Ever become friends w/ someone secretly hoping to date but once confronted w/ possibility, denied it & avoided advancing friendship? If so why?

[VIVANT]

& Yes I have. It was “secret” bc i was secretly hiding the fact from myself. My penchant for honest introspection is thoroughly impressive but latent & fraught with pride.

How ‘bout you?

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Yea

No

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[Andres77]

As I got to know her a little better I started to realize that she just wasny for me and it came to a head when the situation presented itself that I could visit her late one night and no one would know, she was begging for it…I told her I couldn’t. It was a relationship I just couldn’t commit to. She would have let me use her but I loved her enough as a friend not to cross that line.

[VIVANT]

We’re you worried it would ruin the friendship?

[VIVANT]

Maybe she just wanted sex 🤷🏻‍♀️

[VIVANT]

I’m curious what was it you realized she wasn’t fr you. All separate questions lol sorry 😊

[VIVANT]

Also I respect your honesty 👍🏼 just wondering about the rest

[Andres77]

She had a troubled past. Much worse than mine and she’d need therapy to get past her trauma. Not another broken person (me, before I got my therapy) to get entangled with. And I like raunchy but she was willing to go places that I wasn’t prepared to deal with. I kept in contact for a while and it seemed that she was better but that was because her new husband hadn’t shown his true colors yet. Then we lost contact. So I don’t know where she is now.

[RealMarek]

Sort of. When I was young my friend’s girlfriend and I became friends. They were a horrible match and there was natural chemistry between her and me. But I felt loyalty to my friend so never made any advances toward her. I didn’t stop being friends, but never tried to date her either. Then we all went our separate ways and fell out of touch.

[xJayleenx]

Yes kind of, back in high school I did that I liked that he could sing so I sat with him during lunch everyday became his friend he ended up getting a fiance right after he graduated and while he was still engaged to her, he was asking me if I wanted to have a threesome with him I immediately blocked him and I don’t think that him and his fiance are together anymore.

[melanieeeB]

Nooo, you should never put yourself into the friendzone. If you secretly want more, leave or speak up... that's not a true friendship

[VIVANT]

I don’t think it’s necessarily conscious tho I wouldn’t recommend it of course if it was conscious. Also I think you can become real friends even if you like them tho again I agree it’s not ideal. Sone people have difficulty distinguishing between a crush and wanting to be friends bc in both cases you are drawn to the person. 😊

[SnowedIn]

Yes. Happened several times when I was much younger. Wasn't fun. Realized that although I would have enjoyed sex with them, I also enjoyed their friendship and would have preferred that long term.

[VIVANT]

Could’ve dated tho? We’re you sure it would not last?

[SnowedIn]

Sorry... I realize I didn't phrase that well. When I was younger I did the thing where I friended so we could date. The dating didn't go well and the friendship collapsed. That sucks. I also, again, much younger, tried to friend hoping to date and the dating wasn't what she wanted. In a childish, immature passive aggressive way, I avoided advancing the friendship out of anger and jealousy. I worked on that and don't do that, but admit to my idiocy at the time.

[AdithyaR]

The only reason i become friends with someone is because i wanna be friends. I don't keep any other expectations.
I don't date someone who's my friend either.

[VIVANT]

Very reasonable. Tho, People can hope for something withoit expecting it and also not be aware at the time 😊

[AdithyaR]

True, all the more power for others. But I'd personally never open myself to date a friend. Cause if it unfortunately ends, i risk losing my friend as well.

[NathanDavis]

nope... never

way too risk for me to even try something like that

[VIVANT]

What’s the risk?

Funny I didn’t even think of this as “trying “ more like stumbling into 😂

[NathanDavis]

well, for me... when it comes to both, either, friendships and/or relationships, I do put a lot into it right away... and I "draw" as much from people

so, if I started something... and then I switched onto something else, it could be more messy, it could get intense so, me being myself... I rather be more open as well as constant

[VIVANT]

Makes sense 👍🏼

[MysticDevice]

I usually chickened out when the notion was brought up 😅. But now that its hard to find people I probably won't anymore.

[VIVANT]

😂 honest 😌👏🏼

Why is it hard now?

[MysticDevice]

Its haed because I work nights, I don't really go out because I don't like the crowds that frequent most of these places. But mainly, the girl who would be exactly my type would to the same thing: stay home and keep to herself. So you see the problem lol 😅

[VIVANT]

Yup yup lol

[MysticDevice]

Yeah. Haven't stopped looking though. Just have to get creative

[VIVANT]

I hear you 😆 good luck 😌

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Lol all that talk about your friend who had crush on you , and now you reveal this 🤣🤣🤣

[VIVANT]

Huh?

[DancingQueen16]

Well I did have a big crush on one of my best friends for years and a few months before we graduated high school I was thinking of telling him I liked him but I chickened out

[Jamie05rhs]

Nope; can't say that I have. I've never had the "possibility." The light has never been green. I've waited for it to turn green, but it always stays red. (Good thing I have Engine Stop/Start. Haha. Because otherwise I would be out of fuel by now.)

[Anonymous]

They say you can't be friends with the opposite sex,, unless they are old for a reason... Once you pass that line, you can't go back. And if things go bad you lose that friend..

[Bethany22]

Hasn't happened to me

[VIVANT]

Thanks Beth 😊

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, this once happen to me with a crush I had, she moved away and never stayed in contact with me.

[Sevenpointfive]

yes many times. if i was an asshole i would've taken advantage of it

[Jennz6]

I don’t have friends

[VIVANT]

Yes you do 💜

[pizzalovershouse]

No cuz I rather date someone who has intrest in me

[humanearth]

Yes, back when I was young like you

[Debbie14217]

yes i have

[VIVANT]

What happened Debbie?

[Debbie14217]

we dated for awhile till he moved away

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, If I like her, I'm certain about it.

[Anonymous]

No, lol.

[User3191989]

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