
How you react if your son/daughter told you they didn't feel they were that gender?


I wouldn't get mad at them
I'd probably let them know that I'd love them either way because I would and in the end if that's what they want then I'll go with it I'll bite but I would be skeptical at first at the least.
I'd let my kid know that I love them and that I would like them to take their time on making any decisions preferably like a year or so and if nothing changes then go for it full send but that they should take their time at first because things like this are important and life-changing and you might never get back what you lose.
Then of course you got to comfort them because this is an important time in their life and how you comfort them obviously depends on the person your talking to so I can't give a definitive answer on what I would do
Then after that you go about your life and probably have a few more conversations here and there about it obviously you want to try not to be a little too pushy because that could ruin your relationship or make them uncomfortable you want them to know and feel like they have the choice in the matter and that you're going to love them obviously and if you have an opinion one way or the other for example I'm more against being trans than for it but again it would be my kid I can't not support them if this is what they want so I'll support them either way cuz that's my kid and I will love them I will love them for being my kid and I will love them because I would have been with them their whole life and I've watched them grown and I can't just burn down that bridge
I would be accepting of it, and be proud they admitted it
@KrakenAttackin Not at all
I think transgender people have a mental illness. The answer is therapy not medical mutilation and Shame on these doctors and surgeons performing the surgeries. There’s a high number who get it done and are still unhappy and may even be/still be suicidal, so that right there shows you the problem goes deeper. I’m not here for harassing them or putting them down. They have a serious mental problem and deserve serious help with it. I feel sorry for them. I would get my kid help and still love them. I would struggle with a kid who acted liked/dressed like the opposite gender but I could deal with it, but this nonsense of saying you’re a different gender than they are would not fly. In my house we’re gonna have common sense, what’s in your pants is our indicator of what you are, not how you feel. I hope we could help them and do our part and be there for them, but they may also see me as transphobic for my opinions and me refusing to call them by their preferred pronoun. If that day comes, I’ll either bite my tongue to keep my kid around or feel the way I feel and make it clear and if that’s the end of our relationship, then that’s the end of our relationship, I’m not sure on that part yet.
What you fail to see is that NOT everyone one is born CLEARLY one sex. Some of these (intersexed) babies are surgically modified by doctors who presume the child's sex. (Last I heard, this occurred every 1 in 100 live births). So "what's in your pants" may play NO PART AT ALL in determining gender identity. In addition, you have to consider genetic identity and brain chemistry. Mother Nature tries, but she DOESN'T ALWAYS get it right!
I be happy for them. May take a minute but I'd really wanna know why. No judgement... just give me a good reason why. I set the boundaries of what you can or can't do if they still a kid. But I'll support you the best i can. <3
"Happy for them"? Happy your kid is seriously mentally ill and at a huge risk for suicide? You go mom!
I would not say I'd be happy for them... there isn't any good reason I can think up. Other then the fact they are so insecure about who they really are, that want to pretend to be something they technically aren't and never truly will be. Its just sad to me, and don't think we are doing them any favors by pretending that society will or should respect thier choices.
They're trolling, they're republican idiots
Opinion
37Opinion
I'd ask them what they meant, and we'd have a long talk (probably several, actually) about it. I don't have all the answers, and don't know what the right thing to do in every situation is, but I've heard enough horror stories of kids being pushed into transitioning with social media tales of "this will magically solve all your problems" and "the reasoning you're feeling alienated and socially anxious is because you're trans" (as opposed to "because you're a teenager" or "because many elements of human society, in a word, suck") to have encouraged my theoretical children to be leery of easy answers. Wearing a dress and makeup and asking to be called "she" (or the female equivalent) isn't likely to do any real damage (beyond the social, anyway); major surgical interventions are another story.
I don't know if I'd pull it off, but I'd definitely be the kind of person who AIMS to have his think "I need to call Dad!" rather than "Dad's gonna kill me!" when they get in trouble.
Oh, well. Some people are like that. If it's something they REALLY want and can't live another day without, I'd set them on the path to get it. The first thing they'd have to do is spend a few months to a couple years with a sociologist/psychologist that will evaluate their claim to decide with them that it IS what they need and not just something they want NOW but might change their mind, later. If they so deem it, they''ll give them "the note" that will allow a Dr. of their choosing to do the sex change on them. At that point, it's all down to having the money to pay the Dr..
Pffft, Let them be themselves, maybe it's a phase, or maybe it's not~
Growing up is all about finding oneself and trying everything, who cares?
I'd be supportive and caring no matter what. It ain't that hard.
Besides, gender roles and sexual orientation are totally just societal constructs, individuals are all too often somewhere between the hard and fast lines of labels.
That's another reason I'm glad I don't have kids in this generation. I remember RuPaul and Dennis Rodman was a little strange.. I went to school w/2 gay guys, but gay was just that. Gay. We associated that w/Tommy Hilfiger and GAP. Today it's all over the place.
... what?
I'd think they was stupid cos there's no such thing as mental gender... mental gender is a social construct, and both female and male can feel male or female at times... There's been weeks where I've felt girlie, but that doesn't mean I am a girl... You only are what you are born as.. so it doesn't matter what you feel like you are... It's what you actually are...
For exampleI could feel like a frog... but am I a frog? No I'm human, same for genders... if you're a boy your a boy... Not a girl in a boys body... It doesn't work like that
You're just a bit who likes dick
I would never get mad at my child for this. Coz it's their basic right to choose. It's their choice. If my child would come up with such thing then I would be glad enough to support them. After all there's nothing wrong in these things.
I think parents should be supportive of their children if they aren't doing anything wrong instead of imposing their choices/mindset/way of thinking/decisions.
I would tell them that they can not and should not expect others to accept them in the same way they accept themselves. And that I will always love them, but I fell in love with the person they were born as and I came to know, and will never agree with or love the person they grow into as much as the person I know in my heart they really are.
I would not allow my kid to transition before 18. Period.
I won’t do anything or feel anything. It’s their life. I’ll support and love them just like I did before. No difference. Why would I be happy? Or why would I be sad? If that’s who my kid is, then I will accept him/her and give them all the love.
I would support them no matter what but I’d probably think I f*cked something up.
Why else wouldn’t they feel comfortable in their own skin?
Don’t get me wrong, I have learned a lot about genetics, evolution, psychology and even though I support LGBTQ rights, I feel like having my own child turn into transgender means I failed to raise a child who could compete successfully in the survival race.
You have no reason to blame yourself. So DON'T. It's NOT about you. It's about YOUR CHILD!
Wouldn't be a concern for me, that's how they feel about themselves and they can do what they wish regarding it.
However I am not paying for transitioning, despite what a user before claimed was essentially mandatory or otherwise obligatory for me to do. That's not a moral issue, that's a financial issue.
A lot of people don’t like my opinion on this but I feel like exploring your sexuality should be saved for being an adult, it’s just like the maturity level at 16 isn’t there to be in a serious relationship, I would send them to therapy or counseling tho to talk about their feelings more openly with someone because I may have trouble understanding and that could help me as well, I wouldn’t want them to feel rejected.
talk to them. See why they feel like that and how long they have felt like that I would not say they are being silly , you will grow out of it. They may well do that, but you are there to help. It takes a lot of guts to say to your parents that you are in the wrong gender. The ridicule that you can get is unmeasurable..
Well-said.
I would love them regardless but I would ask them to wait at least 2-3 years with this and I would ask them to watch the growing number of videos on how people regretted having the transition and wanted their gender back.
But if my kid would act like the idiots on tiktok and YouTube, I would distance myself.
i would tell them lots of people are unhappy with themselves and that you just have to learn to like yourself. nobody gets to pick who they are
then i would hunt down the religious fanatics trying to push the church of genderism on my kids because no child comes to that conclusion on their own
gender is a religion. not a science. it requires you to have faith in the assertion that someone is the gender they claim. there is no way to test it
My daughter came at me with this at agev11... she is now 18. At first I was like... so what you're telling me is you want a penis? And that made her mad... she went through a lot of different things over the years following... I've always told her though that none of that even matters... that it shouldn't be a worry for anybody because I felt like that was really an adult decision to be made when she was an adult. I love her NO MATTER what because she is my child.
And what has she decided?
I would be disappointed. God intended marriage to be between one woman and one man. Everything being done now is of choice. Would I still love him/her of course.
Tell they if that is what they want to do it is fine, but on their own time and pay for it themself. As long as they are living with me it ain't gonna happen and they couldn't afford it until they are at least 18 - no, make that 25.
Easier to say than do.
I'd be frustratingly cool with it until I'm convinced they're making the decision for the right reasons.
I think a lot of kids make this decision for reasons that have almost nothing to do with their sexuality.
I'd allow them to dress and look however they want but I wouldn't allow them to be on hormones or get a surgery till they were 18+
i'd hate myself for being a bad mother and try to convince the child one last time to not become trans, and if all my effort is in vain i'm definitely kicking them out.
I would explain to them why their feelings don't matter on what their gender is. I would be disappointed with their lack of scientific knowledge. I would hope that my kids would be more knowledgeable about math and science.
I’d support them investigating their identity, and also find them a therapist that works in the trans-space. There would probably be a lot to unpack.
I would find out who fed them the bullshit that is making them feel that way and put an end to it. I would comfort my child and let them know who they are is amazing and that I love them as they are and I would not change a thing about them.
1. It wouldn't happen because I wouldn't let my kid get influenced by sexual predators known as LGBT or liberals.
But if it did I disown them and kick them out..
If my wife had a problem divorce her and leave the kid and her and start over with a new family
That's a mental illness and I would send them to doctors if the doc and myself can't fix them then abandon them mission failed
I think I'd be confused. I wouldn't be mad, just confused about what I'm supposed to do. I'd try to get some professional advice from psychologists.
Well that's okay. Let's talk about this a little more in the garage where no one will hear our conversation.. Honestly, go out there and succeed. Make your old man proud :) And tell your mom to stop getting on my case all the time!
No, but I would say get back to me when you turn 18 and see if you still feel the same way. I would want to know who they had been talking to to cause them to think like that. These creeps have been known to show up at schools.
God that shit would be so embarrassing. Tell him to man up and find his balls and if he didn't then disown him and try again for a worthy heir to inherit all of the family heirlooms and collected wealth spanning generations.
They are allowed to make whatever decision they want once they turn 18. Not before.
One kid I grew up with knew he was gay when he was 10yo
Maybe earlier
I would worry they were exposed to too much social media and not enough biology.
I dont know, I'd try to be gentle and tell them the truth. But what can I really do? They likely won't be swayed
Be supportive
"Cool, son/daughter. We can sort that out but it's gonna take a lot of work and money, so you have to be realistic here"
I don’t see how getting mad would help, or even be reasonable. I’d just say “ok”, and ask if they need money.
Id tell them to keep that between them and a string of therapists im raising men and women no Nancy boys or bull dikes
How old? I would ask why they think so.
Under 10 I would tell them to think about it some more.
I am a sarcastic person. I would say look in your pant and there you go.
Shocked and think that they’re watching too much television or online stuff
I would take them out to the wood shed and get their mind right.
I would think they have a brain damage... And tell him to go talk to his father.
I would get them psychiatric help, as it is a mental disorder. I would not feed into it, i would see that they got the help they need.
I would ask them if I could do anything, or if they wanted anything and then try to Support them...
I am totally against such things. I'd cure my daughter or son first, if they didn't improve, I would will deprive hhe or she of my inheritance and disowned him.
What a fine mother!
I would support them. They are still my child.
I would be happy about it and support them through out their journey
That would explain a lot
Whaat?
I would feel sad but can understand him/her
Love and support. Nothing else matters.
Mine aren't that dumb.
I would try to help them be the gender they feel.
We’re leaving the city
Id be a happy little ditz either way
OK, cool! Want a surgery?
Be happy either way
Show them their birth certificate
I would be crushed.
I’d be disappointed
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions