My home life is a wreck and I don't know what to do?

[Anonymous]

my mom is a crazy narcissist who screams, yells, threatens to kill others and harm herself. she's emotionally and verbally abusive to my brother and i and my dad

my dad isdeathly afriad of my mom but willnever admit it. he is normally likeable and freidnly. when my mom screams andyells and threatens me, he just blindly agrees with her even when he doesn't know what's happening. my mom yells at him constantly and he just takes it. she gets mad and him and he apologizes continuously

my brother is in college and he is good. he has been through a lot as well thanks to my insane mother. he is the golden child. my mother often sneaks into his room and whispers to him that he must protect her, stay home from college to take care of her. my mom rants to my brother about how horrible andmanipulative i am, and says it's a "woman thing" that he will not understand. my brother says i am the scapegoat.

my dadgot a heart attack a month ago. she's been acting crazier, yelling at us even more, even saying she suffered more than my dad even tho he got a heart attack. i've been taking a lot of care of my dad plus i domost of the errands and chores - way more than my brother and mom. even though i do so much work, my brother gets praise for doing anything. i never get thank yous

i sacrificed so much for my dad and my brother and i try to convince him to talk to his freinds more because mom doesn't let him. we try to tell him about how bad my mom is and he acts so weird and doesn't like talking about it. today my brother and dad were by themselves going somewhre and my brother said my dad acts like i'm manipulative and evil. i know my mom thinksi'm manipulative and evil because she told that to my brother, but i didn't think my dad would believe it too

i feel betrayed. i have hated my mom for a while. now i think i should hate my dad too. i don't want to live here but have no other relatives in america. what do i do?

[lightbulb27]

You are under 18 so answer seems child protective services. That isn’t perfect.
Try to record some evidence in secret is what I’d do… then take it to school counselor for guidance.


Are they preparing to send you to college… getting away be good.


Your mom drinking? Maybe she’s just losing her mind or has brain tumor… sounds like something changed.

[Asker]

nobody in my family drinks, but she is naturally really paranoid and angry - yes i want to go to college they are crazy and are only letting me go to ivy league schools or else they will be really mad - i need a full scholarship so i can be financialy indepdent - i just dont think i can wait until college i'm not close to 18 yet

[lightbulb27]

How long been like this? Indian family or Thai? Hard to just

[Asker]

neither, my whole life, when i was little she used to lock my brother and i in a bathroom until we cried

[lightbulb27]

few other Q's.
Is she consistently like this, or is she nice or calm at times, then "goes off" when she's stressed or doesn't get what she wants? Or is she constantly using loud voice, anger, fear, threats to boss people around in the house?
Does she do the same outside the house, in the store.
Does she seem rational... or does she seem paranoid.

@midnightmoon05.- any ideas?

[midnightmoon05]

Talk to your father, come up with a plan. It’s up to him what he wants to do.
You can learn to live (put up) with her and ignore all that she says/does.
Ask your dad to help you get a job. Save up as much as you can.
Go study in the library. Study hard. Get a good grade.
You can use her negative to build your strength.
You will come out stronger in a few years.

[Asker]

she is sometimes normal and then she gets really angry and shouting multiple times a day, even for a few miuntes at a time, then back to nice and if you are not happy, she also gets mad at you for showing her attitudes. she acts different outside even uses a different voice. she is very paranoid and has even accused me of taking drugs (i'm a pretty good kid and have never thought of drugs and she had literally no reason for thinking so)

[Asker]

@midnightmoon05 thank you for the advice. my dad always shuts us off or tries to leave when my brother and i bring up things my mom says. he has sometimes now started to open up a little bit about weird things that have happened or he agrees she is a little crazy. mostly he just doesn't say anything bad about her ever. my mom is not letting me get a job and i don't have a license. i am a good student though so i'm hoping to get a full scholarship to college so i can be more financially indepedent because my mom wants to pay for my college but i don't want her too

[Guy13]

What would your mother do if you left and lived with friends or relatives? Do you have friendships that are very close. In my area, churches are involved in their congregation well-being. Do you have any such resources ⁉️

[Asker]

she would go super crazy and might even murder my dad. i have really close freindships and they know the situation but not about my dad's betrayal. i am not christian nor are there any chruches close to where i live. my mom doesn't let us go to our relgious site. unfortunately i dont have any resources but my brother said when he goes back to college he will see the priest

[Guy13]

Pray to God.

[Asker]

yes i have been praying to God. He has already saved my dad's life once and i am praying He will protect us again. thank you for your faith <3

[dustybiker]

Maybe talk to a school social worker/councilor. You need to start planning your future and think of happier places to be. At the very least everyone deserves to feel safe in their own home.

[Asker]

thnak you for the advice - my brother talked to his priest at college and they said to distance ourselves as much as we can until we can get away which is what i plan to do until/unless things get out of hand

[dustybiker]

Thank goodness for your brother. I’m glad you have him.

[Asker]

thank you for your compassion, i'm also glad, wish he wasn't in college

[Anonymous]

If you’re desperate enough because the situation is so bad you will find a way out whether that’s cps, school, a friend, calling the cops or running away.

[Asker]

i have considered talking to my counselor at school but i'm afraid he will call cps

[Opinion Owner]

You can’t be afraid when you haven’t done anything wrong. You’re trying to make sure your family is okay

[Asker]

thank you but i don't want cps to come because what if they take her to jail or if they dont she will get very mad at me and maybe even k! ll me

[dustybiker]

CPS exists to help protect children. As long as they know all the details. Don’t tell them your fears they can’t protect you properly.

[Opinion Owner]

@dustybiker exactly

[Avicenna]

Can you go live with other relatives?

[Asker]

no i can't they live very very far plus they are crazy too

[Avicenna]

ugh...

[Asker]

do you know what else i can do? please i'm going insane

[maximumpower]

Leave as soon as you can.

[Anonymous]

Call child protective service on her.

[Asker]

but if they come here she will play victim and when they leave she will kill us

[Opinion Owner]

Record evidence first and then call.

[Asker]

i recorded a little clip of a recent fight where she told me that "when we get home i'll slap you so hard on the face it will leave harsh bruises" - that's a translation however i don't know if that's extreme enough for CPS and she's said much worse so should i wait for betterevidence?

[Opinion Owner]

Do you have bruises on your body? Take a picture of it and show it.

[Asker]

no she is not physcially abusive to me, only sometimes shoves my dad

[landingout2]

how do I know if this is fake or real?

[Asker]

i guess you won't know but unfortunately this is real for me