Should my sister at least help financially?

[kitty71]

My sister is married and she lives on her own. SHe is a bit of intense in her personality that it drives me crazy most of the time. She textxs and texts and want an answer as soon as possible and get mad if I dont answer right away.

The thing is that I live with my elder mom and my brother. My dad passed away 9 years ago so my brotehr and I take care of her and we all live at the smae house. My sister believes that my brotehr or me do nto take care well of our mom just because she can't check her out daily as she is married and lives in her own house so she is not in that control one of the reasosn she text me or my brotehr constantly to check on mom I mean it is fine she can check her out it is her mom too, but sometimes my sister nags too much and she gets all intense with us that we are not doing things that way it should be done or the way SHe likes things to be done.

ANyway my mom needs soem medical tests to be done, and part of those tests are paid by my mom own pension that my father left her. I mean im in charge of the house finances but I know is moms money. So my sister gets all intense and tell me did you pay that for mom, or did u make an appointment here and there and evceryday is the same thing with texts. For her is so easy to tell me pay this appointment pay there and she does not even collaborate in paying one doctor appointment or consultation, she relies that mom pays the appointment with her own money. I mean common she is her daughter too she can help and collaborate in at least paying part of it or help so my mom dont spend the whole money on it.

[WaterIsland]

I don’t believe that children should be responsible for paying their parents bills. It’s the parents responsibility to earn enough through their career to retire and live comfortably. Leeching off your children’s money is not ok.


That being said, I’d totally help my parents by giving them time, helping them manage things, and doing what I can to help. That can’t take over my entire life tho. I still have my life, and while I’m happy to help, it can’t consume my life 24/7 forever. Because I have a job and need to earn a living so I don’t need to leech off my children.


Your sister you said is married and moved out. So she has zero obligations to help financially. She isn’t living with you, so she doesn’t need to pay rent.


She’s entitled to share her opinion (after all it’s her mother too). But you don’t need to take her opinion unless she is willing to put in the time and effort required too. That does not mean she needs to contribute financially tho. But if she wants to take over and assist in managing a piece of your moms life, that is completely fine (even if she doesn’t help financially).

[kitty71]

For me children have to be there for your parents, as the parents were for their children why not reciprocate things becauase they are YOUR PARENTS!!!

[WaterIsland]

Ok. And that’s fine. But from a PURE logic standpoint. Your parents had their entire life to earn money. You have had less time to earn money.

It is perfectly reasonable to have your perspective. And it’s perfectly reasonable to say that supporting your parents financially isn’t fair to you (which is what I believe).

So you have to accept that your sister has a different perspective than you, and that’s ok.

[Nominal]

The thing that she asking if u done tasks likę u are stupid child XD got my attention. I calll it-psyhological abuse. Well, she could add value financialy. Even if the mother had to plan her life. But kids have to take care or how į call it - add value financialy.

[Jennz6]

Maybe, but she has to be the one to decide what is best.

[kitty71]

Why her? SHe does not live in the house with us. Me and my brother are the ones living not her

[Jennz6]

Maybe I didn’t understand the question

[roy_ricky09]

That's how every family is. Nothing new.
If you are earning, you can spend your money instead of your mother's. After all, all your life your parents spend on you guys for your upbringing and it's the responsibility of every child to take care of their parents when they are old.
If you don't like your sister being too much concerned, just tell her. Nothing wrong with it.
People who want to contribute, do not need to be asked, they just do.

[kitty71]

My sister does not contribute just give orders to do things

[roy_ricky09]

Then stop answering to her.
What about you? Are you living off with your mother's money?

[WowwGirl]

Woww

[Leopard23]

On one hand you and your bro are living rent free but if your sister wants a say ask her to contribute financially.

[Tonyblony5150]

Don't pay attention to your sister and pay more attention to yourself