If your teenage son or daughter told you they were gay, would that change how you felt about them?

[msc545]

Assume that this information came as a surprise to you, and you had not known about it before being told.

[lightbulb27]

I don't think so, I accept people are gay/lesbian/etc... We've kinda had that "maybe I'm bi".

But it would engage me to figure out if something went wrong in their past that is impacting their perceptions of themselves. Anyone who doesn't understand that society/people are influencing other people with emotional distortions just doesn't understand humans.

That said, I suspect there are variations in people that might produce gal/lesbian/etc people and I accept that. However, I've also seen and hear of the scenarios where someone was hurt... abused/raped/imposed upon that distorts their perception of themselves, their development and thus leads to problems in development.

Watching a teen being raised now... I see the social pressures put upon her. She went to an off campus HS where nearly everyone said they thought they were "bi". What an F'd up mess that is if the child doesn't have strong parental supervision and wasn't pulled out of there. She gets this at current HS but to a lesser degree and she got plenty of parental guidance and direction to steer her back to reality that she likes males. Reality is... kids are developing and they don't know who or what they are. They need guidance.

Everyone can be scrwed up by other humans. That's a fact... And this is a very screwed up environment that is poisoning the minds of children... possibly on purpose. The only hope is the kid is strong enough to deflect the imposition by others or parents are very engaged and guide them.

God (love) help us... kids and their futures are being destroyed... by poisoned humans... including those catholic priests, they are guilty as well. humans...

[msc545]

"Guidance" is the same thing as social pressure in most cases.

[lightbulb27]

yes maybe... but these are "parents" and it's their job to guide their child. Social pressure comes from everyone else and anyone else who may influence the person.
There's a fine line somewhere in guidance and abuse... which gets into how "firmly" implanted the beliefs are instilled.

But thinking we should allow kids to make these decisions in the cesspool of society is... nuts. if people are going to throw their kids into the world, better expect them to come out scewed up... if they survive.

[msc545]

You said "she got plenty of parental guidance and direction to steer her back to reality that she likes males." which means that you talked her into at least telling YOU she liked males. She can probably determine this (or not) on her own.

[lightbulb27]

maybe you haven't had kids, experienced the fraglity or instability of some minds... especially female. some people are sensitie, easily persuaded and lead, and as well some females have unstable hormones that throw them into different states. she's very impressionable and just wants connection. allow her to make her own choices, is a mistake.

you never know, and if she is, she can decide when she's an adult, not a kid.

I'm confident when you are driving a car, you steer it. the car can do a lot on it' own and could make it's own choices... given the grooves in the road. But in the end, it needs guidance. so do people. If you've become convinced children/teens can make these decisions, then no wonder we've got problems.

kids don't know who they are or what they want. they want to be loved, secure... some of them.

after seeing this play out... no wonder we've got so many kids lost in the gutters of society... prostituties, on the street, drugged up. it be easy if they don'thave good structure and happens in spite of structure as well.
God help us!

[msc545]

I have a daughter, and of course, I worry about her, but I would never try to influence her in regard to her sexuality. I think doing so creates more problems than it solves considering sexual attraction is mediated by complex brain functions that neither you nor she has any control over no matter how much you think you do. People become aware of their sexual preferences after sexual maturity, which in girls occurs at about age 12 or 13.

[lightbulb27]

Do you believe children (12-15) can be lead into things that fundamentally, aren't good for them and not who they really are? Once they "take the bait and experiment", it leads to trouble and sometimes decades of lost life.

[msc545]

Yes, but not this. Why do you care what gender she is attracted to?

[lightbulb27]

I see her personality and she is easily influenced by others, so we work a lot on self esteem and confidence. The problem is if she drifts off, then she is unlikely to have her own kids, or she ends up very hurt and in therapy long time. She's already been in therapy due to traumatic events. So if she is straight, and I'm confident she is, and she's allowed to drift off into these other things society promotes, it could greatly impact her life... possibly damaging chance to have a family. I see her go boy crazy, she likes boys, but is challenged with understanding them. Fundamentally, she just wants to connect with people, be accepted and loved. That creates risks.

I respect your more hands off approach, my parents were like that with me. But given the personality I saw with her from early on, the parents are very engaged, we talk openly a lot and about anything. It didn't take much for her to conclude she is straight and to push back on other bi people pushing their agenda. But realize as well if she was under duress, she could have decided to experiment and gone down that direction. Kids are impressionable. Same discussion with alchol, drugs. Don't know your kiddo's age, but best advice I can give, is have a fully open door and discussion with them so you know what is going on and all impactful emotional events so you can help guide them through it. I wouldn't send a 12 year old into "Band of Brothers" type environment without a lot of training and prep, school and social media now in many ways, is just as risky... emotionally.

If someone is this or that, that's fine, it's their life. I've had gay and lesbian friends. I questioned them, tried to understand them and accepted them. Several times they agreed with my suspicion... that what influenced them were prior traumas. Not to say, the only inluencer in their course of life.

[lightbulb27]

My opinion is... you have to protect children emotionally. They can be emotionally imposed upon. Their body/brain/emotions/hormones are interrelated. They can be cast into directions, depending upon their guidance. Bruce Jenner was once a man was he not, even if he felt this or that? Kids aren't as strong as we'd like to think, they believe in santa and Easter bunny at some ages. They don't know what they don't know and can be mis-lead. A trauma here, an influence there, a new idea... and they go astray.
I accept there may be some who are wired different, but I doubt it is the large numbers we have today. Something like 8%+ of kids now identify as "not straight" or something, I'd have to look u the stat. That's way higher than in past.

[msc545]

There is no agenda, there is only Neuropsychology and Neurochemistry at work here.

[lightbulb27]

here's my challenge then. we take 100 kids randomly to an island. the goal... convert as many as possible into bi/lesbian/gay as possible and keep them alive. Would this number vary from the normal population? Anything goes... we control what influences them to reach our outcome.
I think the answer is yes... thus kids are influenceable, it isn't just genetics. As you would know, genes can... adapt and change right? there's a term for that I don't recall.
am I wrong?

[msc545]

You cannot "convert" people - it doesn't work that way.

[msc545]

It is in fact genetics. People are born with this stuff hardwired in, which is why "gay to straight" conversion programs don't work but do create massive amounts of depression which often leads to suicides. These programs are outlawed in many places for good reasons.

[lightbulb27]

might be semantics, but I'm not talking about converting... I'm talking about corrupting! Life is time boxed, can kids be sent off the wrong path and into "trouble", things that cause issues for decades. answer to me is resounding yes. one of those is all these experimental ideas.
I'll keep an open mind, I'm sure some people are wired this way. But not all that are being drug into it...
does not make sense.

[msc545]

People who are not wired for it get no pleasure from it. There are no reinforcers. Kind of like you probably have no sexual interest in men, right? Where do you think that disinterest originates?

[msc545]

At what age did you consciously decide you preferred women?

[lightbulb27]

don't recall, 11-13 maybe?
so you don't think we could convince kids to even explore a path they are not genetically? you think all bi people are bi genetically? it isn't hormones, or emotions... just genetics? Is that the science?

[msc545]

That is the science. People for years tried to "cure" homosexuality and it was a dismal failure every time. We now accept it as a harmless and normal variant in human behavior. It harms nobody.

[Juxtapose]

I'm bisexual and I would not give a single fuck.

[AsaKyo]

I would be disappointed, but it's their life, not mine so oh well

[whereismyjohnny]

Not at all.

[exitseven]

I would still love him and would want him to have the best life he could have but I probably would think differently about him at least at first. I had a friend who told me he was gay when we were 19. He was still my friend but it was different somehow.

[jongreat46]

No, but then again I am bi-sexual myself but most run the risk of being kicked out of the house if they came out to their parents for that, that is thanks to religious brainwashing.

[SmokinAces2000]

No I don’t care who other people date and that includes my kids however I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t have a slight issue with my daughter acting hyper masculine or my son acting hyper feminine

[Friendlybro79]

No it wouldn't. Life's too short to be miserable and to be miserable towards others.

[goaded]

Not in the slightest. I'd still hate them. (For the humour impaired: that was a joke!)

[TroyDT]

I'd be too shocked to react. After all I would have just discovered as a 27-year-old sterile male that I had a teenage child.

[Anonymous]

I hope not, but that's a long way from happening.

[Mynameisbobby]

No not at all

[NathanDavis]

nope

[panamared1]

Not at all