Why is it rare for bullies to be genuinely sorry?

[Anonymous]

I find this rare. I've had a hard time during my younger school years. It all stopped in HS. I've only received two apologies but they don't count at all.

The 1st apology was in 7th grade. I hit the girl back and we were going to get suspended. She didn't want to get suspended, expect me to just forget about it and all of the sudden the waterfall and ''boo hoo, I'm sorry (my name)''. Yeah right, the typical ''Sorry I got caught'' apology''. This felt like an insult to me and I didn't accept her ''sorry''.

The 2nd apology was in 8th and these two classmates knew they would never see me again. My parents were moving to another city. Just the day before and even the whole morning and practically whole afternoon (until telling them I'm moving), they were having fun bullying me. So just because you'll never see me again and miss bullying me, you're suddenly sorry.

But seriously why is it becoming rarer for bullies to genuinely apologize? Apologizing because you're about to get suspended or because you're told they're moving doesn't count.

Updates

+1 y

I actually feel more insulted when it's one those fake or last minute apologies. I prefer no apology than a fake one. It's not sincere, doesn't come from the heart and there is no change; you're still shitty person. You haven't learned.

[QuadDamage]

An ex of mine was so bullied she had massive self esteem issues (not strange people had told her she was too tall and ugly half her life). There was nothing wrong with her body or looks what so ever.

The people bullying her would still be of this mindset in their 20's. Disgusting people, fakes.

I honestly do not wish anything well for those folks at all. When you're that age and still act like that. I do not care what you've been through. You do not take your own shit and project it on someone to the extent of them considering ending their lives.

And even when the person tells them this. They carry on... that's very evil and cruel!

This was over 15 years ago and it still makes me just as pissed off rethinking of this girl, as it did then 🤬🦖

[Asker]

Yes these pathetic people rare changed. In both of my example, they weren't sorry at all. I'd rather get no apology than insincere ones. A fake apology further pisses me off. It's like getting offended twice, first for being a shitty bully and then for lying to me, which means they're still a shitty person and haven't learned anything nor changed.

[QuadDamage]

F*ck em! You're awesome! 🌹

Cowards...

[Anonymous]

They were abused as children by their parents or family, so they think their behavior is normal. When someone is abused as a child, they either become an abuser or they become the savior, which means the savior hates bullies and abusers and tries to prevent it from happening to others. A lot of anti-bullying agencies are run by saviors.

So they think it is a normal thing because their parents had harsh punishments and told them they loved even though they were abusive.

It happens a lot in America.

[Asker]

Just because they were abused doesn't really excuse them to take their problems on others. Making someone have a miserable time at school isn't a mistake but a choice they make.

[Opinion Owner]

I totally get that, but I don't like how the parents are never held accountable for their actions, and they just use their child as the scapegoat.

We need to implement the same laws that the Nordic countries have, where no parent is allowed to hit their child, and every parent has to go to therapy so that way they pick up on child abuse early.

I am going to leave a link to an anime. I know it's an anime, but it shows you what I am talking about.

https://youtu.be/Qp9BILFP1rU

[Guy13]

Because they would not be bullies if they had feelings for others. Feelings are required to know what Sorry is and what Sorry is not.

[Asker]

Yes they're coward. The girl in my 1st example, sure she stopped bullying me since but she tried to fake a ''friendship'' to avoid trouble and avoid getting hit back again. She was a bystander when someone else bullied me and would walk away. The following school year, I learned she actually hated me. So basically she would've wanted to continue bullying me and get away with it, lol.

[Guy13]

Hey, you women suck and are vicious in a whole different way then the man...

[Asker]

So someone that bullies you and isn't even sorry deserves to be forgive an forgotten? I have no problems giving former bullies a 2nd chance if they were genuinely sorry and learned from it, but not to fake, hypocrites.

[Guy13]

Narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths interpret second chance as weakness and a sign that you like it and con not live without the Abusive behaviors. Go the F-on and forget about them.

[Summeroflove]

If they repent of it. Yea. Some feel bad later in life. Others are too reprobated

[Asker]

If they truly repent, nowadays it's easy to find the one you bullied on social medias. They can easily find me on Fb or youtube but they're too much of a coward.

[Asker]

I have no problems forgiving and forgetting but only if the apology is real and genuine, not a fake one.

[Summeroflove]

They’re not worth your time or energy. They’re probably smocking crack under a bridge for all you know these days.

[Summeroflove]

It’s better to forgive. People who hurt don’t care you’re angry. Revenge will only get you into trouble and can always backfire.

It’s good to forgive for your own sake as well as if needed see a mental health professional.

[Asker]

I feel sad for their future kids. Those children are going to have bad role models as parents and then the bullying cycle continues.

[Summeroflove]

Yes that’s true. And unfortunate.

[Anonymous]

because they're jerks who have no empathy towards other people.

[Asker]

Yes they're so pathetic. Apologizing just because you're going to be suspended tells me nothing. It just tells me that an authority figure needed to put you in your place or else you wouldn't have stopped bullying me.

[Opinion Owner]

exactly