I’m financially helping my sister right now but she’s very wasteful how can I bring it up to her attention?

[Anonymous]

My sister and I have a helping relationship right now. I’m in between moving and staying with her. I help her with paying bills as well as buy supplies for the home. She is currently not working, neither is my brother in law. They are waiting for his SSI and she’s his caregiver so they are waiting on that too.

However these past months she’s been really inconsiderate on what I buy. For example toilet paper, we go through 20 rolls EVERY WEEK. I bought her cat litter and in less than 14 days she’s already out of it. After a few uses she uses new kitty litter instead of cleaning it. I bought her cat food and she feeds her every time the cat meows and like you know cats are ALWAYS asking for food.

Those are just some examples. I feel if I was t paying for things they would be more frugal. I’m debating just helping her with bills from now on because my brother in law doesn’t even appreciate my help and she’s so wasteful I’m getting resentful.

What would you do? Unfortunately I can’t move out at this moment but I’m working on it.

[Sparkie460]

Damn 20 rolls of toilet paper a week. There's 4 of us in my house and we go through one a day. I've got 5 cats and we go through I large box a month. Buy a bag of dry cat food and leave a bowl down for the cat to snack on. I feed wet food to my cats once a day. You need to have a serious talk with them about cutting back.

[Asker]

I know she’s being very wasteful and it’s pissing me off. Right now she gave the dogs a lot of food when they don’t want to eat. She’s been tossing it at night instead of putting it back in the bag 🤦🏻‍♀️

[Sparkie460]

Time to cut her off. Enough is enough.

[Blue1423]

Tell her that you need to speak with her and hope she takes it seriously. Address your concerns. If she's sensible enough she'll try to change and be concious on her wasteful behaviour. But if things get worse do be careful on her guilt tripping or make herself a victim or pitiful. Sister or not, you and your hardworked money are being taken for granted.

[XXblack88]

Wow! How do 3 people go through 20 rolls of tp in a week? I understand doing a deep clean of the litter box occasionally but not every time You clean it. I definitely would have a talk with both of them cause that's insane with how much they are going through on your income.

[Asker]

Yeah it’s making me mad because if it was them they would be way more frugal because they have been. I think I’m just going to contribute to hills and let them worry about the rest instead of buying them stuff from now on

[XXblack88]

👍🏻 good luck

[Anonymous]

You have to be direct and let her know what you think about what she's doing. She's your sister, don't be shy.

[Asker]

I’m not good at confrontations, how would I bring it up

[Opinion Owner]

Find a space to talk to her and be honest. It's uncomfortable, specially when is a family member you're talking to, I know because I went through something with my grandma, but you gotta speak up, there's no other way. She's important for you, you're important as well.

[JakeS00]

Maybe let her know her wasting problem because "we're" throwing money out the door.

[Asker]

I don’t know how to bring it up.

[JakeS00]

You just make it transparent and get right into it.

[Anonymous]

So it's a form of rent then because you live with her? If that's the case, I'd simply put a limit on what you buy/pay for (ie tell her "I can afford this per month and that's it). Then it's on her if she wastes it. And move out when you can.

[In_Trance]

cut her off

[Asker]

I think I’m going to have to, I’m on a budget