What the problem?

[Anonymous]

I really want to make friends online and hope for getting a boyfriend too. But every platform I have tried so far I got guys who are so sweet at the first, they are complimenting on my pictures a lot. Little by little we chat more and I let them know that I'm not up for weird things (like hook up, fun chats , and non veg chats etc, you know what I mean?) . I clear my boundaries.
In return, they immediately or slowly stop responding. I'm like that was that. At first I thought I was overthinking. But it happens everytime. Even in real life it happened once and I was heart broken.
I wanna know what's the deal, seriously.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ay girl, I feel you. Making friends online can be tough, especially as a girl cuz there's so many creeps out there. A few things could be going on:

- A lot of guys are only looking for something casual or just wanna flirt, not actually be friends. Soon as you say no hookups, they bounce cuz that's not what they want.

- Some like the idea of chatting up a cute girl but lose interest once the conversation gets deeper and they have to invest more time/effort.

- Could be you unintentionally give off "I'm not looking for anything serious" vibes through pics or initial interactions, so they're caught off guard when you clarify your intentions.

My advice - be more selective with who you give your socials to. Watch for red flags like guys who move too fast or are all about your looks. Try friendlier sites like Bumble BFF too where you can state you just want platonic connections.

Also don't be afraid to straight up tell people before exchanging anything private that you're looking for genuine friends only. Might weed some dudes out but the right ones will respect your boundaries, girl! Keep your head up.

[Asker]

I have tried that too. and I'm sure my pictures doesn't give off that vibe. Maybe it's bad luck only.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh dude that's super frustrating! It sounds like you've been really proactive about setting boundaries and filtering out guys just looking for hookups. At this point it does seem like it might just be crappy luck running into dudes who aren't being genuine.

A few other things that may help - consider putting less pressure on yourself to find a boyfriend right away. Some guys can sense desperation and it might attract the wrong types. Focus more on making platonic friends first, both guys and girls, to expand your social circle naturally.

You could also ask your new friends to keep an eye out for genuine single guys they think you'd vibe with. An introduction through people you both know gives more context than just chatting online. Online will always come with weirdos, so diversifying how you meet people could yield better results.

Lastly, keep valuing yourself - don't let rejections get you down. You seem like a cool girl with your head on straight. The right guy for you is out there and will appreciate you for you. Don't lose hope! Feel free to hit me up if you ever want a dude's perspective or just to vent. You got this.

[funwithmee]

even IRL making good relationship is getting harder. think about the virtual ones

[Asker]

I don't know anymore. I kind of become a loner from sometime. I don't wanna get out and talk to people. I feel people out there are selfish.

[funwithmee]

yeah but dont stop trying we are social animals and need accompanies to live a good life

[Asker]

I wanna do that, but it's difficult.

[_Maya_]

The problem sounds like that most of the guys on those apps you are on are looking for a quick score and get in your pants. As soon as you let them know that isn't going to happen they move on. Either you aren't very lucky with the guys that contact you or that is just what the majority of them are on the app for. It doesn't sound as if they want to put any effort into actually getting to know you and are hoping for a hookup and then move on. Just stick to your boundaries and don't give in just because you haven't had luck. I also suggest trying to get out and meet people face to face. I haven't heard very many good things about dating apps.

[Asker]

That's explains why. Thanks 🌹 . I kind of knew it.

[_Maya_]

You're welcome and that sure seems like what is going on to me.

[7Phoenix7]

I don't think it's a good idea to pursue romance on the internet. It's better to see people face to face, interact, notice their body language, hear their tone of voice etc.

I don't understand why you're making it a point to do it online only. It's better to meet people naturally who share similar interests as you and who you naturally click with. Not saying you can't meet and make friends online but it's harder.

[Asker]

Because I can't actually go out and talk to people. I don't have my friends nearby anymore. Maybe I'll try that too. But since we have online platform I was giving it try and it only gives false hopes. Or I'm unlucky.

[7Phoenix7]

You're not unlucky, it happens to all of us. Why can't you go out?

[Asker]

Well, I can go out but I don't have people around who are same age as mine.

[7Phoenix7]

Ok, my old friends also live far away so I know how that can suck..

The friends I have now I met at my job. I used to dance a lot at a dance studio, met some nice people there too. Try meeting people through activities that you enjoy as well.

Also since you're trying your luck online, maybe try the group meet up apps where people who share the same interests and also want to meet new friends are.

[Asker]

I'm not desperate. But you know what I mean. I'm fed up with the online thing.

[7Phoenix7]

Yep, totally understand lol..

[Abbycado]

Problem is that dating apps suck in general from what I hear.

[Asker]

Yeah, it sucks 😓

[Abbycado]

Sorry girl. :(

[spartan55]

Why are you trying for that online?

[Asker]

Shall I not do that? Isn't social media and those friendship platform meant for that reason. I'm just trying. It's for genuine cause. Haha.

[spartan55]

You will fail guaranteed.

[Asker]

Yeah, tried and failed.

[spartan55]

Has to be real life, in person. Not online.

[Asker]

Why are you so adamant, huh

[spartan55]

Lots of experience.

[elizamichale1]

Honey it's going to be extremely difficult to find a boyfriend on here

[sexyyBoy]

No problem baby😘

[Asker]

Your profile name is suggestive, haha

[sexyyBoy]

😅yes

[sexyyBoy]

What about my body? Is it thought-provoking?

[sexyyBoy]

Want to see a full size picture?😅

[Asker]

Wtf man

[sexyyBoy]

Okey bebek