Would you ever go out with someone who was your friend for 10+ years?

Question

JustNotherHuman34 · Accepted Answer

I definitely would. See, I’m the kind of person who has to be friends with someone first before pursuing something more. I have to connect with someone on a deep level, and I usually only do that with friends.

I’ve been single for almost 10 years now. I tried dating the traditional way for the first time this past year. It was nice, and the woman I dated was super sweet, but I couldn’t connect with her because of the circumstances of how we met. We met on Facebook Dating and hit it off, which was awesome. However, going on dates with someone I don’t really know is definitely not for me. We had fun, but I was overthinking everything the whole time and taking her out started to feel like a chore to me after couple weeks started going out. That’s because I was learning about her while doing things outside of my comfort zone (I’m a recluse by nature). My awkwardness and social anxiety got the best of me. I broke it off with her after those two weeks.

If I know someone inside and out, then dates are a lot more fun because I know what they like. This information comes out naturally when I’m friends, especially for a long time. I know what makes them happy, their pet peeves, their buttons gifts they’d like, things like they to do, and even how they view the world. Of course I don’t have to know everything about someone before I pursue them, but I can gauge their character by hanging around them for an extended period of time, which I’d only do if I jell with them.

Even though I’ve been single for close to 10 years, I’ve had quite a few friends for whom I’ve had feelings. Though, usually I don’t usually pursue anything until they drop a hint to me that they’re interested, but that’s another story. Personally, I’d love to have a strong bond with someone, but I only get it when I get along with someone outside of a serious relationship or dating. When I love learning about someone and what makes them tick, it makes every minute I spend with them exhilarating.

So, yes, dating a longtime friend like that is right up my alley. Even if it doesn’t work, I’d still have an awesome friend (hopefully) 😌

TruthBringer · Accepted Answer

I've never had a female friend for that long, only male. And even if I did, I wouldn't be friends with someone whom I see romantic potential. So with that being said, if I had a female friend for over 10 years, I wouldn't see myself dating them. It is rare for men and women to be just platonic friends. And many of the comment section here validate that.
Why it’s almost impossible for men and women to be “just friends”

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

I have before, nothing wrong with dating. For me, even if we've never officially dated. It often has felt like we have.

I had a friend who we spent a lot of time together for one summer, well it was more like April to September but we saw each other daily. Hung out daily, went to movies, dinner and driving around. Hikes and other things together. I had a shitty boyfriend at the time who ignored me, treated me poorly but my friend treated me nice and never made a move because I was not available.

He was a perfect gentleman always, even when I invited him into the bathroom while I was showering as he waited me to get ready, he never tried to look in. Even though I would of been okay if he had, just would of teased him about it.

I fell in love with him after knowing him all this time, but I didn't realize it at the time. Not until he got a girlfriend of his own and we stopped spending as much time together, then I missed him and realized how shitty my boyfriend was, but it was too late. He was with his girlfriend and she was jealous and so we stopped hanging out as much.

I had known him since Junior high.

tessarae29 · Accepted Answer

Definitely a possibility. I’m only friends with people whom I can trust. So I would only date someone whom I can trust.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Absolutely! How many people say "I want my boyfriend/girlfriend to be my best friend!"? With someone you don't know, you must establish a great friendship AND a romantic/sexual relationship. If the person is already a great friend, then that is the biggest obstacle already overcome!

Rob70 · Answer

Would and have in the past. It was actually one of the best relationships I’ve had. Even though it didn’t work out long term we had less disagreements and when we did end it it was not bitter by either person. We remain good friends to this day

Anonymous · Answer

Nah. It's been my experience that if you know a woman for more than a few weeks and haven't asked her out you're permanently friend zoned. I've never understood this about women either. It's so illogical. I mean I excepted it long ago. I just don't understand it.

Adam1978 · Answer

No because if it was something there it would have happened much sooner.

qwert1234 · Answer

I have not thought about it. But now that you asked, I've imagined several friends of 10+yrs and me dating... It's like dating my sister. Feels... weird.

Magnum615 · Answer

Yeah, if you've known each other that long, then you know each other on a deeper level than anyone else probably will.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yes. If I hadn't seen them much during that time. But I don't see myself continuing a close relationship with someone for that amount of time without asking them out. 2 years? Maybe. 10 years? No.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Lol 10 plus years i would marry her lol we already spent 10 years we can make a life as well together

whosnumber1 · Answer

I did. we were friends for a long time. always wanted to date her. finally did. dated for a year and broke up. we still talk a couple times a year. we had a good run but she wasn't for me.

Canuck37 · Answer

Absolutely. Long-time friends make the best relationship partners.

exitseven · Answer

Yes, relationships can change over time and so can circumstances.

Blackcupcake · Answer

considering my friendships atm, most definitely NOT lol

zagor · Answer

I don't think that would necessarily be a show-stopper, though personally I don't have anyone who fits that category that I would date.

DiegoO · Answer

Not sure. A 10 years friendship that becomes a romantic relation, never get back to be what it was; worst if a breakup happens.

RebeccaBI2000 · Answer

I would, but would always worry about posting that friendship as well

awkward_author · Answer

Probably not. I would view them as family at that point.

DaveToo · Answer

Absolutely. One quantifier, she has to have a vagina.

AndrésC64 · Answer

I would, but I would be concerned about it ruining the friendship.

aquamarine321 · Answer

I’m not sure, even tho I never had a female friend at all

jahaims · Answer

I wouldn't randomly develop feelings for someone I've known that long.

Anonymous · Answer

She has to check these boxes:

1. Christian
2. Doesn't Smoke
3. Doesn't drink Alcohol
4. Doesn't crew Tobacco.
5. Doesn't do drugs.
6. She has to be a natural-born girl.
7. She has to love kids and animals.
8. She has to like Ballroom Dancing, Barn Dancing, Baroque Dancing, Folk Dancing &, etc but except for Pole dancing. lol

LivingExample · Answer

Yes, Friendship is the best place to start a Relationship!

Luckycharms12 · Answer

Depending on the person wouldn't want lose good friendships so probably not

pheltersnatch · Answer

Sure. Life has a cruel way of showing us how we seem to be our own worst enemy in the relationship department. Circumstances dictate everything.

IncognitoBandito · Answer

Only if there was a major change in their relationship status.

Daedae10020 · Answer

The better you know them, the better the relationship

That1dude25 · Answer

Personally that's too big of a difference for me

Cherry234 · Answer

Probably not (unless I really like him).

dustybiker · Answer

Yes, if feeling that way.

JoyGirl · Answer

If you are in love with the person, go for it.

boobliker · Answer

no a friend is a friend for life

Mavie123 · Answer

I think I will always see him as a brother

jasco · Answer

no because they don't like me

Mcheal_arson · Answer

That's the best person

Dingdonginmymouth · Answer

Yes I would and. I would’ve fucked too

Tellme · Answer

Yes of course, why not?

legalboxers · Answer

yes because they know you better

altdbob · Answer

Yes I would and there are a couple I wish I could.

joshua4_0 · Answer

Depends

Citizenkirk · Answer

Maybe

SunnyCaliGirl · Answer

Yes love older men

gtnoffzgtnofz · Answer

hell yes

expdude · Answer

Yes, absolutely!

PeterSmith1983 · Answer

Yes!

Rohaan2020 · Answer

yeah... y not

elizamichale1 · Answer

Sure why not

DevinAM · Answer

Maybe.

fireforeffect · Answer

maybe.

lycanthrope3 · Answer

Sure, no problem

Anonymous · Answer

No, probably not.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

That’s gay

Would you ever go out with someone who was your friend for 10+ years?

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