If someone bullies or cheats without feeling guilt or remorse are they twisted people?

[ChicanaChick]

My mother's former supervisor was like that. My mom was horrified to hear how that lady was once bragging about bullying others in her school years. She didn't feel one bit sorry about it. She actually enjoyed it. One of her friend's husband cheated with her and she felt no guilt at all. My mom quitted that job weeks later. She was disgusted to be associated with such person.

Even if they don't go overboard into committing crimes, are people like her twisted with serious issues?

Updates

+1 y

Supposedly having guilt and/or remorse helps you progress and stops you from making the same mistakes. Without that, then I'm guessing the person is forever stunt in life and can't learn anything, likely to repeat the same offenses over and over.

[inhua]

hard to say these days. what we consider to be twisted seems rather normal particularly among Millennials and Gen Z and what we consider to be decent and moral may actually be in the minority.

a lot of words get spoken but actions will always speak louder. sure, society likes to preach and virtue signal against bullying and cheating but people still do nonetheless.

bullying and cheating probably happens far more often than the statistics imply. we've simply learned to bury and keep our bad experiences within ourselves and thus we don't report it.

also no matter how much we dissuade such behavior, it often gets rewarded. bad boys who were bullies throughout their school years tend to do very well with women for the rest of their lives far more than men who were bullied as boys, not only getting the bad girls but also the good girls and girls who were bullied too. often, a cheating girlfriend or cheating wife gets rewarded with the guy who they were truly attracted to as opposed to their boyfriend or husband, they may or may not keep him but in that brief moment she got what she wanted.

basically, society does a horrible job at punishing bad behaviors. you know the world is messed up when criminals can receive love letters and get laid more than the average law-abiding man who gets dumped, divorced, cheated on, emasculated etc.

[ChicanaChick]

That woman at the time was likely around my mother's age, in her mid-late 20's. So right now she must be around 49 to early 50's.
A couple days before mom quit that job, she was promoted as a manager. My mom was disgusted and shocked at how a callous person without any empathy for the pain she caused to others can rise and succeed. That woman was with her 2nd husband and had a child with him too. Apparently she had no problems getting a man to propose. I'm guessing they are similar to the bad guys, those women like her are successful in getting what they want.

[Chazmatazz269]

It’s likely, but not necessarily the case. Some people have to learn empathy. If she’s never been cheated on and she’s never been bullied, she has no idea how that feels; lacking sympathy. For lack of sympathy, we try to teach people empathy. If nobody did that for her, it’s not necessarily her fault. On the other hand, if she’s experienced those things and didn’t much like it, or if she cares about people that those things happened to and still she bears no sympathy or empathy, she’s almost certainly a sociopath or a psychopath. Most likely the latter. Sociopaths often learn to fake social behaviors to fit in whereas psychopaths just don’t give a shit. Ell oh ell!

[Jdjfjcjj]

You don't need to be cheated on to know it doesn't feel good. Otherwise they wouldn't try and hide it.

[Chazmatazz269]

You are mistaken.

[Ms_Facesitter]

No, twisted is on a whole other level. But that doesn't make cheaters or bullies any better. Stay away from those people.

[ChicanaChick]

yeah and I don't blame my mom for quitting that job. She felt disgusted to have such person as a boss.

[Kaneki05]

Depends on perspective. One could say it's normal because it's survival trait, another could say it's twisted because in our society as it stands we don't tolerate that stuff.

Lack of empathy is a interesting thing because it's only bad to those with empathy.

[Kaneki05]

Also another interesting thing is it can actually appear to be a lack of empathy but be more just a better acute understanding of it.

[Jdjfjcjj]

If someone doesn't feel remorse, it would definitely seem that they are as you describe but they may internally, feel guilt/shame about why they are the way the are.

[aaron210419]

You have to watch for their intentions and whether their capable of true empathy, these are some characteristics of a narcissist.

[CallmeTheKnight]

No they're not twisted. They just don't give a crap because nobody ever put them in their place

[Anonymous]

“Quitted” is not a word.

The past tense of “quit” is “quit.”

[Anonymous]

I believe the term is called psychopathic

[ChicanaChick]

True. Sadly they're unredeemable people. They're never understand the hurt they cause to others.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that. Had my fair share too. It’s very very tough.

[ChicanaChick]

I haven't dealt with anyone like that yet. That was my mother's encounter with that supervisor whom then was promoted as manager a couple days before mom quitted that job. She was very disgusted to have her as a boss.

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes. They are very twisted and evil people.

[ChicanaChick]

At some point, I thought there was a way of still reaching them, getting them to understand the pain they're causing to other but wow they're a lost cause.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm not sure. Maybe so.

[ChicanaChick]

I just read another story of a bully who lacks remorse. She's 26 and fails to understand why her actions are bad. Do you think this woman can changed or is she a lost cause?
www.city-data.com/.../...-good-i-shouldnt-try.html

[ChicanaChick]

She had a boyfriend and used to bully his sister during their HS years. Base on the lady's hurt and pain over it years later, it must have been bad. When confronted, instead of apologizing she insulted her again with the old HS nickname, threw rice pudding on her and laughed. Her boyfriend walked in on her doing that and broke up.

[Jamie05rhs]

@ChicanaChick Wow.

... Yeah, you may be right. She may be a lost cause. Especially since she's posting the story on the internet looking for sympathy and support.

[sixsixsix]

Probably a narcissist

[ChicanaChick]

and yet that woman had her 2nd husband at the time and also had a child with him. Isn't that shocking? Those narcissists women like her still succeed in life (she became a manager a couple days before mom quit) and get rewarded with marriage. They're like the female version of the bad guys... they also get everything what they want in life.

[Alex8736]

narcissistic personality disorder.

[ChicanaChick]

I would like to think there is some hope for someone like that but I'm guessing not.

[Alex8736]

they think everyone else is fugged up but them 😇

[ZenJen444]

Does it matter?

[ChicanaChick]

At some point I wanted to believe there is some hope for those people, that they'll one day see the hurt they cause to others.

[ZenJen444]

🤣tuh, that'll be the day

[hammeronfire]

I believe so, yes

[Anonymous]

Usually sociopaths

[ChicanaChick]

It sucks they'll never be normal people.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah there’s probably no way to reform

[Anonymous]

🤣🤣🤣