 3 years into our friendship that he got to meet my family and a year after that we started our relationship.
Nothing worse than taking a guy home to meet the family, then a year later, taking another guy home and everyone thinks he is the same one or they start to wonder, what happened to the other one.
Its got to get pretty serious. I am also very close to my family so I understand.
I don't know I’ve dated my boyfriend one year but we still don’t meet parents. I get confused as I see couples date onto few months then meet parents then soon they breakup. Or they meet parents and fmaily ask super serious Questions as if they’ve getting married when they aren’t yet. I never understood why girls being so many guys easily home like nothing. It don’t look good bring so many bfs home and it don’t work out.
One of my ex, I met her parents on our first date. She was dropped off to the place, and I greeted them. I also escorted her back home, and met them again.
Another ex, I never met her parents. lol
Another ex, we went for like months before meeting with her parents - mostly due to schedule.
Has he mentioned you meeting his family? has he mentioned wanting to meet your family?
Any guy I've dated had already met my family (well my aunts) because I would always go out to jazz lounges, line dancing, gyms, and comedy clubs with my aunts. And I'd end up meeting these guys in these places and they've usually always loved my aunts so then I'd bring them around. It was more natural that way and not a rush rush I'm trying to get married type behavior
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Asker
+1 y
we talked about it, like “my mom would love you” or “when you meet my parents.” there just wasn’t any specific details of when. my last boyfriend, he met my parents on the first date because i was just 17 lol, so they wanted to know who he was and where we were going. but since im an adult now, we both kinda want to wait a bit.. but not exactly sure when. we’re not really “serious” yet, but we both are the exclusive-dating type of people, if that makes sense
neither of us are asking to meet. we just mention that we will meet them eventually but im wondering when would be a decent time to meet each others parents..
Ok so since you keep going in circles this tells me this was your idea. If he hasn't offered you to meet his family nor taken you around them then he's not thinking about you in that way. Sounds like you're trying to rush things
girl all i said was that we talk about meeting each other’s parents eventually but we never planned it. neither of us asked each other to meet them yet BUT i am wondering asking people when they think the right time is. no one is rushing, i just needed input and people’s opinions. it is only the first few dates so the parents involvement is low right now… thanks for your opinion i guess 🤷♀️
I've gathered that you live with your parents. Is he also living with his parents? Have you been to his? Also, guessing you haven't been having sex. It's very situational. Can only speak for myself, but in that scenario, meeting parents is weirdly linked to having sex due to living situations. As a man not living at home, dates are hard to quantify, but seeing the prospective other a handful of times is usually sufficient.
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Asker
+1 y
he lives on a military base, but off base yes he lives with his parents. i haven’t been to his house or met his parents yet. we haven’t had sex either. i tried to add a little context in the description. i might just wait a few months or until things get more serious.
From the context (thanks for that), I’d say let him meet your parents. If I were you (from what you’ve relayed), I’d need confirmation and commitment. Hopefully this will show both in him. If not, it will show unsuitability between you both.
that’s what im waiting for, we’re still at the point where it’s kinda casual and just going on dates, but once it gets to the point where we both are confirmed exclusive and committed, i will talk to him about meeting my parents. thank you so much
It depends on the situation. If his/her parents live in another country or on the other side of the country then it wouldn’t make sense to meet after just a couple of dates but if they’re nearby then you could meet as soon as a month after dating. Otherwise it could take up to a year to meet them.
I don’t think there’s a set time or number of dates. Do what feels comfortable and when you want your parents involved in your relationship. For me it was 6 months when we knew we were headed for something long term
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
whenever you feel ready. my last ex let me meet his parents on our third date. it was too soon for me but i realized he's super close to his parents and tells them about the girls he dates. meanwhile we lasted four months and i didn't let him meet mine. it bothered him but he respected the fact that i wasn't ready. this is because i am not close with my parents like he is with his- i dont tell them a single thing about my dating life.
That depends on the relationship with the parents, the closer they are the earlier that will happen. So it's also an age thing, the older you are the more you will have grown apart from your parents.
I think I met my fiance's people on the third date but our second date was a vacation together so that's a special situation. Under normal conditions, I think that anytime up to a year is normal and acceptable.
Dates don't matter. What's important is the quality time spent and how comfortable you both are around one another. It's even better to have a discussion first before the both of you make that step
