I have asked similar questions in the past and was amazed at how many parents, or future parents, especially males, said they would rather their kid did it at some seedy hotel in the bad part of town, at who knows who's house, or in the back seat of a car rather than in the safety of their home where they at least know they are OK and can have talks with them about safe sex and pregnancy prevention.
Do parents like this just not care about their kids, like 'go play in the street and leave me alone'?
Obviously, they don't want them doing it at all but this is not facing reality. They are going to do it if they want to.
Please answer honestly. I will not be judgmental even after what I just said, so feel free to express your true opinion.
Not in my home period! Yes, let them do it anywhere else I really don't care since they are not going to listen to me and do what I say anyway!
It is OK if they do it at home but just don't make any noise. I don't want to hear my son or daughter moaning away in their bedroom
Yes, I would be OK with it, without restrictions
Yes, I would be ok with it and wish my parent would have allowed it for me
OTHER, see my comments below, or just open the "Offspring Sex At Home" Survey
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Please select your age
Why do so many parents think it is better to let their offspring sneak out and have sex instead of allowing them to do it safely at home?
I would be fine with it. Just like my mum was with my brother and I. Several years ago, she wanted a new double bed. She got a good deal by buying 3. The extra ones were for me and bruv. Her attitude was that sooner or later, either of us would get a partner.
I'm guessing it probably had more factors than their policy on sex. I venture they might have been open about communication with other aspects of life as well. For me, that was the best part about my relationship with my mom, and the worst part about my relationship with my dad.
If a kid has a boyfriend/girlfriend, parents are in denial if they think the kids aren't engaging in sex.
When I was still living at home in my teens and early twenties, I brought girlfriends over and we'd disappear into my bedroom. My parents just turned a blind eye. I never had any sleep overs, though. Those girls has to be home by a certain hour.
My thing is, I would have already made sure that my kid knew about protection. Beyond that, its up to them to explore life at their own pace. I'd accept their sexuality as normal.
I'd be available for calm, non-judgemental, adult conversations. And I'd help my daughter with access to birth control.
I would have no problem with them having sex in their room if they were discrete. They could fuck for hours for all I care. But I wouldn't allow all-nighters if they were underage. There could be legal implications.
If they were both over legal age, I would treat their room as theirs to do with as they pleased. All-nighters would be no problem. They just need to be respectful, keep the noise down, and clean up their mess.
If your kids are sneaking out, you've got a bigger problem to begin with.
Proper parenting begins with instilling values in your kids at a young age, and being a good role model so they respect you.
As I got older, I may not have told my parents everything, but I still tried to live by the values they instilled in me. If I didn't tell my parents something, it was mainly because I didn't want to worry them.
But there wasn't really much opportunity to sneak out and get in trouble. My parents weren't that absent minded. And this was before cell phones were even common. Like believe it or not, parents actually used to know where their kids were, because they paid attention to them.
If you're telling your kids to have sex at home, because you really don't want them having sex but are feeling self-defeated, then no offense but you kind of suck as a parent. If you can't control what they do outside of the house, then what makes you think you can control what they do inside of the house. It's not like you're going to be watching them while they have sex. It's not like you can be more sure they're using protection. About the only advantage is you might be able to prevent a rape, but even that is not guaranteed.
What happens between consenting adults is their business, but what happens in my house is my business. My oldest daughter already likes animals better than people and and has a better understanding of economics and US history than most high school teachers, so her dating pool in the second most libtarded are of one of the top three libtarded states is not going to be very big. My three year old’s autism is manifesting in her still not being able to reliably string words together into a sentence, and she turns four in December. Yes I understand she is eventually going to want a relationship just like almost every other human being, but mental age and consent are going to be more difficult to navigate for her, as well as finding a partner in the first place. My wife and I cling to hope that she will eventually be able to move out, but it’s too early to tell. For all we know she could be high enough functioning later in life as to not be immediately obviously on the spectrum , and all our worrying would be for nothing.
As many have said, it's not that they "think it's better", it's that the parents themselves have a close minded and unhealthy relationship with sex. They are likely uncomfortable with their own sexuality as well as the sexuality of others, including their offspring. It's likely they have some deeper issues such as cultural issues stemming from religion or socio-economic background, which limit their ability to cognate clearly around human sexuality.
This is a generational issue, which then gets handed down as a heritage of ignorance and disgust around sex. Leading to personal feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment around sexuality which can manifest in issues such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, violence/rape, and resentment.
If may have been safe to sneak off In the 50's and 60's but things hhave changed. The biggest danger we worried about was pregnancy and the resultant shaming of the two families. There is a bigger evil now. Not many of us thought about getting killed. My biggest worry was being caught by the security guard in the parking lot of the Orange Park Kennel Club. When he did catch us he just said "Finish up and move on. So the dangers are diffferent. The activity will never stop. Our attitude and rationality about it must change. Maybe a group owned safe house would be half way between sneaking out and rocking boots at home.
My parents only ever had the rule of, not in our house... unless your married and staying as a guest or living here.
Please respect our decisions and our house.
So meant going into the fields, loophole right? but I wouldn't personally want to share with my parents that I was going to go have sex ever... I wouldn't want them to know.
As a parent myself, I'm not sure I'd want to know either... all I will do is teach safe sex practices, I can't stop you but if your going to, do it safely. Somehow I think that saying you can invite friends over and do it here, doesn't mean they will do it safe... can still get pregnant or STD's that way.
Yet focusing on the safe 'aspect' means no matter where they do it, hopefully they'll be safe.
As even if I let them do it in my home, that won't be the only place they do it.
I don't think any parent 'lets' their kids sneak out either, rofl... they just do.
Well, for most parents sex is obviously a very sacred thing, it can get really weird when you ask parents about their understanding of sex, 3specially if you are asking about the sexual relation their children are going to have. Now when it comes to down to a place where their children will have sex, they don't want it to be their home because in a way they will always know that their child had sex in the house. Which to be honest, might not be a thought that they want in life and in the house. Hence, them having sex in some hotel sounds better because it's far away from the home hence doesn't strike into their head. It is very irresponsible but in a way it's understandable, parents are not always very close to their children and then having a notion of the fact that your child had sex in the very house you sleep can be a little awkward. Of course, it would be better if the child has always been open to the parent, making things a little less awkward.
Kids? It depends on the age. 18 and over its a different story. But Im not promoting under age sex. I'm going to be honest with my children and tell them its an act that is best waiting on. Jumping in the sack with the very first person you come across isn't the greatest idea and can lead to many regrets. Not every child has sex in highschool. I made out and such. I had toys but I didn't lose my V card until after college. Its because my father spoke to me and was open with me. I was given birth control as a teen and my father was the one who took me. That there showed me he trusted me and wanted me safe. It also made me think twice about sex. If my father felt it so important to give me protection then obviously sex is a big deal and something to be taken seriously. With under age children I will encourage mine to wait. I will also take things day by day. I'll know whats best for my children when that time comes.
The premise for this question is around the fact that their mind is already made up and this is going to happen come heaven or low water, parents like it, or not.
Under that premise do you let them do it at home, or knowing you will not, they do it as described in my opening paragraph? Which would it be?
Unfortunately, your answer of 'None of the Above' won't work for this question :)
Its disrespectful to do it in your parents home. I've done it but still its disrespectful. A parents job is to educate you on how sex works and the possible consequences of it. I’d think the parent was dumb and encouraging me to get it on if they handed me condoms and asked me to do it under their roof. Tf? I’d ask my kid to at least wait til 18 and out from under my roof. And thats on them to afford their own protection because they had no business gettin freaky under 18 anyways 🤷♀️ Sure so many of us have but we werent supposed to be... and i’m not gonna push my kids to use condoms when i like it raw myself. I’d just ask that both the kid and their partner get tested before doing whatever. They can have all the sex they want when they’re no longer living under my roof
would rather their kid did it at some seedy hotel in the bad part of town, at who knows who's house, or in the back seat of a car rather than in the safety of their home where they at least know they are OK and can have talks with them about safe sex and pregnancy prevention.
I would say your right, I don't know what my parents views on it were tbh but I've not needed to know either.
You are right it's better if they are it at home then you sneaking out. Tho I'd say it's only fair to try not to disturb others and depending on family someay for them not to just walk in.
My parents seem to think nocking on the door the second before you open it is okay as warning.
At the same time this kinda related to the whole should people be better sex educated instead of don't it should be taught all about safe sex and consent and all that. In a much better way.
Parents who don't want in their home most of the time also don't want it outside their home, they just aren't able to control / don't know about it when it's not in their home.
Why because Emotions are stronger than logic sometimes. Yeah I wouldn't want my kid to sneak out but it's also a very uncomfortable feeling to listen to your kids have sex or walking on eggshells in your own house.
When my kids are of age, if they are still studying or so living with me, I'd hope I can provide a space for them that isn't necessarily in the main house.
My parents were okay with it mainly when they were not home kind of ordeal. But they gave ample space for that because both of them worked late hours most days. Mom even came home a little earlier once, when we were taking a nap after sex. She didn't know she was in my bed until we came out room together. We all ate dinner together so that was good.
Because children are always going to rebel so you need to set boundaries and limits. If you allow them to have sex in your home especially underage you are faciliting it and just making it easier for them. It the same with why you don't let kids drink alcohol or do drugs in your home sure they are going to sneak around drinking some beer, maybe smoking some weed and having sex but they aren't going to be getting their stomach pumped after some drug induced orgy that leaves them with an STD.
i don't think they think it is better. I think they are just making it harder. Basically giving them one less option instead of giving them and easy option
In high school and college the few bfs I had slept over I didn't go their place
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Many parents shouldn't be parents. It's that simple. Control their lives so much and they will drift away slowly. Don't be surprised when that happens. I did just that.
"I would rather my kid did it at some seedy hotel in the bad part of town, at who knows who's house, or in the back seat of a car rather than in the safety of my home where I at least know they are OK and can have talks with them about safe sex and pregnancy prevention"
They are not going to tell you this is happening if you are going to through him/her out on the street, so that is the answer.
I am not surprised actually. As I said in my opening text, mostly males were of your same opinion. And if you notice the survey results, that is also supported there.
I answered other. I am not going to throw them out on the street. I am just going to treat them like an adult if they want to engage in adult activities. I am not going to raise irresponsible kids.
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