My father gets mad at me for everything I do, now I'm hopeless. What should I do?

My father gets mad at me for everything I do, now Im hopeless. What should I do?

I am his first born child. I have 6 younger siblings, and since I am the oldest his expectations are higher for me than my siblings.

My father gets mad at me for everything I do, I don't feel free or good in his household. Whenever I'm in this house I just feel bored and depressed.

I know that he works very hard for me and my siblings, and he is a good dad. He tries his best and he has sacrificed a lot, but he keeps on getting mad at me.

I sat and played games while listening to music on my mom's phone,

(I don't have my own because he doesn't allow it even though I'm 14 going 15 later this year and starting highschool. I did even save up for one but he didn't allow me to buy a phone with my own money either.) He doesn't like me playing at all, even though I had nothing to do and it's Sunday, I wanted to relax.

He went to my sister who's younger than me by 1 year and asked where I was. He always stalks me and everything I do, he asks for me just so that he can complain as usual. I saw him and I ran with the phone to the kitchen as fast as I could, and he saw me and got mad. He never lets me do anything I like.

He has complained that he wanted me to read books more. Yesterday he got MAD at me for reading a book, and because my mom hasn't read it before I wasn't allowed to read it. I can't read whatever I want, he always picks out books for me, and my mom or him has to read them before I am allowed to read them. That's why I hate reading because I'm never allowed to pick anything I like. And he has to know every detail about what I'm reading. It's exhausting.

I'm not allowed to go outside either, not by myself. I'm not allowed to go outside without a parent, and because my parents never have time to take me outside I sit inside all day.

It's just so boring because I have nothing to do. I'm not allowed to play video games, read, go outside so I become depressed.

My dad also reads my diary and stalks everything I do. Advice?

My father gets mad at me for everything I do, now I'm hopeless. What should I do?
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