If it rude to ask my friend's girlfriend to no come on a group trip?

[Anonymous]

No one else is bringing a partner so it feels inconsiderate.

Yes

No

Updates

+1 y

Not*

[WindAtMyBack]

I don't think rude is the right word. It would certainly be awkward and possibly cause problems though. It could cause a lot of tension between him and his girlfriend, and maybe hurt your friendship with him also.

A guy's girlfriend or wife will be his priority, or at least it should be. It's a stage of life for guys to get girlfriends and get married, and their friends become a lower priority. That doesn't mean they lose their friends, but it's not the same as it used to be.

You have to allow this. Be happy for him. To do otherwise is to not allow him to grow and move on in life.

There may be times when it's justified to have some kind of special thing with the guys. But that's a "pass" that you have to be careful using.

[Asker]

Why should I be happy for someone who treats me as lesser, why invite either of them if I'm just some filler character or w/e

[WindAtMyBack]

You should be happy that your friend has a girlfriend. It's part of life. Do you want to hold him back? You don't want him to be happy in life?

[Asker]

When I ask for relationship I'm told "just wait" you don't need a relationship to be happy. If they think they need a relationship to be happy they need therapy

[WindAtMyBack]

You don't NEED a relationship to be happy. You don't NEED friends to be happy either. But both are a big part of people's lives.

Are you implying that just because you don't have a relationship that nobody else should either?

[Asker]

No, but I was intentional with who Invited

[Asker]

Would you go to a wedding you're not invited to?

[WindAtMyBack]

No, I wouldn't go to a wedding I wasn't invited to. I would care though.

[andreasderjuengere]

That's one sensitive ''issue'' :)

I'd rather not plan to go on that trip, unless my girl suggests on her own that she does not mind.

I'll always consider my partner's 'needs' before anyone else's.

As an exception, I'd see a club- or sports- event, or work-related trips.

[Asker]

I planned the trip, like why do I always need to work around others feelings but no one can considerate to mine.

[Asker]

But yea, you can take your sarcasm and leave, you sounds like a typical condesending asshole.

[andreasderjuengere]

ok, Karen :D /// Nothing of what you perceived had been my intention to say.

[JosyJosy]

That'd feel inconsiderate towards the girlfriend. If she wants to come why not? If their partners don't want to come, whatever.

[Asker]

Maybe none of have partners and are going on vacation to get away and relax, not deal with having to see people rub their relationship in our face?

[JosyJosy]

Why would they be bothered by 'relationships being rubbed in their faces' if they're in one themselves, why would that trigger them. Unless it's some toxic couple

[Asker]

You sound like a person who's unempathic towards lonliness

[JosyJosy]

You're not truly alone when you're going on a group trip.

[JosyJosy]

And as long as you're comparing yourself with others you're never going to be happy regardless of what it is

[Asker]

No, I picked the group specifically because they're my closest friends

[Asker]

And you sound like a typically person who doesn't understand the difference between being alone and feeling lonliness?

[JosyJosy]

I'm sure closest friend's partner is a likeminded person. Can't be a horrible experience.
I sound like... maybe I do, whatever floats your boat. TO ME, you're not alone with you're on your own right now, but have people to turn to, to talk to, to count on, who count on you. In my eyes you're truly alone when you have nobody to turn to at all.

[Asker]

It's that dismissive attitude towards lonliness that causes so many issues. Stigmatize mental health as a choice.

[JosyJosy]

Well, in my eyes the more the merrier, just one of person. If she's a fun person to be around with don't exclude her, especially when we talking loneliness, another friend can be worth lots if you invest time into it

[Blackcosmo]

That would make her feel left out so I don't recommend it. It's more about "individual" then thinking of it as "partner"

[Asker]

But what about the other people? Most of want to have a good time not have to watch people rub their relationship in our faces

[Blackcosmo]

If they're considerate they wouldn't do that. They'll just be normal.

[Asker]

And if they're not? Then a whole trip is ruined, money and time is wasted and used up vacation time

[Blackcosmo]

You could always ask them to not be all smoochy smoochy around y'all and it won't be a problem.
If you actually want to say that straight out to her then fine. I just suggested you shouldn't but you don't have to take my advice.