Do you get along with your mother well?

[ALewis30]

I love my mom. She's helpful, supportive and the only person who truly understands me.

[WonderBell99]

We don’t exactly have the best relationship and I don’t think it will get better. She is extremely racist and tries to push her beliefs onto me (she’s extremely religious and says I’ll go to hell because i’m skeptical of the concept of religion/God)

My brother moved out because she was too controlling. She screams a lot, beats me with a belt even if I make a silly mistake, gets insecure whenever I talk to my paternal grandparents, and forced me to take sides when she and my dad were fighting.

She feels the need to control everyone and everything. She gets insecure and helpless whenever things don’t go the way she wants. She expects me to hate my dad and his parents (like what in the world?). My maternal grandmother and I have a shitty relationship too. Her asking me to “tolerate” my mum’s abuse doesn’t exactly say much about our relationship. It’s non-existent. It’s a shame because I had a good relationship with her when I was young and naive and wanted to impress her. I had a good relationship with her when I pretended to “hate” and cuss at my dad in front of her. Oh man, my mum’s side is a psycho bunch.

[WonderBell99]

Oh, and not to mention, she’s sexist and psychologically abusive.

She once told me that I looked like a monkey and that I should stop crying too much, especially when she hits/scolds me because apparently, I’m weak. She’s an effing bully, man. We even had a fight today. She always starts crying and tells everyone about the fight and makes me the villain when it was HER who always starts the fights. She antagonizes me to my brother and tries to ruin my relationship with him. It’s hell here.

[skyeee_]

omg im sorry this is happening to you mate- i hope you move out from here asap

[ALewis30]

I'm sorry about your situation. If you want to talk, just let me know.

[WonderBell99]

@skyeee_ Thank you. I can’t move out until I’m around 22-23 though. Not until I complete medical school, at least.

[WonderBell99]

@alewis30 thank you 😊

[Dinklex3]

Yup!
I absolutely adore her and call her everyday.

[HighlyVolatile]

I've not spoken to her since my freshman years in university. She actually disowned me. :-D Maybe I should do something about it.

She's a white American from a rural part of West Virginia right at the boundary between Tennessee and was a devout member of a southern Baptist church that protested and boycotted Disney for hiring homosexuals and with pastors that frequently made racial slurs against black people.

That's not to say all people are like her but she disapproved so strongly of me falling in love with a black woman at my university. She was my first serious girlfriend and I loved her very much. I wanted to marry her.

But my mother disapproved so much that she gave me an ultimatum to choose between my black girlfriend or her. I refused to make the choice and I never spoke to my mother again. By that time, I was already living on my own and working with a full scholarship (my parents did not pay for my university education).

[HighlyVolatile]

She was also maybe borderline abusive, constantly hitting me with the belt growing up until one day I grabbed the belt out of her hand (by this point I was taller and bigger than her) and so I grounded myself in my room. I doled out my own punishments.

She also brought questionable men to our home all the time, including one who stole all my prized possessions (my Mickey Mantle autographed rookie card, my Nintendo, Super Nintendo, all my games, and our family car so I had to ride the school bus to school). Then she still ended up blaming me and my little sister for him leaving her while I had to show up to divorce court absent him to testify after my mother reported our car stolen and they found it in Chicago with him absent.

She was a trainwreck of a woman if I may say. I was actually glad that she disowned me and that I wouldn't have to talk to her ever again.

[HighlyVolatile]

I don't hate her; don't get me wrong. I can understand why she thinks that way. She was raised in the smallest town and she hated outsiders (oddly not my father who is Japanese). And I can understand why she's so abusive because she's an emotional trainwreck. She was constantly overwhelmed and I think she found stress relief in hitting people weaker than her until I was no longer weaker, and then I put her in place and dealt myself my own punishments for my misbehavior. But she made my life a living hell and my life became so much easier without her in it.

[WonderBell99]

The racist part and the hitting with belt part was too relatable.

I’m sorry your mum wasn’t supportive of you and your dreams. Hope you’re doing well now (=

[HighlyVolatile]

@WonderBell99 I'm doing pretty well! I got a bit of a psychotic episode here and there which you've already seen when you invited me into your Q. :-D And I can't blame that on my upbringing because society doesn't factor that in. But I usually recover quickly. I hope you will do well too!

[WonderBell99]

lmao, that day was pretty fun actually. That was a good debate with that guy. I enjoy debates and your replies were fun to read

Thank you 😊💛

[HighlyVolatile]

@WonderBell99 I usually try to fix things soon after I fuck them up. I think I bombed so hard but I was trying to make peaceful things by asking about horror films. In-person, I can usually mellow things out between people by changing the subject so hard that maybe we all realize our humanity. But I look back on that attempt and it's embarrassing. I was also drunk. :-D I broke my no-alcohol challenge and I was too embarrassed to admit it.

[HighlyVolatile]

@WonderBell99 That guy's questions actually pissed me off though. I didn't realize he was asking them as a joke. They sounded very abusive to me and so I came in with a bad vibe already complete with intoxication.

[WonderBell99]

@highlyvolatile Hahaha, it’s perfectly alright!

Trust me, when I look back at my old opinions on my previous accounts (inactive) account, I cringe so hard because I feel so effing embarrassed reading those. But hey, on the brighter side, you can laugh about it one day (when you’re not embarrassed about it anymore!)

Damn! But you were doing very well though. It’s hard to give things up though, especially addictive stuff like alcohol/drugs/cigarettes

[WonderBell99]

@highlyvolatile He asks questions like that lmao.. his recent question was “Guys, Do you ever approach girls?” Or something along the lines of that.. and I replied: “nope, I’m straight” and he said “ being straight doesn’t exist for girls”… I kind of trolled him back though 🤣

[HighlyVolatile]

@WonderBell99 He's a very young man if I recall correctly. Everyone has to figure things out in life. Unfortunately, it might be the hard way for most people.

[WonderBell99]

Yep. Unfortunately, life isn’t kind to many people. He seems hurt.. by someone or something. It’s heartbreaking, but hope he does well in life.

[skyeee_]

man that's horrible, i hope you're doing aight now

[ShadezMcgee]

I feel she is one of the few people in this world I can talk to about anything.

[beebella]

Now, yes, but it took many years for us to get to this point.

[Kaneki05]

No. And I dislike it when someone is like "She don't seem bad or you're too hard on her" anything that takes her side. Because they just simply don't understand.

[jennifer_bloom]

My mother screams so loud it makes my ears hurt - she loves to yell and hit my dad

[WonderBell99]

That’s abuse..

[WonderBell99]

Hope you’re doing much better … sending hugs! 🤗

[jennifer_bloom]

@WonderBell99 thanks, yes. I’m an adult so they can’t hurt me now, only make me angry.

[WonderBell99]

of course, but her behavior must have taken a toll on you and your anger is justified

Glad you’re doing well 😊

[jennifer_bloom]

@WonderBell99 yes, thank you : )

[WonderBell99]

🤗🤗💛💛

[DaveToo]

My Mom has had a tough couple of months. But stalwart that she is, she still calls me every morning to check in. At 105 I know I won't have her much longer but I'll savor every day she's with us.

[MCheetah]

No. I wish she died every single night when I was younger.

[Ringstretch]

I used to do everything she said to please her, we got on quite well together. She passed many years ago but I still do what she taught me in memory of her

[HeartFullOfGlue]

I do get along with her but I have to avoid talking about certain subjects and she stresses me out a lot.

[skyeee_]

i do most of the time

[douride2]

We never really had a good relationship.

[gabby100]

Yes , when she was here..

[SnakeBoop]

hell nah.

[BeMuse]

Yep.

[JosyJosy]

Not really

[LavLavLuv]

Nope

[moonpie89]

Sometimes

[MrSmithee]

no..