Why do parents care what their adult children do?

[Anonymous]

I’m 25 years old, and live at home.. and I still get lectured about going out. I work, I pay my parents rent, I go to school.. I stay home half the time.. yet if I want to go out, I feel like I need to explain myself. I get accused of being promiscuous whenever I want to hang out with guys. I currently don’t have a boyfriend, I dumped him. I was in a year and a half long relationship, and I still get accused of not knowing how to be around guys. 😂 I mean for Christ sakes what does it matter if I want hook up with a guy? (I don’t but even if I wanted to.. who cares?) I’m 25 and single. Hell I haven’t hooked up since I dumped my ex.. 😂

I’m saving up so I can move out at some point, it’s just frustrating. I can’t do anything without my parents having a heart attack.

[Anonymous]

Such is life. My mom actually tried to tell me when I was 25 and flew in for the holidays to visit her, that I should not go out by myself. The reality is I lived a thousand miles away, by myself, in a 10x more dangerous city and went out by myself all the time, so this literally made no sense. My dad thankfully talked her off her overprotective ledge, but it was still funny that when I came back in for the night, she was waiting up for me.

I know you don't feel it right now, and you're justifiably frustrated because you are an adult, but it's just love and them wanting to hold on to their baby for as long as possible. It's hard to understand that if you're not a parent yet, but that need to protect never dies whether their 5, 15, 25, or 50.

Aside from the eventual moving out eventually, try in a calm "treat me like the adult I am" voice, talking to them about what they are really worried about when they are helicopter parenting you. LISTEN to what they say they are fearing with you going out and doing your thing and let them know your real situation and ask them to trust that the daughter they raised as well as they did isn't going to do whatever they fear. Literally pull out a pie chart and graphs illustrating everything you are doing right, lol, and after all that, if nothing changes, get a second job, work even harder, and move out faster rather than later.

[Beautyforeverybody]

That sounds toxic. I feel like it’s the best if you move out. I don’t know where you live currently but I am aware that rent is quite expensive in many cities so maybe you can find a flatmate and share your expenses with them.

[Vikkrram]

Look i am 24 , I am having my own business ( Basically my father's not mine ) but due to my father bad health i am looking into it. I am just trying hard to make my business grow.

I don't have friends , never had Girlfriends coz of my shy and Introvert behaviour , even i liked a girl but can't confess her... I just do my work and return back home, No socialising , No outgoing... I know my life is bore as hell 😅.

But ya that's also a way of living.

[qwert1234]

Talk to them about it. My parents were religious and overprotective back then (culturally) - then I talked to them about how can I learn if they keep holding my hand.
Then I showed them how responsible I can be.

After that, 90% of the questions stopped. There's the usual worry if I come home late, which is normal for any parent I guess.

Hope you all could sort this out.

[Asker]

I told my mom after she lectured about going out, I said “at least I told fucking you what I was doing. You’re always getting on my case about “talking to you,” well I just did. I send my location, I’ve put her on FaceTime to see who I’m with.. nah never happy.

Fuck it I just started doing stuff without telling her, then I tell her after I already did it. 😂 Damn if I tell her damn if I don’t. 🤣

[rosemilk]

that's probably because you're a MALE.

[Dinklex3]

Because you're their child.
They aren't going to just stop caring about you once you turn into an adult. Just like you haven't stopped caring about them and continue to be with them.

[exitseven]

My kids are all grown but I still worry about them and care about them. They will always be my kids. However , I do not barge into their lives and let them live their own lives.

[Anonymous]

because they're dependent and their actual lives are boring as fuck so they have to get involved in yours, maybe to feel young again. also, once they have control it's very hard to let go of that control. they love the power.

[Hangry06]

You would probably do the same if you're in their place

[TheFlak38]

notice how every time a woman complains about getting lectured by her parents it's always about her right to be whore.

[Anonymous]

I feel you and I just turned 20… luckily I’m moving out really soon. I hope things get better for you ❣️

[888theGreat]

Would you rather they didn't give a shit? You would be here complaining about they didn't care.

[Anonymous]

Girlll I feel the same! We are just kinda unlucky to have overprotective parents🙄

[Raidernation01]

Wow what a spoiled entitled brat.

[jahaims]

Because you love at home

[In_Trance]

You're still and always will be their baby

[noohair]

You will always be daddies little girl.

[PeterSmith1983]

Because they care