Why is not wanting kids frowned upon?

Question

fr44c3iqqs · Accepted Answer

Because people, especially those religious, think that we were sent here to have kids and raise kids. I think it’s a personal choice, although both decisions come with pros and cons in the moment and in the long run, but even though having kids can be a rewarding experience and is a learning experience and growing experience, it doesn’t mean everyone should have kids nor that having kids is for everybody. It isn’t. Plus, most people even don’t raise kids properly, but no matter how much you prepare or study in effective raising methods, you will still make mistakes, which is why it is a learning experience and a growing experience. Each child is different and unique, so while each may have their flaws, each have their gift too and bring gift unto the parents, although they may not realize it, but it is still a personal choice as to whether or not to have kids. But once someone has a child, there is no going back. You’re bound with the obligation to raise the child, no matter if you are the mother or the father, so definitely don’t have kids just like that and not while not being ready. It is something that must be planned carefully and prepared for very well if that path will be taken. This is why there should be no social pressure to have a child because it is not for everyone. If there was no pressure to have children, then people will be a lot more likely to think of preparation and methods prior to having children, and although there would be fewer parents, kids will be raised a lot better and a maybe a lot happier too, but of course, there is no such thing as utopia paradise, and doesn’t mean challenges will be absent. It will rather create people who will embrace challenges and see them as adventures and growing experiences. But nobody is ever 100% ready or 100% prepared for anything, so people should not be stressing about it, or else it will never get done. There is the one say: fake it til you do it. There is this other say: learn from your mistakes. People say that those who start school at a later age do better, while others say that in the long run, those who start school at an earlier age do better, and that is because they make more mistakes in the beginning and learn from them more, as well as the importance to make mistakes to learn more. But yeah, back to the kids thing, people have no obligation to have kids despite social pressure. This does not only apply to society in some manners but in other manners, the religious too: Not everything that is right is popular. Not everything that is popular is right.

Another great say says: Be what you want to be, not what others want to see. (Edited by me and someone else, replacing the 3rd last word, which was “choose” and replacing the word 2nd word in each phrase, which was “who”; got replaced with “what”. Oh, it is a lot more mysterious than that in many ways.)

BCA6010 · Accepted Answer

I'm going to disagree with pretty much everyone who I read through.

I do not think that having kids is necessary for a happy life, nor have I known really anyone other than parents pressuring their kids to do it. Like most crucial decisions in life, it is something that requires the contemplation of a sound mind over outside influence.

In my opinion and observation, having kids basically magnifies the already present situation in the family unit. A weak couple will destroy themselves (and their kids) by having kids, while a strong couple will enrich themselves through procreation. Most people on any side of the "should you have kids" argument wants everyone else to feel the same way they do in order to validate themselves.

claryy · Accepted Answer

I don't want children and I don't think I will have then in the future.

Reproduction it's a natural thing to do, but this doesn't mean that we have to do it, if we don't want.
Some people still think that human being can't be complete without children, but this is a very ancient mentality.
In the past people did a lot of children because they need hand to work the fields, now there isn't this necessity, in fact people started to have a few children per family.
Also reproduction id something to do with religion because for example in the Bible ebrew bore children to continue the name of the family and for some believe it is like that also today.

A lot of people say me that I need to change mynmondnom this because having a children is the best thinf in the wolrd but, persona I don't care about it, I don't want children and I am happy this way.

karaspara · Accepted Answer

It shouldn't be but people always assume women want children

ohshee · Answer

This is a catch-22 question for me I love it but I hate being honest about it. The very first thing is is that I absolutely love kids I grew up with a guy that I thought was my dad until I was five that I knew the truth that he used to beat me with a belt and I never understood how somebody could beat somebody so fucking hard and then said that they love you. And then I watch Friends With Kids and how they ignore the kids and how they speak to their kids and in doing so with their actually teaching their kids they're going to become and it's just really pisses me off. I have two kids and the very first day that I held my son my life changed right there I knew that I had to become a teacher a parent a friend and just me. I knew did I would never touch my kids with a belt or anything else I knew did my words could teach them and I was going to teach them unconditional love I was going to teach them the right thing be honest I was going to teach them if they could come to me for anyting they ever needed to and that's what I did I never let my kids see me get upset they always see me learn how to handle problems very calmly if my friends were around they heard the way that I talk to them how I acted because no matter what you do in life did you have kids you are there God you can do no wrong and they pick up on every little thing you do and body language to hiccups it doesn't matter baby, that person that they see like I said I went through hell when I was growing up and I did not want my kids to go through that hell so I made sure they didn't both very successful young adults my son's a fireman paramedic my daughter still finding herself and I always had nephews and nieces over at my house people would bring their kids over to my house because problems with it with them and I would have to explain to him the kids are not the problem you're the problem but anyway I love kids now I'm saying all the above.
We are in a place in this world where we don't know where we're headed I can tell you this it's not good I do not want to bring up kids where I think the world is headed to because if something was to happen to me I cannot protect them and that would be just wrong I would need to be able to protect him at all times no matter how old they are it would just be wrong timing right now until the world figures it all out and we figure out which direction we are really being led down what path we are being that. That's what's happening right now

MrOracle · Answer

You don't have to have kids, but if you don't, you had better have a lot of money saved up in your retirement account. When you don't have children, you have no one to care for you in old age, so you have to be able to hire people to do so. If you get sick or injured, and you need someone to get you to doctor's appointments or look after you at home, you will have to pay for that, and it won't be cheap.

If you retire at 65, and you live to the average age of 85, that is 20 years - your most expensive years - that you have to be able to pay for. If you get a serious illness (cancer is sadly popular, but maybe you need dialysis or some other ongoing treatment), you will need someone to help you - going it alone isn't going to be possible. Families have normally done that job, but no kids means no younger generation to help you when it's your time.

Financial experts say that if you retired today at 65, to live out 20 years of middle class life, you'd need $2 million in the bank. That's $100,000 a year, and that's hardly unreasonable given likely expenses. If you need assisted living, that is probably not enough. Inflation means that amount goes up every year.

So, hopefully you have been dumping money into your 401k and IRA, and will have a paid off house by the time you retire. You will only have yourself to count on.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Because biologically we are wired to want kids. Also its kind of how society maintains itself. Most people do want kids and will eventually start regretting not having them as they get older.

If you don't, fine, but again, it all probability your going to get older and decide that you really did want kids all along. For what ever reason society has decided to tell women they don't want kids despite their biological drives (even greater then men's) and that has convinced a lot of younger women they don't want kids. By the time they realize they actually do want kids they are already struggling to have them (their is a very "famous" case of this with a feminist who pushed for decades to stop treating women like they where baby makers that women didn't want kids etc. etc. then she hit fifty and couldn't have kids of her own and so she adopted. Same thing happened with the writer of "sex and the city", she has openly admitted to regretting choosing career over family and now its too late to change it.).

Again, if you don't want them fine, no one should ever be forced into it, you might even be that incredibly rare exception that says they don't want kids and means it, but that is not likely and again, we generally look at it weird because its the singular purpose of biological life and we are wired to want children so people who go against that seem odd.

Finchie40 · Answer

Most people that frown upon it just feel it’s a selflish decision to live your life only focusing on yourself , but the bottom line is some people just aren’t capable of raising children, so I don’t see anything wrong with it , But one thing I have witnessed , was couples that chose not to have children that lived their whole lives traveling and spoiling each other until the day they were both lying on their death beds regretting not ever having children, being lonely and no one there by their bed side when they were dying, they would say if we could go back in time they wish they would of had children, Me personally has children and they are the best love I ever received on this Earth , But to start over with having kids with someone else is not on my to do list , I plan on meeting someone and spoiling each other and traveling and experiencing all the things I didn’t get to experience when I was married with kids , Now that my kids are older and I am single , I realize I don’t really have much more to look forward to other than living out the rest of my life the best I can , so finding a girl that doesn’t want kids or doesn’t want more kids is the kind of girl I am looking for , cuz least I know when I am dying on my death bed my children will be there for me

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

You know, I think some people don't even know WHY they think people should have kids. They don't question it. They just know that when they grew up it was expected that you get married and have kids. Now that life doesn't have to go that way, they are still stuck in that mindset.
My mom had 3 kids, I'm the youngest. Ever since I was little I have said I don't want kids. I never have. And she's always told me I'll change my mind. I don't think she has a train of thought behind why I should change my mind. Or why she thinks I'll suddenly have a complete personality change that makes me enjoy being around kids. She just knows she had kids, her sisters had kids, her friends had kids, and her two oldest kids had kids. The idea that I'm never going to be a parent and I'm happy with that choice just... doesn't compute with her.
Thankfully she quit arguing with me about this after I was sterilized. I think the fact that I took drastic, surgical measures to ensure I never become a parent finally got through to her

EmbraceThePain · Answer

Well, the root of whatever answer is going to evolutionary biology. I think, deep down, we are all hardwired to want to procreate and make more human beings. I think deviations away from this or interests away from this would feel out of place for us. So, with that being the root, then what can come after that? Well, we can take about culture and tradition of the place one was raised in. The environment and family that someone was raised in will dictate just how frowned upon not wanting kids will be. I honestly think all cultures and places will find this to be frowned upon, generally speaking, because of the evolutionary biology root that is still inherent in all of us. To me, it’s interesting on the reasons why people do not want to have children.

mobiusforniner · Answer

I have two kids. Love them and would jump on front of a train for them. But theyre not for everyone. My 2 yr old girl went to bed at 1030 last night and woke up to play at 230 this morning. And I got to work at 7 and must function at my best capacity for the next 9hrs, only to come home and hear my son complain about dinner leftovers and storming off saying i never do things he wants. So I take them to the park, watch them play, doze off for a minute while wife watches. Now im sitting here on a couch, typing this rant on my phone while my kids watch the same damn movie they watch everyday, cuz thats what kids so... and I smile cuz you no-kidders have no idea what kid life is like. No idea.

menina · Answer

Good question!

I think it's because a lot of people believe that everyone should get married and have kids. That's what they consider natural and for some it's a life goal.
We live in a world where people expect us to be all the same and when someone is "different" or wants a "different life" the person is automatically seen as a weirdo or as someone who needs help.
When you're a woman the pressure to have kids is even bigger. So if you don't want it you're considered abnormal and therefore frowned upon.

TheorionMage · Answer

As far as Nature's greater scheme-of-things is concerned... those NOT passing on their DNA are evolutionary 'dead ends'. NO ONE celebrates the DEATHS of billions of 'surplus wasted' unfertilized menstrual Ovum and ejaculated Spermatozoa.

Masturbation reverts to JUST an immediate 'feel good' ancillary benefit of 'testing' One's reproductive anatomy. Eastern Tantra acknowledges, ... harvests and exploits the incidental anatomical bioelectric radiant energies released during sexual conduct, as a form of sentient spiritual 'communion' with One's Deity (Quodousch ) "Let us PRAY! :)

As you might well imagine the Tantric parents of children, skirt legal prosecution of Pedophilic sexual predation if caught engaged in home or communal religious rituals equivalent to the Christian majority's sacraments of 'Baptism', 'First Communion' and 'Confirmation'.

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Once upon a time it was frowned upon.

It's supposed to be a primal thought born grow copulate reproduce.

And in this cycle life revovles people have lot to talk about it.

It gave purpose to there life as women were not working it was a distraction for mind something to live for.

Now suddenly someone thought to break the cycle and the people who enjoyed , brokedown , laughed , cried are like what was that an option.

No but now you showed them they could have been free so people would see that you won't want to take the responsibility which they took so they get angry on you.

And for others its just a general concern like what are your plans if not having kid inquistive.

I don't think now it's frowned upon

Qdbrown · Answer

We live in an arrogant, ungrateful, selfish and ignorant society that doesn't understand why having children is important. It's the same who get mad to think animals die, but have no problem buying meat from the store.

That said some people should not have kids. If they understand that, this is a good thing.

But the whole reason we have a border crisis, and shipping in Afghans, is to fill the jobs that need doing now. We are essentially giving our country away to others because we lack the desire to procreate, and rather enrich ourselves now at our ancestor's expense, for everything that live, fought and died for.

Browneye57 · Answer

It's simply showing a lack of maturity.
Love and marriage, family, children, are about GIVING. Not what you GET out of it. When your life is a grand success, you're eternally happy, you then might be in a place to want to share your life with someone special. Some people just never get to this, they're constantly feeding their own neediness. Which is fine, but they should not marry nor have children - it's just not fair to the parties involved.

I never wanted children, in my twenties either. Now I have three grown ones, all older than you. When you get to my age you come to realize the only people that really matter in your life is your family. Everyone else just comes and goes in your life.

And you have to be willing to do the work to create high value, so as to attract a high-value partner. Only then might you be ready to bring forth life and nurture it to maturity.

MCheetah · Answer

Because society says humans are just meant to make babies and nothing more, and that putting your sanity and happiness first is a bad thing somehow, even if you'd make a lousy parent or you're not healthy enough to be reproducing more humans (like myself).

JackSmy · Answer

I was raised with that ideal, and Christianity, and there is a link there, I guess.
I turned away from both LIES, and decided that I need to DECIDE FOR ME, what I WANT, rather than being some 'programmed drone', just following some social/religious bullshit paradigm!!

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

It's only frowned upon by people who want or have kids and also at the same time hate or fear that other people don't want the same things they want.

It's basically a side effect from parenting crazed control freaks, and it's thankfully rare where I live.

It's no different than religious people wanting others to convert, or fans of something belittling those who like something else.

Best to ignore people like that tbh, asking why they do it is like asking why the team from jackass did all those crazy stunts, there is no logic behind the act.

Oigit · Answer

A generation a long time ago was guilt tripped into thinking that they are obligated to have kids and the idea was simply passed to the next and it continued from there. Society can be used to guilt trip people into saying or doing something they do not want to do. Because it can be used like a exclusive club you have to say or do something in order to be part of. Since the practice has been going for so many generations many people just accept it.

Anonymous · Answer

cause they see it as selfish, you could help populate the earth an u won't, u could give life to people u won't, its bull. its not everyones life goal, mission to have kids... an its ok... an should be ok... dont be pressured into marriage or having kids... if u want to be single never have kids, thats fine, dont be bullied into thinking otherwise. some know they could not afford kids, could not cope with kids, or they just want their freedom... i dont even want pets thats how much i want an need my freedom, i dont want marriage, pets, kids, nothing that affects my freedom, and thats fine, i think selfish would be i have kids cause i was pressured.. and i can't afford them, i can't handle them... i choose me time over them,,,, so on... it is ok to never have kids, im not bringing anyone to earth to suffer... and i want my freedom... people can suck it.

Anonymous · Answer

If they don't want children that's on them, however I did. Though thanks to female hypergamy feminism and a false accusation system including a society to match pitted against men, not only did I not get married, I ended up childless too. Men can't even get near anywhere children without it creating some sort of panic among society and more so women. Women put up a big front to claim they care so much about the welfare of children while sticking up for abortion, they care more about animals than they do about children. This has a lot to do with why MGTOW exist and why I never want to be with a woman again. Women have absolutely no room and no right to complain about men leaving IE MGTOW.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

I think that men generally get caught up in a biological lust for continuing their bloodline, and women generally a similar yearning in ways I can't understand.

Some people just seem to not have much desire in that area, and overpopulation is a real problem, so what if people don't want kids.

The politicians and religions demonize childless couples for their own greedy reasons, and ignore overpopulation. Nobody talks about that.

Jonny59 · Answer

some don't want kids and that's fine their decision but if you say this in your mid 20 or your mid 30 is too EARLY to be completely sure I get it you want to be free but
many ladies later in life either they regret or they feel extremely bored and have no meaning
my parents are living because of me I AM their meaning and that makes me happy because I also love my parents and I don't see my life without them but as we all know one day we all our parents will die and we can't do anything about it
its life so bringing a living being is a good thing ONLY if you decide to take care of it
dont make babies if you won't watch them you ruining a life
and that is a SIN

pjf1958 · Answer

Not so much in the U. S., but in most developing nations it's almost sacraligious not to have big families. However, with almost 8 billion human beings competing for fresh water, viable farmland, clean air, etc., it's becoming obvious that those traditional values must cease if we are able to protect our biosphere.

Ez-Bri-Z · Answer

Because people just love to push their dreams onto others. Misery loves company so to speak.

And as the mother of two, have I told you lately how great having kids are? Why haven't you had kids yet. Kids are adorable! Here take one of mine!

*tries to hand one off and get back to having a quiet house again*

ThatNoUVAtYourEyes · Answer

People probably assume, like in baby boomer ages, that you get given a house and enough money/work for money to feed some children, and then frown upon your not having any.

Maybe clarify houses are beyond reach of most, and to feed children you first need to feed Indians and the poor in africa so basically there isn't any hope.

Thank boomers for deciding Indians and Africans doubling their populations successfully is higher priority than you getting a house or means of living and procreating (they call it offshoring/outsourcing - reproduction included)

Barry88 · Answer

I don't want to have kids, neither does my girlfriend. I'm happy with that and I enjoy the freedom I have. We both have a good income, we can travel a lot, we can do whatever we want in the weekends. I don't want to give up freedom to have kids.

Azura_88 · Answer

Those are creepy people because they are imposing their fantasies on others.
If we also start saying desiring kids at early 20's is creepy and disgusting then they'll literally start world war 3.
But hypocrites can shame the ones who choose to be childfree. Overpopulation is already an issue.

HayleySmith · Answer

Because society is not ready to accept that yet. It's not necessary for everyone to be baby people. It's okay to not want kids.
Personally I want kids but I also want to adopt a child.
Not everyone who wants to be parents are able to bare children but they can always adopt.

Arabella_Rose · Answer

Because it shows you’re not a loving, caring , nurturing person. And quite honestly it’s uncommon to see someone who doesn’t want kids. Most of us want kids. Humans are designed to love and want children. If it was more common to not want kids , human population would have ceased to exist long ago

wonderfulstation404 · Answer

if your parents didn't want kids you think you'll be here?
you're not the first human being with this issue and if it becomes the norm globally we might as well go extinct... so that's why.
the real question is why don't you want kids? are they really that bad?

MysticDevice · Answer

Kids are expensive, annoying, time consuming, a pain in the ass, and possesed by Satan. I have no desire to ever have any.

I don't know why not wanting them is frowned upon. There's 7 billion people here already and we don't need people spawning like rabbits.

Apple1996 · Answer

We are meant to have kids. It's nature and honestly its weird that so many millennials are on this trend of not having them. They always have this thing about trying to be different then their parents generation. If they put that shit thinking aside they'd realize it's our job as humans to keep our species growing. And I personally frown upon it because of that ridiculous reasoning to be "different" and the lack of maturity that it shows.

MotorcycleMan · Answer

Breeders want you to share in their misery. lol
I don't know, it seems like a pretty personal choice that people need to make for their selves, no matter what other people think. However, many people feel that their own personal choices are the only "correct" choice.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I don't know why not wanting kids is frowned upon. It is a personal choice and if a woman doesn't feel that having kids is right for her, more power to her. I totally respect a woman's decision to not have kids if that is what she wants.

SabrinaBrena · Answer

I don’t know why it’s frowned upon. Some people definitely shouldn’t be having kids though. I know someone who has some pets and keeps them caged up all the time. Won’t allow them to roam freely just because she doesn’t want to clean up behind them… this same someone wants a child… if you don’t want to clean behind your pets then you most definitely aren’t ready to start having kids. You can’t put a baby in a cage.

JoVee · Answer

my answer would be, It's frowned upon? Had no clue, usually i tell people I have no interest in having/raising children and I am only met with, "Why?". Then people will usually accept my answer or not but I mean how is it frowned upon? Your body, your choice...

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know beyond the whole keeping the family name going thing

I have had negatives proffered when I say I don't want kids, then I go into my medical history and how much of it could be hereditary and that shuts them up, I'm being a good person by not having kids

Mollynotgemma · Answer

Because people with kids want you to suffer like they have. By not having kids you experience something ‘the norm’ can’t!

DeltaCharlieEcho · Answer

Because it's a virtue signal; it's not that you don't want to have kids, it is that you know that you're not supposed to say that you want to have kids. The right thing to say is that you don't want kids, and everyone knows how much of a crock of shit it is.

ClassyMe · Answer

It's not frowned upon. Also, why should you care? I'm pretty sure there are things you frown upon wether it be someones political views or something. Just ignore it and carry on is what I'd say.

genericname85 · Answer

Well cause lack of fertility is the biggest problem we have in western first world society. So I think it's valid to have a shaming mechanism in an effort to correct for that.

Celtero · Answer

Because having kids is what made it possible for you to be here to whine about how you're too lazy to have kids so you're willing to let your 4 billion year old evolutionary lineage end with you.

weeee · Answer

"Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child."

DonkeyDan · Answer

I don't want to bring kids into this world. I have no objection to others wanting to, I used to want kids. But for me now it's a no. Not everyone looks down on it.

007kingifrit · Answer

the purpose of life is to make more life. if you don't want kids something is literally wrong with you

if your beliefs or wants would literally drive us to extinction if everyone practiced them... that's a bad sign

ToastyOats · Answer

Because kids are why we all work at all! When you choose the single life its like flipping the bird to your parents and the next generation.

exitseven · Answer

Everyone wants to have grand kids. My kids are all grown and gone and I am patiently waiting for the next generation of Exitsevens.

RHK36 · Answer

It's sort of coded in our DNA. So are a bunch of other things, but we go against them since we're "civilized". You do you though, shouldn't matter what's considered the norm since it's always changing.

tropicalbreeze · Answer

Depends on the neighbourhood I guess or the culture locally. Personally I have no issue and I have no issue not having them myself too. So oh well. But times thankfully are changing :) 😁

Surely · Answer

With the way that the world has changed in your life time. Wouldn’t be fair to bring children into the world to live through the things that seem to be in place to happen over the next lifetime.
Your body, your choice!

Dburns1268 · Answer

I don't know. I love m boys SO much but if I had to do it again I wouldn't have had them.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

By some but it should not be. my Sister decided years ago she would not have kids.

RealMarek · Answer

The roots of this disapproval lie in biological evolution. The survival of the species depends on reproduction.

kyleelyn199723 · Answer

Because everyone always thinks their opinions are right. I am one of those people that really doesn’t want kids and people tell me “you will change your mind in a couple of years”

Subarugirl · Answer

Because some people will see it as selfish. Regardless of whether that's the motive or not having children is a lifetime responsibility than shouldn't be taken lightly.

Anonymous · Answer

cuz it is apart of the paradigm. Have kids and work like a dog until you are 65. Basically live your parents life. Did you know working is the worst way to earn money? You provide a service or product for money not go and work lol. People just don't get it. Then when some 23 year old is making more than doctors who spent 11 years to become a doctor people think they are a genius or some shit. We aren't.

Juxtapose · Answer

Yeah, you can deal with a fucking little brat waking you up at 3 in the morning while I sleep like a champ.

supercutebutt · Answer

If you don't want kids, don't have kids. The only frown that matters is your own.

backblueblack22 · Answer

I want kids but I’ve yet to find a woman who would make a decent mother.

Asianguy123 · Answer

Having kids don’t make you happy. Actually it’s the other way around. It’s a full time job with less satisfaction. I mean it’s k to have a kids depends on how you desire but having children is like old tradition when there are not many population in the world where people make a living by farming. They need a labor for field work so they get children. Other wise they can make a mess and drain financially and make you unhappy.

dolemite89 · Answer

cuz misery loves company 😂 people that have had kids secretly don’t want u to be happier than they are

nickaboy · Answer

Cause we live in a society where only a few things are considered to bring happiness in someone's life and having children is the only of them most People can do

Why is not wanting kids frowned upon?

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