Is it easy for you to ask people for favors and build connections like that?

[Lynx122]

This is super hard for me. First of all I'm pretty content and happy with what I have and I'm just used to being fine on my own. And I don't know it's just hard for me to know what would make the moment even better than it is. Sometimes people do things of their own accord and it makes me happy like they explain things or do something nice or whatever but I can't make that happen. My girlfriend is trying to help me with this. I think it has something to do with my dad being bad parent unreliable, didn't understand me, wasn't in my corner and was judgmental. He never taught me much about being a man or an adult in general so I'm missing some things today. I figured out a lot on my own but now I got to this point where this problem is the next thing I'm gonna work on. Hopefully I can make more friends.

[DishLady]

Culturally there are many people who will not ask for help. It's not the tradition of where they came for and so asking is considered a sign of weakness... However today we have popularized the "no man is an island" and "it takes a village to raise a child" maxims that promote sharing of problems.

Marriage and relationships themselves imply a sharing of thoughts and burdens... And in ancient times, the concept of friendship -- even platonic -- were supposed to be about an equal portion of Give and Take... so then WHY not ask for help?

Stubborn (which can also be... macho... "feminist" in it's incorrect form (sorry, girls)... and several other similar versions of stubbornness)

Shy Disposition (of the person asking).

Egocentric Disposition (the person believes they can function without anyone else.)

Uncertain how a request would be received.

Ignorant of precisely what or whom to ask for assistance.

There are a few more reasons a person wouldn't ask for help, but in my experience, refraining from asking when you know something is a two-person job... or that you simply know you don't have the bandwidth to do on your own... is a mistake.

[LaurenM1997]

I’m so sorry you didn’t have a father figure I know what it’s like mine don’t really wanna know me only when he wants something

[Lynx122]

I'm sorry to hear that as well. I hope you tell him to take a hike :)
Hugs

[LaurenM1997]

Thanks I’ll give you a hug back 🥰

[NathanDavis]

I don't have a problem at all, asking for a favor, but... I grew up in a great community and family, in which people grow close and are helpful and trusting with each other

also, I don't do this that much either... only when I absolutely see it necessary

and, I do live at a very very busy border too, so... connections are the way of living around here, and if you don't have them you will hardly get anywhere good or whole... lmfao

[DrPepper12]

I never learned how to ask for help and it's caused a lot of problems in my life. You HAFTA engage and make yourself vulnerable is what I've learned. Then, you have to SUSTAIN those relationships. It's HARD work but I'm trying.

[Lynx122]

It is hard af. I'm lucky that I have a lot of people to talk to so at least that is covered and I have a girlfriend who loves me very much and is helping me but irl friendships are still hard. Like I don't know the start is the hardest I'm too much I'm doing my thing and you do your thing it's hard to stop it people can feel it and they just pull back. But I'll try and work on it.

[DrPepper12]

It's tuff. I do great at intros n beginning but then just let it whither and atrophy. Truths is intimacy can be terrifying sometimes

[Lynx122]

Honestly I'm prett good at talking to women like I don't know I just feel at ease the women I've opened up to haven't used my weaknesses against me. But with men I've had a lot of tough experiences not just my dad but also in high school so it's harder for me. I'm just bad at making friends with guys I can get along well and have a good time when someone is around where I am but not more than that.

[DrPepper12]

Same. Dudes give me ANXIETY!! But my father was a child rapist so I'm why I'm fucked up

[Lynx122]

Omg I'm sorry that must be terrible. You're doing great just keep trying :)

[DrPepper12]

thanks! U2!

[Billlewis]

I do the opposite, and ask women if there's anything I can do for them.

[LadyKitty]

Nope. I am too stubborn to ask for help or favors unless I desperately need it.

[7Phoenix7]

I'm working on that as well.

[elizamichale1]

Well thanks to my tits... they do tht job for me