What does it mean if an ex boss (now “friend”), messages you to tell you her grandpa passed away?

[User3191989]

She wasn’t my boss for very long but we text. I am usually the one to text her first. What does it mean if she did it this time, even if it’s about something like her grandpa passing. She didn’t need to come to me about it, she’s married

[jennifer_bloom]

I would not interpret it as romantic interest, she probably wants emotional support and sympathy to make coping with her pain easier and she might be exploiting the fact that you have an obligation to be nice to her because she is a potential job reference of yours. Maybe she does not believe non obligated people will have the desire to comfort her during her pain or maybe she does not want to burden family who are just as sad as she is.

[User3191989]

I'm working again, so it's not like I need her

[User3191989]

But, I still don't understand, if she's married, why she needed to tell ME!

[jennifer_bloom]

Maybe she does not want to burden her husband cause it could hamper the quality of her connection with her.

[User3191989]

How so

[jennifer_bloom]

Anytime you burden a person with your problems, you increase the debt you owe them and the debt they believe you owe them, so confiding in an outside person they don’t have to see every day might be less burdensome to your lifestyle than confiding on a person you will see every day

[User3191989]

But I don’t owe her anything, nor does she

[Guy13]

She wants company, hug, and someone to cry too. Sometimes they can not eat and do not feel like cooking. A balanced and freshly prepared meal can do wonders for you both.