Do you think kids have responsibility to take care of their parents when whey are old?

Question

Raphaëlle · Accepted Answer

I don't think they should feel pressured to do it. It's a lot to take care of another person full time. It can mentally exhausted you and it's completely fine to get help from professionals instead if that's better for everyone.

Have seen and heard both cases when elders live at home and their children visit them because they have a good relationship. But also seen the other way around when children never visit their elderly mum/dad because their relationship is close to zero.

emeraldsaphire · Accepted Answer

No, they didn't ask to be born. That was forced onto them. Though I think if you are good parents it's very likely your kids will help out.

WhiteSteve · Answer

I suppose it depends on the way your parents were to you. But unless they were truly a terrible, abusive, neglectful parent, I’d say the right thing to do for the people who brought you into the world is to be helped out on their way out of the world by you.

That’s my situation now. My mom died six years ago, so it’s just my disabled 92 (almost 93!🙏🤞🤞) year old dad trying to hack it through the 18th hole of life’s golf course. It comes with many benefits, but also is a tremendous burden at times, and had to pull me away from my girlfriend, who is also effectively disabled (hopefully just temporarily), leaving her two hours away from me to be cared for by her mother (who just started treatment for breast cancer two days ago…. just getting hit from all angles😮‍💨)…. its very disruptive to living a normal life for someone my age. I can’t even have a job right now (which is awesome in a lot of ways, lmao, but I also can’t actively make money). This is where having a kid late in life can bite the kid later in their life. I should be dealing with this at 65 and just being like “mannnnnn, I JUST retired, and now I have this on my plate!” Dealing with it at 45 is very challenging, and if I were in a less comfortable situation already, it’d be near-impossible.

So…. its a lot, haha. But everything I’ve ever had and ever will have is directly or indirectly because of him, and he was a great dad to me growing up. I owe him this. And I’m happy to do it, however frustrating it can be. Plus I get to hang out with my dad everyday now, for five years running, which is a lot better than just seeing him on holidays and maybe one other visit during the year, then getting a phone call one day that he’s gone. I saw the comedian Aziz Ansari a few years ago, and he talked about his parents aging, how he only gets to visit a couple times a year, and he said “it hit me, like…. DAMN. I only have like 20 hang-outs left with my parents.” So I always think about that. At his age, even living with him, I never know if we have 20 hang-outs left. But thanks to caring for him in his old age, I’ve gotten an extra thousand or so, and I’ll always be grateful for that🙏

ohsheeT · Answer

The kids are probably pretty grown up by then I mean I just took care of my mom for the last past 4 years

And I never thought in a million years I was going to have to do that

And it was the hardest job that I've ever had to do in my life I mean the hardest and I can do anything I can build anything I can do everything

This was the hardest he had Alzheimer's dimension and at least she was nice though most times people that have that get really mean and she didn't get mean at all

But it should have been my sister doing it not me that whatever it's over with now so

Yes by the time that their parents are going to be needing somebody to take care of them the kids should be grown and hopefully mature and hopefully prepared

I wasn't prepared at all and I couldn't make the money that I was used to making and then the very last 18 months I didn't work at all and I burned right through my checking my savings I had just about burnt through it even before then and I just got done paying what I owed for my house I got lucky there but yeah it was difficult and they need a big bank account that's for sure

I said it was the difficult this job I've ever done but I would probably do it again but only for her I wouldn't do it for my sis I wouldn't do it for anybody really except for her probably

MicahRaine · Answer

It's really sweet when kids take care of their parents, and it can say a lot about the relationship if a child is caring for their parent. That said, there can be a LOT of good reasons not to.

1. You have kids and you have to choose between parenting your child and caring for your parents.
When my parents were faced with that choice, they chose to care for their parents. I'm not going to get into it, but that choice DESTROYED their relationship with me. You can care for your parents and parent your child properly, but it is EXCEEDINGLY difficult and almost never ends well.

2. Your parents didn't "earn it."
I understand that love is unconditional, but I think it often doesn't actually turn out that way. As someone whose parents have repeatedly failed to "show up" and have taken every opportunity to screw me over, I don't think any child has an inherent responsibility to care for their parents. The parents have to earn it.

Joshua_H_1010011001 · Answer

No.

This is something parents (especially single mothers) should take note of.

Your child will leave you to your own devices if you do a bad job of raising them, they remember.

I will look after my father, because he has looked after me, shown respect and diligence,. Not always perfect, far from it lol. But he has been there more or less when I've needed him and is a reasonable human.

My mother, I haven't spoke to for 7 years, and not because I've ignored her or blocked her, I just haven't called. Always a 1 way relationship with her, and she did an awful job at raising myself and my brother, we don't talk, she's still narcissisticly manipulating him. We will both bear those scares and years of anquish / wasted time not being happy and content for the rest of our lives... She can figure the rest out by her self.

PARENTS TAKE NOTE, kids remember thier early years, teenage years and 20s... And you will be judged.

molonski2 · Answer

In Asian culture certainly yes , a vital part of community here..

In the West things are more difficult however , and its important for older people to be respective of their children and not be a burden , I'm older , I have 2 daughters , I'm very fit , I dont want them looking after me , I want them to live their lives , and I will live mine.

The problem here , is some ( not all ) local people age quickly and at my age , many of them are in trouble , thats difficult for the kids. Went right though this topic with an Asian doctor living in US , and its actually virtually impossible for the children to meet their commitments.

I'm sorry , I'm answering the question in round about manner , but I think we play a role , and my answer is a little grey rather than black/ white.

Garud · Answer

If the parents have done a good job they know that they will not have any tension from their children in their old age.
Do the (couple - one man and one woman) parents understand their responsibility to have enough money, assets, emotional maturity and a good relationship with each other to give their children a better life? Very little.
My answer is, no, children have no responsibility towards their parents and if they get good care then those children will do it on their own

LiamS95 · Answer

Well I look after my mom for 4 years before she passed, after she got Alzheimers. All I could think about was how good she cared for me while growing up and the sacrifices she made to give me the best possible life that she could, so of course I felt she deserved being cared for when she reverted to becoming child like due to that debilitating disease. The optional long term care facilities don't have the funding or staff to care for her the way I did and the city pitched in and gave me a personal care giver for one hour every day which helped immensely.

MrOracle · Answer

If they took care of you when you were a child, then you should take care of them as an adult.

If they were genuinely abusive or abandoned you, then in my opinion you don't have any obligation to them.

Raaj4you · Answer

Yes, we should take the responsibility to take care of our parents when they grow old. If you don't take care of your parents then nobody will take care of your parents. It's our duty take care of our parents bcoz they raised us. Now it's our turn to return the favor.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

That depends on the parent-child relationship. If you leave abusive, elderly parents to the care of their victim children, the elder abuse in that home will skyrocket to places you would wish it had never gone.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

Responsibility and capability aren't the same things. I won't place a bet. Also: it would of course be nice to receive some helpful attention, but my kids have their own lives, too.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

I think it’s the right and kind thing to do, however I do understand that it’s not always possible. Say they only had one child. And that child ends up having a family of their own… it would be very taxing for them.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Responsibility? No. But if their parents took care of them when they were kids, it would nice to return the favor. People shouldn't need societal obligations to do nice things for others.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. If the parents want that then they best earn it

Den1971 · Answer

Yes I do My mom just passed away on February 27th of this year and I took care of her for 10 years I owe that to her for making me the person that I am if you don't take care of them that end up in a nursing home and those people really don't care

slatyb · Answer

No, I don't. I hope they will feel close enough to care about me, but I would never feel they are obliged to support me.

Iron_Man · Answer

Absolutely why stick them in a nursing home where they’re being treated horribly and abused in many circumstances by the staff

12karen · Answer

Of course. Should be at least grateful.  They took care of their kids for 20years and even more

exitseven · Answer

My kids will probably stick me in a nursing home and never visit me

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

Yes I do. I love my parents ❤️. I can't imagine not helping

TallAnon · Answer

No, but it's virtuous to do so if they treated you well

BarryLiverstone · Answer

100%. Honor thy parents is a commandment

Gwendoline · Answer

Family take care of each other.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

Yea, it's how it should be tbh

bowenw · Answer

Yes it only seems fair.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Only if their parents were good parents

Graptemys79 · Answer

Yes, their parents have taken care of them.

Pterodon · Answer

Nope. I don’t want my son taking care of me

Sofie01 · Answer

Yes since they did the same for you.

AmeerX · Answer

Yes I do think so.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Yes, you do.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes.

Do you think kids have responsibility to take care of their parents when whey are old?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do people with kids think its their kids responsebility to take care of their parents when they’re older?

Do you think kids have responsibility to take care of their parents when whey are old?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do people with kids think its their kids responsebility to take care of their parents when they’re older?

We're glad to see you liked this post.