How bad is it to be married to someone with Borderline personality disorder?

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately my mother displays many traits of BPD. According to my father, he explained she used to be different when he met her. She was a normal, sweet young 18-20 year-old at the time.

Then again, they never did cohabitation. They dated and moved in together after their wedding. He admitted that if he knew she was like that, he never would've married her. He got used to her intense mood swings, her thoughts that everyone is against her, her believe she can read people's minds and impulses (ex: spending all the money for the sake of it) by now and won't divorce her. At this point he continues staying out of compassion for her mainly but he's not the young woman he once loved.

If they were just boyfriend and girlfriend, you can break up at anytime. However, how bad is it once you already have kids and are married to someone with BPD?

Updates

+1 y

and she changes moods suddenly, going from extreme happiness to extreme sadness or anger

[Kaneki05]

Yup that sounds like BPD. Pretty much all my ex's have had it, it's a difficult thing to deal with but they also have that spark about them that makes them so likeable. It's pretty bad if you've married them without any idea of what your getting into.
If ya know beforehand and are learning how to deal with it much less so but still hard.

[Asker]

yeah my father is likely stuck by now. He's 68 years old and won't divorce her.

[LazerBean]

I don't understand how you don't notice that even if you don't cohabitate.

[Asker]

I think perhaps she didn't make it too obvious or it must have been dismissed as ''typical girly behavior'' thing.

[OldWorldOrder]

Pussy-whipped.

[slatyb]

Almost ruined my life.

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear that. You're finally free from that though. My father accepted his fate of continuing to age with her. He's now 68 years old and once said if there was a divorce (it would have to be filed by her), he wouldn't date at all and live a single life away from drama.