An old friends with benefits texts me at 3am saying “I miss you”?

[Anonymous]

I decided to end things with my friends with benefits a month ago. We were consistently hooking up for a year. I ended it because I caught feelings and he has told me he didn’t want a girlfriend. I didn’t get upset. I simply told him that we shouldn’t continue anymore. He would still text me twice out of the week. I would respond with the exact same message saying I wasn’t going to be an option anymore. All he said was okay and didn’t say anything for about a week. Well last night around 3am he texted me saying “I miss you”. I figured he just wanted sex but I know he has other options so why won’t he leave me alone?

[DamienDreams]

Everything that's been said (so far) has been right on. His other fwbs weren't available (maybe they got wise, too), he can't stand the fact that he lost an object from his friends with benefits "inventory," and I would add that when we know (or believe) there's something we can't have, it makes us want it more.

Good for you for ending that chapter of your life. And no judgment from my end at all (from one chapter-turner to another). I hope you will do everything you can to keep that chapter closed, because if you reopen it, you'll eventually regret it. (Says the guy who thought it'd be a good idea to "reread" his own chapter and absolutely regrets it now *beating myself with a wire hanger*).

[DamienDreams]

Thank you for MHG! 😊

[Glue-Sniffer]

I think the best thing you could do is to talk to him frankly. Tell him you are ready for something more serious now than friends with benefits and you can't be with him anymore since he isn't looking for a relationship. If he really misses you and wants to be with you outside of a friends with benefits relationship then he'll probably tell you. If not then you have some closure and can move on with your life.

[Asker]

I did say that to him multiple times and he still continues to text me.

[Glue-Sniffer]

Then you should block his number. There is no reason to keep in touch with him.

[Porcelaine]

Typical. Guys start missing the girl when she is no longer throwing herself at him. Good for you for ending it. Any guy who was using you as friends with benefits does not want you as a girlfriend not now or later. He may have options but it's always easier to contact someone that is usually saying yes. I wouldn't take it seriously. It was 3am. He may have been drunk or just horny.

[Guyvo]

He can't stand it he'd lost an option.

[spartan55]

His other options weren't available that night.