How to deal with a recovering addicted parent?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dealing with it my entire life. But coping with it and I just get overwhelming

[Oigit]

Sometimes putting distance between you and them is the best thing you can do. I know we want to be there and help them. But by doing so we can quickly become overwhelmed or get caught up in the issues their addiction creates. So putting some distance between you and them can comedown to a act of self preservation. It's not something anyone wants to do. But there are times where it has to be done. Because it's the only way for us to ensure that we can be there for ourselves and the other people around us.

My family has a history of addiction issues. Basically my grandmother and mother are only people on my mothers side that I have any contact with. Because outside of those two and some super distant relatives, they are the only ones that don't have serious addiction issues. Everything from meth, crack, heroin and serious alcohol addiction run through out the majority of that side of the family.

My uncle ended up losing the majority of his right leg below his right leg. Because he was train hopping to go fishing. When he jumped of the train car he was in, his backpack got caught and his right leg got whipped under the car's wheels and it got cut off. Despite loving him and being close to him growing up, I didn't try to help him or take him in. Simply because I knew I would end up taking care of a alcoholic who used meth. So the only thing he got tell he passed years after losing his leg was a random phone call.

[Asker]

The hard part is it my father

[Oigit]

I think when people think about putting distance between them and a family member with issues they tend to think that distance needs to be there all the time. But that can create it's own issues. So you can still talk to them on the phone or even visit them in person. But you do need to ensure that you are not constantly doing so. Putting limits on the times in a given week where you are talking to them on the phone or visiting them in person is a good idea. Because it helps us from getting to a point where we have issue coping with everything. So we end up with several days a week to recenter ourselves before we max out our ability to cope with everything in a given time frame.

Though I think visiting them on neutral ground is the best policy. So places like a restaurant, park or some place that isn't your place or theirs is a good policy to have. Because it can keep us from not having any needed separation to recenter ourselves. Because if we are visiting them at our place or theirs we might quickly move them in or move in with them. So we wind up with next to no time to separate ourselves from them and their issues. When we end up living with them or moving them in it can quickly get us to a point where we can't separate us from everything. So even at work we are constantly thinking about it.

[EdwinLivingston_]

Recovering addicted?

[jimmy2]

Yes it is I know