If there's a 50/50 chance that the mother will survive the birth, would you ladies still go through with it? Guys, would you want her to?

[DizzyDesii]

I’d still go through with it. I’ve enjoyed life but to give another life would make me just as happy. I do worry about where the kid would end up though. I want to make sure they’re cared for by a loved one if i didn't make it out alive. But i’d pray I did. I’d take the chance. I would. I recall my ex saying in a hypothetical conversation that I better abort because we could always make another baby. I flipped him off. Sorry, but motherhood is a sensitive topic for me. And i’ll always choose to have the kid.
#FeelFreeToList #ForTheLoveOfAChild

I would take the chance and still give birth

I would not take the chance

She should take the chance

She should not take the chance

Updates

+1 y

Lol I’m watching Chicago Fire and he’s telling his girl YOU CANNOT GO through WITH THIS. And she's like
media3.giphy.com/.../giphy.gif
Lmao she’s ready to breakup cause everytime she loses a kid, he chooses her. Yea he's a great guy. But motherhood is more important to her. More important than her own husband and his plea. It happens 🤷‍♀️

Updates

+1 y

Normally i’d upvote and downvote but I wanted to stay out of this one. Im just trying to understand everyones perspectives but its obvious by the upvotes and downvotes that a lot of people really can't respect others opinions. I’m holding back in the comments because its not my place to choose what another couple does in this situation. All i can do is choose whats best for my kid. Not myself. Not my dude. My hypothetical child.

[Dinklex3]

I don't want kids anyways, but no.
If I already had a child, then obviously I would give my life.
But to get pregnant and say my survival rate is only 50% if i continue with the pregnancy? No. I cherish my life my mother gave me. Call me "selfish" all you want.

There's no way in hell im doing that to my partner either. wouldn't want the baby being raised by a father who JUST lost the love of his life. That shit can take years to heal and he wouldn't be in the right state of mind to raise a child by himself.
& Doubt he'd want that anyways.
If we really want kids/a family we can try again when I'm healthy enough to survive giving birth.

[Cherry234]

@Dinklex3 You're not selfish for wanting to save your life. Your life is more valuable than the unborn fetus inside of you that isn't conscious. Anyone who actually cares about staying alive would do the same. And I agree that it would be hard on the father to raise the child himself when he lost the love of his life.

[DizzyDesii]

Its not that its selfish. Its your choice. But im talking about a baby where you’re like many months in and the doc says if you give birth you want make it. I personally would still take the risk cause im at peace knowing i gave life although mine was taken. Everyone has their own choice to make

[Apple1996]

1000% would go through with it. My babies deserve life plus that would still leave 50% chance for me to live so seems good enough. Mothers have been known to pull through in situations with worse odds then that. And plus even if I died I know my husband is a good enough dad to care for the baby and our other childern.

[DizzyDesii]

Exactly. Living is at chance and blessing everyday anyways

[Apple1996]

Really disappointed at these answers.. So many people on here hate on abortion then turn around their opinions on a question like this.

[DizzyDesii]

Yep. I just sit back, observe and take mental notes

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I would go with her decision and on how her health is before we would even try to get pregnant I know this girl who's had one child after another and has no love for the guy she's with but he stood beside her thick and thin and her last baby was going to be born without a brain and the doctors told her they saw heart beating but no brain activity and she still wanted to give birth and the baby was born looked perfect and beautiful but it died within an hour of childbirth it could not live without a brain.

[DizzyDesii]

Okay this is heartbreaking

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@DizzyDesii Yes so sad for sure

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks for Most Helpful Guy :)

[LordOfThePines]

No, I wouldn't want her too. She means too much to me to risk such a coin toss, when adoption and surrogacy is a thing. If she dies, I will be alone and an emotional wreck, caring for a child and dreading the day I have to explain why mommy isn't here. I cannot handle that.

[DizzyDesii]

Yoo tell them mommy isn't there because she made the ultimate sacrifice to give you life. Then you tell them that it wasn't a mistake and that she saw them as a blessing

[LordOfThePines]

I would honestly rather have my partner alive with me, and tell our adopted children that they have loving parents now. I understand where your'e coming from, but I personally couldn't do that.

[DizzyDesii]

Its okay we can have different stances

[LordOfThePines]

I agree, have a great day!

[RedStiletto88]

This would be such a horrible situation to be in but I would see if anything can be done to improve the likelihood of both of us surviving including c-section. But if it really came down to my unborn baby or me, I would choose my own survival but I would be devastated for a long time.

[Anonymous]

I don't have a want for kids, and if I got pregnant and that was my change of survival I would surely not go with it.
Besides I am sure I can do good with my life for others, cannot be sure bringing another child to this world will be any good. There are so many kids and just people in general that need help in this world. We, as a species, do not need more kids as is.
In most cases in the western world (not saying for everyone) getting kids is selfish. People want their own little baby with their own genes. Especially women who are less eager to get a donor if there is trouble getting pregnant. Plus they want to be pregnant to feel more connected to the kid instead of adopting.

[DizzyDesii]

I dont mind having a donor or surrogate but a lot of people say they’ll sign away rights and then dont want to. Adoption can be scary for that reason. But i still hope to have at least one biological and one adopted

[lilaccc]

yes i would still go through with it, that will be my last proud to give birth a baby with someone i love.
but sure enough, i'll be guilty to leaving so soon from him.

(but that just "if", for now i don't know bcs i still chose a child-free)

[DizzyDesii]

Very good reasoning though

[TheSpaceGnome]

Option D.

I don't want kids ever, but even if I did want kids and was really excited about being a dad, it's not worth risking my girlfriend/wife's life over.

If she knew it was even a slight chance of her dying from it, and did it anyway, children aside, she would be incompatible with me, because she is more of a risk taker than me.

[DizzyDesii]

Yep maybe

[Dargil]

Here's an actual chart.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_maternal_mortality_ratio
In the USA, it's 19 in 100,000.

[DizzyDesii]

Its just a random scenario

[Dargil]

If it were my wife, I would lean toward going through with it but get her view first.

[Phoenix98]

I wouldn't want to no as much as I want a family it's not worth risking the one I want to have it with.

At the end of the day though it'd be up to her whether we went through with it since she'd be the one at risk.

But I still wouldn't want to risk my future wife like that.

[DizzyDesii]

If she wanted to risk it would you try to convince her otherwise? Its just a gamble

[Phoenix98]

If she truly wanted to try it knowing the risks I guess I'd have to at least let her try.

[Ad_Quid_Orator]

No and what women have to go through when they have to grow through childbirth is why I get so pissed off when people say men had it harder than women because they had to go to war. Girls also had to go through childbirth to continue civilization and before modern medicine there was a 1 in 10 chance of dying in childbirth.

[DizzyDesii]

Both have it hard in different ways.

[ReneD13]

I wouldn't want her too, from a pragmatic view, I love her, I've never met the child, and once we've both healed from the situation we could try again or adopt if we wanted kids. Ultimately though it's her choice with her life being the one at stake

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[SeekerOfBooty]

I wouldn't want my partner to risk their health.
And if they were to pass away, I would put the child up for adoption.

I don't want to take care of a child in that situation, I'm 100% certain that I'd despise it with every inch of my being.

[DizzyDesii]

Wow. But okay

[loveslongnails]

So let me say this another way... there's a flip of the coin chance that she'll die and leave the husband to be a single dad, OR, they could terminate the pregnancy and try again, or adopt a child that would have 2 potentially healthy parents? Hmmm. Don't go through with it.

[RobT312]

I don’t know why I’m creeped out by this but I am because it makes me nervous.
I lean towards having her risk it because chances are still good, but wouldn’t want a life lost for one that hasn’t even started

[DizzyDesii]

Well even if one life is lost, another is found. But maybe they’d both live

[RobT312]

Yup agree!

[t-8900]

I would do whatever she wished. If something happened to her, I'd be inconsolable for a long time though. Even then I'd probably always be questioning that decision.

[DizzyDesii]

Well dont love your kid less though for a choice the mom made

[t-8900]

never, ever would I love them less. But I would need my dad to help me raise the kid for the first week or two while I'm in my deepest time of mourning.

[DizzyDesii]

That's extremely understandable

[Cherry234]

Absolutely not. My life is more important than an unborn fetus.

[DizzyDesii]

I feel my life is more important than someone i barely know in terms of extended fam or a stranger on the street. But for my kid, i’d risk it. can't say the same for spouse, fam and friends tho

[StephBelsten]

Personally I would take the chance, but I have to ask why you have to choose birth at all?

If it's that much of a risk, surely you'd be offered a Caesarean?

[DizzyDesii]

Well thats usually when you’re told you have little chance of surviving. my mom had to do the csection and both she and the baby almost died

[molonski2]

So on the assumption 50/50 chance of her life continuing , and possibly no guarantee for the baby , I do not want her to take the chance on life.

[DizzyDesii]

there's a 100% chance the baby will survive in this case

[molonski2]

Okey , but also 100 % wife survives if she doesn't go ahead? Then Id say dont give birth , if she died you have detest or blame the child.

[DizzyDesii]

Why would you blame the child when the doc warned your wife that the baby will 100% survive but 50/50 chance the mother will not

[molonski2]

Im not saying I would , but at 50/50 , you may have assumed mother would live , and the new born represents her death.

[Drooogie4]

Not a chance.

Not that I want kids anyways, BUT if it's between my life and a fetus? My life 100%.

[DizzyDesii]

Okay

[bigbluey]

I honestly don’t want kids anyway so I wouldn’t go through it

[DizzyDesii]

I hear ya

[Ms_Vanderquack]

So either be dead, or be stuck with a kid? Why the fuck would I want to do that?

[DizzyDesii]

She could possibly live and help raise the kid. And parents are not obligated to raise the kid. Its the right thing to do but many put the kid off on their parents

[Ms_Vanderquack]

You are just making it sound worse, not better.

[Pyrofox]

If it's her plea id do it. But I'd only do it if I had the support of her family and my own. Cause being a single parent if I have to be is really rough.

[Citizenkirk]

I would be concerned about her safety and suggest an abortion if in early term of abortion. I would not want too raise the kid by myself if it puts her in danger of losing her life.

[ohshee]

I love kids but I would want my girlfriend more I would adopt or do something different

[DizzyDesii]

Okay

[ohshee]

Dizzy I see you still want babys. If that happen to you and your guy choose the kid over you. I would hunt him down and smack him 1 time and say WRONG ANSWER. And walk away

[DizzyDesii]

Its the right answer. I’d be hurt but i’d choose the kid over him too

[ohshee]

] we'll see I know it's the right answer because I'm sure that you both had would have talked about it first that's why I don't smack him one time still wrong answer there's so many different ways to have a baby now you wouldn't even have to... carry it

[DizzyDesii]

Im not dating anyone so i haven't discussed this with anyone but one ex. And he chose me. I didn't like that.

[ohshee]

Well if I was the woman having the baby I would get the same thing exact same thing because I see it from her point of view but since I'm not the lady on the guy I would be angry but I would do as you wish and I I hope it would be a little girl but I would probably have to call her hope

[DizzyDesii]

Awww you're gonna make me tear up calling her that

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

A baby can be created any time, but the mother cannot be changed.

[DizzyDesii]

A baby can't exactly be created at anytime but i hear you

[TrueConfection]

A! I would give my life for any one of my children.

[Cubus]

I very much respect you T. C. It's very heart-warming what you say.

[TrueConfection]

@Cubus Thanks Cubus. I can't begin to imagine the scenario the other way around.

[DizzyDesii]

Beautiful

[Cubus]

Still, it would be really brave. Such person would have my long-life admiration.

[TrueConfection]

@Cubus Thank you

[Cubus]

I should thank you.

[Lyndsielee666]

I went through it twice. Probably would again lmfao

[DizzyDesii]

Im glad you survived. But why keep doing it? I’d take the risk once but not repeatedly if i had a successful outcome. I like to gamble but nt that damn much 🤣

[whosnumber1]

I would not go through it again. waiting in the waiting room to watch the birth and death of my children. watching them gasp for air. life is not something to gamble with.

[DizzyDesii]

Im understanding of both of your perspectives because you both lived it

[Lyndsielee666]

@whosnumber1 now who said your baby is dying

[whosnumber1]

babies. twin girls.

[Redstang88]

Absolutely not. I don’t want kids anyway, and if she chose to keep it Imd be absolutely irate if she risked herself in the process

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[jobego]

that's way too big of a risk to let your girl go through with
rather have no kids than losing my girl

[DizzyDesii]

But its your offspring. They’ll have a piece of her in them.

[jobego]

yea that's true lol but if i never know them then i won't miss them
i'd miss my girl

[NYCQuestions1976]

I'm really not sure how to answer this question directly, so I abstain. It's one of those rare life situations that you really don't know what you'd do until you're actually faced with the situation.

[DizzyDesii]

True

[Flower7]

If that was the situation, I feel that adoption would be the best option.

[DizzyDesii]

I understand

[Flower7]

50/50 is a very very big chance of death!!!

[DizzyDesii]

We all gotta die someday. But i personally am okay with dying knowing that i gave someone life in the process. I would just hate to leave behind my baby. I want to grow with them

[NathanDavis]

I would rather we adopt... half a dozen babies, maybe

[DizzyDesii]

Why not the full dozen lol

[NathanDavis]

that would be way too many to chase around... they'll outsmart me as well

[legalboxers]

*watches all the Trumpcucks and fox news /oan / newsmax loose their shit over the question*

[DizzyDesii]

I dont think politics has to do with it.

[Cubus]

I would discuss it with my (future) wife. I believe I can't just decide it for myself. She's taking the ultimate risk.

Also: what you said is very moving Desii. I felt it.

[DizzyDesii]

Would you hold her hand if she wanted to go through with it

[Cubus]

I would. She would need me. If I were a woman in that case I would feel really awful if my husband left me alone.

[DizzyDesii]

I wouldn't think about him in that moment. I’d just pray God’s got me

[Cubus]

It would be better if He didn't got you. It's always better to have a mother.

[DizzyDesii]

I mean that God has me as in allows me another day to be with my kid. Not to take me to heaven sooner lol

[Cubus]

Sorry, I misunderstood you :)

[Hangry06]

Death by birth sounds disappointing. So probably not

[DizzyDesii]

Its certainly not a happy moment

[slatyb]

The true risk of childbirth is not nearly that high but it’s not negligible.

[DizzyDesii]

Yeaa

[imfreeze95]

I am pro life I would say if she already has kids that need her then I would say not to carry the child I should clarify if the mothers life is at stake then I say the child is less of a priority but the mother should not be forced into anything

[VarddaanKaushikk]

I don't know to be honest. I'll be losing 1 of the 2 humans that I love and i don't want to be the one to take that decision , I'll update you when I get more clarity of such situations.

[DizzyDesii]

I understand

[cookiecrusher]

I would tell her not to, but ultimately it's her choice.

We could always make a kid with another woman.

This condition for all women would suck pretty bad.

[DizzyDesii]

It would suck for everyone involved but it can be overcome

[Anonymous]

I will take the chance and give birth, but that’s what csections are for. They give them in situations like this.

[Opinion Owner]

Well maybe they shouldn’t be having kids!

[DizzyDesii]

Who?

[exitseven]

I haven;t been feeling very lucky lately so I would not take the chance.

[DizzyDesii]

What if she wanted to take the gamble. Would you support?

[exitseven]

Yes, I would.

[Anonymous]

If it's before she's pregnant I wouldn't want her to take that chance. If she's already pregnant then it's either 50% a life ends or a 100% chance a life ends by my intervention. I don't want that 100% chance on my conscience.

[DizzyDesii]

I agree. In this scenario she was many months pregnant

[jasco]

Life is about chances, rather you like it or not your gonna have to make a choice that will solely rely on chance

[DizzyDesii]

Very true

[linka_pat307]

I would like and love to give birth to the man I love's child and give a new life before I die

[DizzyDesii]

Exactly, i’d love to give life before i die

[AdithyaR]

Her choice but I wouldn't want her too, too scared of losing her. Better to just adopt.

[DizzyDesii]

I see

[Akumuviral]

Hell na... Don't wanna do it now. That's one of the reasons I never wanted kids

[DizzyDesii]

Okay

[VikingWarLord]

Let the kid die and try to do it again for a new one, why risk all that when it can be done again?

[DizzyDesii]

Ahhh the words of my ex

[KellyKOO]

I would go through with birth. The baby's life is more important than mine.

[DizzyDesii]

I agree

[Rohaan2020]

I would not let her do it... mother is more important

[DizzyDesii]

I dont know if you could stop her though. But who knows

[Staximus]

They have c sections now, that's only an issue if the doctor is a fucking moron

[DizzyDesii]

My mom and sis still almost died from the csection

[imbeingmyself]

She should not take the chance

losing a love one for another love one is sense less according to me

[Cherry234]

@imbeingmyself I agree. It really is senseless.

[DizzyDesii]

It might be senseless bt its not pointless

[imbeingmyself]

@DizzyDesii if so then can you tell whats the point of this?

[DizzyDesii]

I said what i said in and above the update

[Deku2009]

Yeah absolutely I want a new life to
enter this world regardless

[DizzyDesii]

Lovely

[Deku2009]

Do Pray that tge mom would survive toon

[standardguy]

Well in this case I would want us to adopt a young child and forget a biologycal own child.

[khya20]

I would take the chance and give birth. I want kids one day.

[DizzyDesii]

Same

[Jamie05rhs]

I would support her decision.

[DizzyDesii]

One parent is better than none. Plus she may survive

[Jamie05rhs]

@DizzyDesii I think you have a great attitude, and you are a very noble person. I have tremendous respect for you.

[DizzyDesii]

Thank you. Likewise

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks!

[Wiredone]

I missed that episode. I love that show

[DizzyDesii]

Lol yea. Im so behind. My dvr has like 70 eps recorded. Im only on season 7. Sometimes i burnout on it

[whosnumber1]

hell no those are very bad odds

[DizzyDesii]

What if she said she's doing it anyways. Would you convince her otherwise?

[whosnumber1]

to be honest I would have a hard time being with someone who would put the life of our baby at risk with those odds. it's a selfish move. and if the mother doesn't make it and the baby survives then she leaves the child without a mother and I'm a single dad.

[whosnumber1]

I come from a place of experience going through the emotions of my twin girls being given only a 20 percent chance to live so someone who would gamble with life like that told be a big problem for me

[DizzyDesii]

In this case, the baby has a 100% chance to live. The mom has a 50% chance

[whosnumber1]

still. it's selfish. baby has a one in two chance of not having a mom and I being a single dad. there are other more realistic options.

[DizzyDesii]

One parent is better than none. If someone said, if you have a baby, your husband may or may not die. I’d kiss his lips and pray the Lord allows me to keep both. Then i’d give birth

[whosnumber1]

I get the sentiment and the desire but in reality there are better more realistic options. and if the prognosis for the mother was only 50/50 then there would be significant risks for the child. probably less than 50/50. raising children is more than just ones desire to have a baby. it really does take a village to raise a child.

[Agape93]

Hahaha no way

[DizzyDesii]

Would you want your partner to if she wanted kids

[Agape93]

If she wants kids, she can have them if she wants but I won't be there if that's the case. Heartless maybe, but I don't want to be stuck raising or dealing with kids every single day. Not good for my mental health and just in general an awful idea

[DizzyDesii]

Its your choice so thats understandable

[Agape93]

Thanks for the understanding

[Tstrbrainer]

Losing the love of life sucks

[DizzyDesii]

Of course

[emperor90]

I reckon there is a chance as long as u believe

[DizzyDesii]

And pray

[dragoblack]

I would let her choose. It's her life after all

[DizzyDesii]

True

[Mehzmeh]

It’s her choice. But I would say no.

[DizzyDesii]

I understand

[G5TWA1]

I wouldn't want her to, why not just adopt?