I don’t know what to do in this toxic house anymore?

[Anonymous]

I live in the UK, I’m 18 and I get abused at home by abused i mean mentally I get shamed for having mental illnesses, no one understands or listen everyone in this family thinks money solves everything instead of taking their child to doctors to get psychological help they think putting money in our pockets will solve it. Before anyone comes and says your so young be grateful you sound like a brat, actually I went through a lot of childhood trauma and things that you have probably had to never experience in your life despite being older than me, I don’t have any family members I can trust and go too as some live abroad some are way too backwards and probably be on my parents side and tell me but I’m being selfish and guilt trip me like they all do into thinking I’m a disgraceful little brat but whay they do is they fuck up my head and do things to me behind closed door no one sees that side they only see what my parents side. I’m so fucking sick of it , every time this happens I hurt myself I can’t take it anymore I didn’t go uni because they ruined me so bad that I couldn’t focus on my education they would compare me to everyone else’s child and make me feel worthless. I don’t know if I should just run away but I have no where to go. Any hateful replies will get blocked

[lightbulb27]

your at a stage in life where you are starting to take control of your life. most wonderful feeling is when you can take control and responsibility for results and can make decisions. other people telling you what to do and such, we'll.. they can't.

It sounds like your support system at home is not good and maybe you have to support them. That's a tough spot. Other kids have done it, there's people on GAG who are kinda in similar position, I've seen their posts.

One day at a time, meditate to heal your brain... because the stress of instability will slowly erode you. the cutting is a way to escape the emotional pain.

Find positive outlets and solutions. Just changing a few things makes a big difference:

* Practice gratitude and thankfulness - say to yourself, write it down, etc.. Always find things you can be thankful for and dwell on that.

* Breathing - practice breathing deep and when under stress/challenge.

* I don't know your reality enough to say... run out, that might be worse. But setting some goals to save money and be responsible.

I suspect they are as frustrated as you are if you have mental illnesses. Those issues have roots into childhood and need addressed. You should get therapy, if you get $, then get help. you can do that by watching videos, reading books, finding support groups, meditation, going to church and praying to God, praying all the time. Anything that is positive will change your thinking and perspective.

* Set some fun goals that are challenging and reward yourself. Just posting this quetsion was achallenge, so take a moment and be thankful for yourself, your strength, and the life you have ahead.

Dream a bit. relax... take a walk in the woods, exercise!

And eat a good diet... helps. cut the sugar and stress foods.

Also doing what feeds you... like try helping someone else for a few moments, even an animal. It feels good.

[Asker]

thank you so much for your help, yes I need to find positive solutions. I’ve decided to spend more time working on myself I keep saying it doing it for abit but not being consistent I want to start going on walks & find healthier coping methods

[lightbulb27]

that's the way to anyplace better. keep a journal, log your progress and how you feel at each step. nothing wrong with bad feelings, stress and frustration. those are all just communications from inside you that says something you don't like and change is needed. It's all motivation. watch the TED talk on stress, it's life changing. Much to learn, much life to live. you can do it!

[Starbers99]

You need to leave as soon as you can for your own mental health. You're lucky in one way, they think giving you money helps - it will, start saving the money, start using your time to learn new skills, if you're good e. g. social media stuff, start looking at jobs to do with marketing and social media etc. Start making plans for the great escape. The longer you stay there, the more ill they will make you. Good luck and feel free to DM me if you need further advice or support.

[Asker]

I’m very financially unstable (if that’s the correct word) I don’t have savings, I’m my mums carer so the gov pay me £69 per week, and i get money from parents as I do house work and take care . It’s just I don’t know where I would go even if I did have loads of money to my name it wouldn’t be enough to buy accommodation or rent , if I go to my council tell them I’m homeless I don't know of that would be right thing to do, my friends none of them can take me in and let me move in as they live with their families or are at uni which I 100% understand as I wouldn’t be able to let anyone live with me if I was still living with family. Thank you so much for your help

[Starbers99]

Ah right, sorry - it sounded like you were quite well off because you mentioned money. Who makes you feel bad about yourself? Your parents? Siblings? Unfortunately we live in a very cruel and ignorant society and people do not understand mental illness. You need to limit the damage to your mental health so you might need to go to the council and ask for help. You can also approach Mind or another similar charity www.mind.org.uk/.../ Do you mind sharing where you are based in the UK? As I said, you can share in private if you prefer.

[Asker]

yeah they do take me shopping and buy me expensive things etc and do give me a lot of money but not a lot of money all at once as they know I’ll spend it irresponsibly and on things I don’t ‘need’. Thank you so much for your help I will follow you to message you x

[Asker]

I just followed you but it won’t let me message you I think you need to follow back, also on my profile i put my age older than 18 as I didn’t want people knowing my real age x

[Guy13]

Good luck with your status.

[Asker]

thank you really appreciate this