My life is a mess?

[Anonymous]

I (23M) guess I'm making this question because I don't have any else to reach out to with this kind of stuff. I would appreciate a few words of encouragement but feel free to give your two cents down below 🤷‍♂️.

I want to start this off by saying that I feel like my life is kinda a mess right now. I don't have a job, any sort of education aside from my high school diploma, live at home, and don't have a car. I also don't have very much driving experience so even if I did have one, I would be in need of a lot of practice (?). I don't have as many friends as I used to have because I decided that I was going get very serious about my faith and that caused me to lose a lot of my friends.

Right now, I've been talking to the girl for about 6 months and we've been long distance.. she really liked me in the beginning because of how close I was in our faith and I was teaching her things and we were drawing closer together but as time when on, I started to lessen my zeal in the faith because she was distracting me (I hate to admit that, it isn't her fault tho). She also has been having a hard time of deciding if she really loves me or wants to be with me because she's still having issues getting over her abusive EX. I'm set to move closer to where she lives (I'm in NJ and I'll be moving to where she is in CA) so that we can live a happier life together but I think she might just want to be friends. I can afford to move closer to her because although I don't work, I am in a decent financial position (have tens of thousands stored away but have been spending a lot of it on my new girlfriend 🙂) I just don't know what I'm doing. The passion in this relationship is kinda gone.

My doctor told me that he's seeing an increase in my cholesterol and I don't want that but I still find myself eating out. I haven't been working out and taking care of myself the best either. (I'm not in bad shape tho).

Don't know what I'm doing. Feel free to ask questions below and give your 2 cents

[Christsdisciple15]

You seem pretty well adjusted even if you don’t realise it. We’re pretty much in the same boat only I’m a little younger. I don’t drive but it’s not a huge deal (I live in a heavy public transport city) so I’ll do that when I’m ready. I don’t have a job but I’m going to be looking for one soon, I’m sure you could find a small part time one even with just a high school diploma, like in retail or hospitality if you’re okay with those?

In terms of your dating situation in my opinion you shouldn’t move if you guys feel the relationship is shaky. I think moving across the country is a big decision to make and you have to factor everything in.

I eat out a lot too, but it helps when I cook a big meal once or twice a week and store it away to eat later in the week (or freeze for the future etc.) make sure to get things you truly enjoy and things that are quick to prepare when you grocery shop, it’ll help to eat out less. I also don’t work out either but I’m getting round to it slow and surely by doing home exercises even if it’s just a few minutes a day. Or I also have some small dumbbells so you could try that too.

My situation isn’t vastly different from yours but I still feel like you’re doing way better than you think. I’m really harsh on myself and wish I could encourage myself the way I want to encourage you right now lol.
I don’t know what faith you follow, but if you’re Christian like me or even if you’re not just try to remember that God can use anyone regardless of qualification or financial situation, and even though it’s hard you have to trust him and not go by what you see or even how you feel.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (‭‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41‬‬:‭10‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

[Asker]

Thank you for sharing a bit of your situation with me. I’ll solace in knowing that I’m not going through this alone. I am also a follower of Christ. I live in a metropolitan area as well so there isn’t that much demand to start driving soon, but it does pull on me a bit when I see others my age being able to do so. I’m unemployed but also haven’t been looking, many positions have been asking that people get vaccinated and I refuse to do so (I was instructed by the Lord to not do so and I want to be mindful of what I allow to enter the temple of the Holy Spirit). Before that I worked as pharm tech for a year and a half but I left because I was in the financial position to do so and because I wanted to pursue the call that is upon my life. I agree with you, you need to have all your ducks in a row before taking a leap like that unless the Lord is guiding you by faith. I’ll be doing what I can to eat healthier all around, it’s just a little tricky cooking right now for me. I have some workout equipment at home and have been doing some working out but not a lot, just here and there but I want to get back into my daily full body workouts.

I will continue to trust in the Lord and He will surely deliver me from all of my obstacles. I thank Him for using you to encourage me. I have no doubt that He has used you to touch other people's lives on this website as well and I pray that He continues use you to bring glory to His name. I also pray that He would watch over you, guide you, and direct your path. In Jesus name, amen!

[Christsdisciple15]

❤️❤️❤️

[DextroShade]

Bro you need to invest your money in something that will get you a return instead of simping it away, especially because you seem to have no way to replenish it. Once your money runs out these girls are gone and you will likely join the California homeless population. Focus on bettering yourself instead of trying to chase girls with no job and a dwindling savings.

[Asker]

You're right. I do need to chill on doing things for them. You're right on the money my friend, I don't have a way of replacing those lost thousands. Once the money is gone, the girls are gone. Thank you for sharing these powerful words with me. I wasn't planning on being there for far too long. I was thinking maybe 6 months but I know that my finances are going to be really good. I would be lying if I said that I don't do anything for money, I do trading and that's in-part how I was able to acquire the amount of money that I have. But once again, thanks for sharing your thoughts bro, much appreciated :).

[gorydetails]

Bro, you have to chill on this girl. You have to get your career settled first. You don't have any money and can't drive anywhere. Why would you uproot your life to CA for someone you think wants to be friends? And you're giving her thousands? Sounds like you're being catfished.

[Asker]

That makes a lot of sense. I agree with you for the most part but I know that everything is going to be okay with me regarding money. I want to start attending school once I get over there tho. Enrolling in a community college. It does sound pretty ridiculous right? Changing your whole life for someone that you're not even sure likes you? I know.. I feel bad about it too. I try to talk to her about the whole situation and she always flips it on me somehow. I hope to have a conversation about it with her in the not too distant future (obviously before the move).

[gorydetails]

It's completely ridiculous. You're being scammed.

[Asker]

It wouldn't be too far off to say that I'm being scammed.. in the beginning everything between was amazing and wonderful but I've noticed now that she tells me that she loves me but I can't see it or feel it anymore. She only calls me "baby" whenever she wants for me to buy her something and she doesn't seem to care about my feelings. I text her this morning and told her that I was having a rough go at life and she just told me to do what I gotta do. She isn't comforting at all. She hasn't been acting like a traditional woman but she wants me to be a traditional man. It's pretty sad tbh. My feelings don't seem to matter. It sucks because so many women would be lucky to have me and I had so many options and I had to cut them off to be with her and now she doesn't treat me good. I guess that's life?

[gorydetails]

How much money have you given her in total?

[Asker]

I have no idea. If I had to ballpark it.. maybe 4-5k and it wasn't just handed over. I also don't want you to get the wrong idea like I'm just chatting with some cam girl and sending her money. This is a person that I care a great deal about and I wanted to make her life better in any way that I could but she just overtime started treating me really bad, things did start off good.

[gorydetails]

lmao. Riiiiiiiiiiiggghhhttt.

[Asker]

lol, I know. It sounds like a terrible situation but unfortunately this is my life. I want to see if I can fix things and see if things can change around. I'm going to be having a talk with her sometime this week and hopefully we can get to the bottom of everything.

[gorydetails]

Lol, continue your stupid plan. Good luck.