My house is destroyed?

[Anonymous]

Ever since my sister and her two kids moved in with me, my apartment has been destroyed. I typically stick to myself in my room because I can’t stand to look at it anymore. I was getting ready for work this morning and one of my drawers came off the hinges in the kitchen…… previous to that, she took off and lost the handle to the bedroom door she stays in, the carpet is also coming up in that room. I am livid… she’s not on my lease and yet keeps destroying my place like it’s hers to destroy. She swears up and down my apartment was messed up before she got here and I swear it was not at ALL. My aunt has shown me pictures of her last house and how she destroyed that too.

I let her move in because they’d be homeless if I didn’t. She doesn’t work… so it’s not like she’s helping me with much aside from her sons ssi money to pay for the internet and electric.

I have asked her to move out, but she says she needs time to get things in line. It’s been two years of me regularly asking about her employment status (she has not worked since she moved in) and there’s just no movement. I’ve already told her that I am not resigning my lease and it’s up on April. She’s still not doing anything.

I already know that my property management will charge me for the damages but will they take it out of the security deposit or will they charge me separately? Also, what can I do in the meantime to not lose my fuckin shit?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

If the lease is in your name, the landlord will charge you for the damages. If your sister struggles to do things on her own, drop her off at the local job center and tell her you can’t take her home until she’s applied for 10 jobs online. And then come back and do it tomorrow. Make sure the contact info she puts in is your phone number so she can’t say they never called. I understand you’re frustrated but you’re clearly struggling with setting hard boundaries with your sister. Drop the kids off for the day and start driving her around to look for a job. Tell her she has one month to get a job or you’re kicking her out with the help of the police, that she has overstayed her welcome and if she refuses to contribute to the household beyond government assistance that she should be paying you anyway, she’s not welcome and you’ll force her and her children out in 30 days.

[Asker]

She is telling me and has for almost 6 months that she’s going to do a CNA program. It’s a 6 week program. She got childcare lined up and the last time just didn’t go. Now she’s supposed to start November 6th. It seems like she’s going to do that again and just not go and is just buying time. I don’t have the time nor the gas to take her to do these things. I work 12hr days to struggle. She has a free bus pass given from the place she intends to go to school.

Do landlords take it out of the deposit or will I be charged separately? The paint on my cabinets in my guest bathroom and kitchen are peeling off. Granted I have lived here 4 years so some things are expected. I’ve had to scrub the walls in the guest bedroom because her kids draw on them.. she was just diagnosed as bipolar a few days ago so I get it because I too am bipolar but this is really fucking with my mental health. How are you home all day and can’t maintain an apartment…. She has until April… I guess I just needed somewhere to bitch.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I mean, if all you’re going to do is vent then fine, but also if she’s too depressed to follow through on a program she swears up and down she’s going to do, line up a back-up job for her in food service. They’re always hiring. Or try delivery spots like UPS or Fedex, they’re starting their holiday hiring now, they pay about as well as a CNA