Do Parents these days not get that every decision THEY make doesn't just affect them and their life but also that of their child/children?

Question

This question sparked by the chick at work that's been crying at work🙄 that's married but fucking (yes, literally) with a co-worker. Husband divorcing her, trying to get full custody of their child (hope he does). No sex is worth destroying not only your marriage but the family your child needs...

Side note: did I call it or what, this the chick and co -worker that sparked this question,:

Would you be okay with your SO getting/giving massages from/to coworkers of the opposite sex at work?

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

Parents, for the most part, focus on their convenience and their agenda. They often feel overwhelmed by all the demands on their life, so they choose what is quickest and easiest for them, without considering long-term impact on their kids. It's easier to just give kids the answer or tell them what to do rather than help them discover the answer or determine what to do.

Commonly, parents use fear to control their kids. I remember my son telling me he could fly if he flapped his arms like a bird. Typically, parents respond to this by saying, "Don't even try... you'll just hurt yourself." My response to my son was, "That's interesting. I wonder how it works? Let's experiment." I didn't tell him to go off and do it on his own. I was willing to be with him as he explored and discovered.

Most parents believe it is their responsibility to teach their kids right from wrong and guide them through life. No, it is their responsibility to help their kids discover how options impact everyone and the results and how to choose what makes sense to them. Ideally, we want them to believe in themselves and their ability to process information and come up with logical conclusions. It is up to the parents to help the kids discover themselves rather than just follow in the parent's footsteps or become what the parent failed to become. It's not about living vicariously through the kids, but about providing them a stable basis upon which to grow and an effective role model. Always ask how your choices now will help them to become healthy, productive, confident and worthwhile adults rather than control their immediate behavior so others don't judge you harshly as a parent.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

True. When you have kids, they come first. They become what you were born to do. You job is to raise them to be good, healthy, successful adults. Example is the primary way to teach kids.
People who aren't prepared to dedicate their lives to their children shouldn't have any.
That's why I chose not to.

Emiliamazing · Accepted Answer

This brought me to tears. I'm traveling right now, and this made me miss them all so much. I remember your post about the massages, and it would appear that I even commented on it. Your post made me think about all the times that my temper flares or his temper flares, but we always try to work through it and apologize when we need to. Thanks for this wonderful reminder. I think we'll need it from time to time. Sometimes it's good to hear it from someone you really don't know.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

Eh while it is true that everything effects the kids in some way. I still think parents are people too and deserve to live their lives how they want to.

With the situation your talking about it will probably be better that those parents divorce since their was cheating happening. Someone was obviously unhappy in that relationship. The kid will end up in a happier environment with the parents being split regardless of who gets custody.

kylee2437 · Answer

I think it’s super sad that for many situations having kids doesn’t change people.

Guy13 · Answer

I hear you. It’s like kids raising child 🤷🏻‍♂️

MzAsh · Answer

Just another person who wasn’t ready for marriage or motherhood, like most.

SoIcyGang · Answer

Most people don't know how to raise kids. Yet, I am pretty sure there is plenty of science and psychology that could help people do a much better job.

But we refuse to teach it in schools. The right wingers say "that needs to be taught at home" and the left wingers deny that anyone needs to learn anything, and that the system we live in is corrupt and must be changed.

Like come on, let's teach our kids how to raise kids. Let's teach them finance. Let's teach kids how to live. Like wtf.

Surely · Answer

It is a shame that some of the best couples can’t have children. But some of the couples that shouldn’t reproduce. Can have a litter of kids and not take care of them!
People seem to forget that it is their right to have as many children as they want. But along with that right, is the responsibility to properly raise their child. Put a roof over their heads. Feed and clothe them. Educate and teach them responsibilities to grow up and be a great person!

exitseven · Answer

Yes, being a parent can be terrifying at time. My son needed surgery when he was 18 months old. I had to make the decision to have it done. If there was a bad outcome it would have been my fault.

letuswaltzforthedead · Answer

Yeah, many people sont understand the consequences of their actions, let alone how those consequences can include the destruction of their families. Plus, divorce seems like it's now taken too lightly, as if being a single mother was a good thing. In the cases of cheating, I think its preferable for the cheater to get sterilized. We dont need more of that behavior.

MrOracle · Answer

A whole lot of people today are incredibly selfish and have no sense of duty or obligation. And the harm that it can do to children when they are parents is beyond calculation. It's tragic.

dustybiker · Answer

Wondering if she originally became pregnant trying to leash the husband to begin with. Poor choices tend to landslide with some.

Sparkie460 · Answer

Yes I totally understand that. My wife and I always had our children in mind whenever we did anything. I still blame myself for letting the hospital do angioplasty on my newborn child instead of transferring him to a children's hospital.

HighValue · Answer

While working in schools I have seen plenty of bad parents that negatively affect their children's lives. It is pretty common. Cheating, drugs, heavy drinking, etc.

krin_m · Answer

I totally agree. Any decision we take affects people in our life. Sometimes with severe consequences.

Massageman · Answer

Parents of today were raised in a "permissive generation".  We're kind of stuck with the result, until they want to change it.  Perhaps they are too close to the problem.

Msputiton · Answer

This isn't new. My friend's grandfather cheated on his wife with her sister. They had 3 kids. Every generation will have a few bad examples of how life works

NathanDavis · Answer

to be honest... parents have ALWAYS done that it is not a new thing nor of this generation alone... lol

User3191989 · Answer

Lots of people, not just parents forget that every decision they make, affects other people, maybe not EVERY single person on the planet but, it will have a ripple effect

Unit1 · Answer

Totally my case. Ever wonder why i'm such a money obsessed beast, that loves girls very much? 🤪🤪🤪 Take it from me.

loveslongnails · Answer

Parents do not get it. What she did was stupid, and not right, but maybe divorce isn't the only option? Maybe that's worse for the kids right now?

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

We don't have to respect our parents my mom is a bitch !

BLP11520 · Answer

Parents today are scary , not all but some. Some of the names they pick for their kids?

BoobMan · Answer

Wow! You REALLY saw this one coming, huh brains?

oscaramy1060 · Answer

Hi I have a co worker who is cute busty very pretty but is out of my league how do I handle this

Andridaca · Answer

Some do, many don't.

pizzalovershouse · Answer

Some do an some dont

maximumpower · Answer

"These days?"

EaterPeter · Answer

Nope

Anonymous · Answer

You are not a parent so why do you care?

Do Parents these days not get that every decision THEY make doesn't just affect them and their life but also that of their child/children?

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Do Parents these days not get that every decision THEY make doesn't just affect them and their life but also that of their child/children?

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