How do I answer this they are 17 years old?

[jenny1978]

my daughter has 2 friends over we live in Florida it is currently 79 degrees. my daughter and her taller of the 2 friends has a one piece bathing suit on and the other friend has jeans and a t-shirt on. my daughter came to me and asked if it was ok for the girl in jeans to be in her underwear i said no.

[caring__1]

In less than a year, these girls will be considered adults and capable of making their own decisions. Whatever you haven't already planted in their heads by now will not be planted in their heads in the months remaining. Rather than do their thinking for them, show them you believe in their ability to think for themselves. Be a sounding board rather than an authoritarian. Ask them to share their thoughts about the challenge facing them, what options they considered and what they see as the pros and cons of each option. Rather than project your fears and hangups on them, let them decide what works for them... as long as they understand any potential consequences of their choices. There is a big difference between sunning in one's underwear in a private location versus a public location. Also, most underwear tends to cover more than the bathing suits you see women wearing at the beach. Ask yourself whether this is about your own personal issues or whether you feel these girls are too stupid to think for themselves.

[jenny1978]

i forgot to mention the girl in jeans is 14 she is the youngest of my daughter friends

[caring__1]

Unless she's being pressured into it by the older girls, 14-year-olds are also capable of processing information and making decisions that make sense to them. There is also the option of sharing bathing suits. As long as this won't be in a public setting, I see no problem with whatever they choose... but let them make the choice rather than do their thinking for them.

[SiberFox]

If anything go buy her a bathing suit, but honestly telling her no is the best.
I personally think women should dress modestly especially teenage and young women.
No, they're not asking for it, but men who will act upon sight of this don't care for the law or its consequences, you have to both be aware and protect yourselves from this.

[Summeroflove]

You have a choice on who you allow into your house and who you don’t. If someone is going to someone’s house. If someone can’t have common decency to where your daughter is even uncomfortable with it.


Maybe it is time for that one to go.