Would you be okay with your SO getting/giving massages from/to coworkers of the opposite sex at work?

Question

Disclaimers: Before someone thinks this is a personal question, I don't have a SO nor do I ever engage in that while at work. But I have seen others do this, both where I work now and at a previous place of employment and in both instances both the person giving and the person receiving the massage were married...

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't give someone an unsolicited massage. But I have received them before when I had an office job. Unfortunately, none of those included a girl rubbing her boobs against me while massaging my neck. LOL jk

I think a brief neck and shoulder massage is fine as long as it's not sensual or done with some ulterior motive. Some people are just thoughtful and comfortable with touching others. And when you sit at a desk all day, it feels wonderful.

I wouldn't mind if someone massaged my wife's shoulders at work. She wouldn't mind of someone did it to me, either. But again, only if it was purely platonic.
The thing is, we trust each other, so we don't have to worry about cheating.

TonyMetal___86 · Accepted Answer

1st of all, you know, everyone knows, the whole world knows and even the E. T knows that my future wife is going to be a housewife, which means that there will be no COworkers 🤣🤣

Anyways, my general opinion about this case is a BIG NO! The man ain't allowed to give a married woman in his workplace a massage and vice versa!

Don't you think that if a man did such thing, the feminists will call it sexual harrassment? 😂😂

If a coworker asks for a massage, than the one who's going to give the massage must be from the same gender.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

Years ago I had a married boss and I was his secretary. I used to give him massages all the time while he was sitting at his desk. The door was always left open. But because my massages felt so darn good, he would start making sounds like he was having sex. So the other employees heard his moaning, and ask that we stop the massages and we did. There was nothing sexual at all between us ever. I knew his wife and I don't think she would have had a problem with it. It would depend on who was giving him massages and how they were interacting when together. He loves, I mean LOVES the women, so it would bother me.

Youryeodongsaeng · Accepted Answer

If my SO was that dense to not notice any flirting and they just gave their coworker a fully clothed massage, and if I know that they won't catch feelings for anyone, then I'd be fine with that. Though, the coworker should know to stay away from someone that aren't theirs. I'll kindly tell them to fuck off.

If my SO wasn't dense and just gave the massage out of sympathy or just to do it, I am fine with it; especially if I know that they don't want to leave me. If I don't know this, then my own paranoia will investigate the matter.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

I personally wouldn’t be okay with it. It’s crossing boundaries for my partner and I.

Desconhecida · Answer

Never! That's even inappropriate!

WonderBell99 · Answer

This is my opinion and mine alone - people have different views and it’s okay.

I would be okay with my SO getting a massage, a NON SEXUAL one at that at his workplace, provided he consented to it. If he refused and that person kept touching him, that would be sexual harassment and he should report them to the HR department.

It’s just a massage. What if he wanted to go to a spa and get a massage there? Is that unacceptable as well? massage is massage irrespective of the place they’re getting it in. I can handle my SO getting a massage someone from the opposite sex that isn’t me. I’m neither insecure nor controlling. I believe it would only raise a problem IF the massage gets sexual or flirty.

CheeseMonster · Answer

Shoulder rubs? If they're both comfortable with it. Personally I wouldn't be comfortable with it; physical touch is NOT my love language. But if he's a touchy-feely person and does shoulder rubs at work, okay. I wouldn't mind that any more than I'd mind him hugging other people. A good hug feels a lot more intimate than shoulder rubs anyway.

Lionman95 · Answer

No because I don´t think neck or shoulder massages shouldn´t given or accepted in the work place.
That´s the beginning of cheating in my view. It never happened me but that would be a warning flag if I was in a relationship and a female colleague offered me a massage.

Kiss_Me · Answer

Yes, for two reasons.
1. When you are in a committed relationship, placing your hands on another person of the opposite sex is wrong. Granted it could be an innocent massage, but there is WAY too much room for doubt.
2. There is ZERO room for favorites in the workplace, even if it IS your significant other. Everyone wants and gets a massage, or no one does. There is NO PLACE for massages of co-workers in a professional environment.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

If she giving massages, and I found out, shit we done. If someone putting their hands on my SO, she's an adult, I'll let her handle it first and see what she does. If she doesn't report it, I'll know I've given her too much responsibility and that's where I come in.

CharlieDMX · Answer

No. Massages are boundary blurrers. You allow them to touch his/her neck and there's nothing holding them back to make the massages more intimate...

If my SO wanted a massage, I'll do it myself or pay a pro masseur/masseuse to do it knowing that no boundary will ever be crossed

dovendyret · Answer

Yes, we both have co-workers who have taken courses in it, both happen to be women, which we take advantage off. I've a coworker who's a man - he's taking neuro pedagogy, which includes pressure massage; I'm his best guinea pig, today his girlfriend watched him do his magic on me & I've told my husband he must take that course if possible when he's done with his degree. 😅

oralmajiq · Answer

I'm sorry but I'd have to vote NAE, for the simple fact that if I'm respecting her in situation I would appreciate if she did the same I feel like dealing it's common courtesy to the next and should strengthen a relationship and show compassionate loyalty that you have for one another

t_time · Answer

I definitely wouldn't be okay with it. Unless it was a one-off thing and this person was like a registered massage therapist or something. And I knew the person. But if it was just some random co-worker giving my boyfriend a massage I would not be okay with it

DarkCarousel · Answer

Seems like something HR would intervene on. Also, depending on the job level/rankings, etc, it could present as an inappropriate “relationship” between employees. Unfortunately or fortunately, perception is big here. I think HR might step in at some point. Anyway, that’s not what you asked though.
I absolutely would NOT be okay with this with respect to my relationship.

The1Girl · Answer

I'd be pissed if I found out my boyfriend was doing this to someone, or they were doing it to him. It's just inappropriate and weird, why do you need to be given a massage at work? Go to a fucking masseuse.

skytatoe · Answer

You ever given those kind of quick massages to a friend, it's not a really massage but you just grab their shoulders rub it once or twice while you're saying something.
I dunno if you can picture what I mean, but its got no sexual vibe to it whatsoever and it's not a real full on massage.

That's fine.

But a full blown massage? That's not really appropriate.

Bluemax · Answer

My wife would not be ok with it, therefore I would not be ok with it either.  There's something inappropriate about giving and receiving massages at work. Not very professional.

idkwhatsreal · Answer

Are they a masseuse?  If not then. no seems inappropriate for anyone to be giving or receiving massages at work. Unless they work in a spa or whatever massage parlor…

dustybiker · Answer

No. There are professional boundaries and that crosses it. It’s up there with helping to remove spilt lunch from a mans crotch area. Tacky.

annabananna · Answer

That sounds unprofessional and like he is looking for some kind of sexual harassment in the workplace problem. If you need a massage go to a professional.

Zenit93 · Answer

Absolutely not. What an unprofessional look. That’s pretty disrespectful to the marriage as well. That’s just so trashy to me. If I saw a married man or woman doing that in the work place, I’d lose all respect for them. I’d also tell them in front of everyone that this is awkward, makes everyone uncomfortable, and to stop.

Den1971 · Answer

Getting massage at work by anybody at any time it's very unprofessional and the person that's probably getting that massage at work that's probably the laziest bastard in the building here we go again 🤣🤔

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Mmm maybe. But even if I didn’t say anything I’d be instinctively jealous.

Apulu_3 · Answer

Eh do they come to work for working or massage? It is definitely inappropriate and disrespectful.

Emiliamazing · Answer

I would not be cool with that. I think that should be something reserved for couples, not flirtatious coworkers. I have a feeling those who have a same sex partner or spouse might be a little uncomfortable with the situation as well

JosyJosy · Answer

If she's giving him a massage, biting her lip, no. If it's just for the sake of a massage, sure no problem

douride2 · Answer

I think doing that at work would be considered crossing the line of work ethics wouldn't it. I know people that have got called out for doing less then that.

Preston_Tatum · Answer

Honestly, it simply depends. If I trusted her and I knew it was about work; cool. If she’s being deflective, secretive, doesn’t openly introduce me, “work party/family event” then we have a problem. Depends on the guy I guess

Dinklex3 · Answer

My stance is a bit different because I'm also an LMT.
I wouldn't mind, since i don't see it as something sensual. I'd be lying if I said I haven't worked on a few coworkers shoulders before during break.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

If I had a wife who did that I would be up in arms over it but would like to sit down and talk things over with her.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Um, pretty sure something is going on there because thats not normal. And once things go bad, just watch the HR fallout, the he said she said drama and at least one of them quitting their job...

AvaOneLasTime · Answer

That would raise my suspicions.  Unless she or he works as massager

Anonymous · Answer

Ummm unless your an exotic dancer or a massage therapist lol I don’t think it’s appropriate, unless of course your SO thinks it’s okay and knows. Normally when you have the desire to please someone physically it implies you may be slightly attracted to them at the least.

Chris_u006 · Answer

As long as clothes are still on from the bottom up, I have no problem with that at all. Not everything has to end in a "happy ending".

DanaeAdam5 · Answer

It really depends on who the person who is giving them the massage is.  I would find it a bit questionable tbh and definitely make sure to keep a closer eye on that colleague.

Massageman · Answer

I'm a Massage Therapist. I've been giving and getting massages for nearly 30 years, about 3/4 of the time with females. As far as my wife giving massages, her hands poop out after about 2 minutes. yawn

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Something i never want to happen , this is one of them

_memyselfandI · Answer

I don’ t think that’s ok, and I wouldn’t do it nor let an opposite sex co-worker give me a massage; not even if I was single

Anonymous · Answer

It's possible they have an arrangement where this OK. They might even be more stuff than that. But I wouldn't like it if he did this on his own without me there and agreeing to it.

Bricealan · Answer

At first thought, probably would not bother me. Hard to answer, but probably would not bother me, as I am relatively liberal.

nik4play · Answer

Yeh why not, only a massage. We just have a difficulty controlling one part. But with boundaries why not?

AviatorTom · Answer

I don't think that would bother me. It's a professional atmosphere and she wouldn't put up with any hanky-panky

Titanic1912 · Answer

If it’s her occupation, then I wouldn’t mind. If it’s at a different job and she did that, I’d be very concerned about her and the trouble she’ll be in when I confront her.

belle_kai · Answer

Nah, that's crossing a line. Messages yes, massages NO

humanearth · Answer

Hell no, I would be looking for a fight and I know my wife can kick some ass. I seen her in a bar fight. She is badass motherfucker.

JoyGirl · Answer

Leadfoot wouldn’t accept one, anyways. I trust him, if a random chick at work asked to give him one.

the_sinner · Answer

God no. Even if it’s got no link with cheating it still seems inappropriate. Physical contact should only be limited to handshakes and friendly hugs.
I won’t even be in a position to confront my SO about it. I’d be too devastated.

Heartache0405 · Answer

I’d be too skeptical. Which is why I don’t have a SO and don’t plan to

Drumlin2001 · Answer

My OH is a professional massage therapist so does this all the time. It's no big deal.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

I really don't like to give blanket statements so I'll just say my usual "it's a case by case basis" phrase.

OddBeMe · Answer

I think our loyalty is pretty set. I’d ask why but not because of jealously.

Xtendable · Answer

This might be the unpopular opinion, but I have given and received shoulder/neck rubs/massages to and from colleagues. I can say from my perspective that it wasn’t sexual, and partners have been aware

Phoax · Answer

I would say no. But if the job included pushing the muscles to the limits I could see it as legitimately helping your coworkers with their job. Something like a sport or olympic event type job. Office worker massage like the picture, hard no.
I thought of another exception. If she was strategically using her sexuality to climb the corporate ladder so she could buy me a boat for my birthday. Then yes haha.

SamIam96 · Answer

You mentioned that they're all married, implying there's more going on than what you see on the surface.

Fuentes · Answer

Lol i had a supervisor who did this for me at my old call center, but if she WAS my girlfriend hell no it would not be ok

Anonymous · Answer

No, I'm not okay with another woman touching my guy.

Amy10223 · Answer

No. Work is work, not a massage parlor.

sissyalexa · Answer

I think I'd be OK with it 😊

EmmaMary · Answer

No absolutely not... Period.

Bethany22 · Answer

Not really. Although it depends on the ages of those co-workers. If they were much older women I wouldn't care

KarinMcDonald · Answer

I certainly wouldn't want my husband giving a massage to a woman where he works. I get very jealous when I feel our relationship is threatened.

Neilbud · Answer

If it's a professional. We use to have students come from the local college and get some experience.

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