I don't believe real friendship. I think there is no such thing as true friends. Could you convince me?
There is no such thing as true friends. Do you agree or not?
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This might actually be the saddest GAG question I have ever seen. And I've seen some pretty goddamn sad questions.
I don't even know where to begin to try to explain. I can't even imagine how aweful it must be to actually believe that. (I really hope you don't really believe that).
True friends exist. I have had that proven to me time after time after time. I would have been dead a long time ago (many times over) had it not been for true friends.
This is sad because it's so alien. True friends have existed for as long as there have been people. Everywhere. It's a universal human experience. Part of living in a society.
I don't know how to 'convince' you. So you're going to have to take my word for it (or don't). True friends absolutely exist. I am 100%% positive. I've tested that. Many times many ways.
The only other question that I can compare this one to; is one some guy asked a little while ago. Someone asked something like: "Do people really form close relationships and actually care about animals like dogs and cats? Or do you think people fake it?"
You see your reaction to that? How you don't even understand where that other person is possibly 'coming from'. It seems...'alien'. From a perspective that 'doesn't compute".
Can you imagine someone genuinely wondering if everyone just fakes the love they show their pets (because... the idea of loving a pet doesn't compute for that guy)?
HOw would you begin explaining... that he was missing something everyone else could experience. It was an alien concept to him.
If you truly believe this, and friendship is just as alien a concept for you... I am equally at a loss where to begin.You are definitely wrong. And Life can be very different than it is now (even if actual circumstances don't change)
Not only do true friends exist. They are one of the major things that make being human... worth the experience.
You're living your life like watching a movie through a straw. You're missing most of it. It's SO MUCH BETTER than it appears to you.🙂
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It's hard to say. I suppose it's "faith" and attitude and behavior that can shape a viewpoint.
I have had some pretty crappy friendships... for a very long time. And it took up to about five years ago to start getting some real decent friendships. I put up with a lot of crap behavior from crap people. So it makes me a bit antsy if I start seeing those minor issues more and more in a friendship.
I have two friends who are married (to each other). Recently, except for church maybe once or twice a month, it feels like I'm being pushed back out of the loop a little. Like if it wasn't me making an effort, I just wonder how much I'd see the kids, or if the husband would really bother to keep the friendship going.
Hey, someone has a surgery, or a big promotion - I want to know how it went. But I've had a lot going on recently. A lot of big changes. No one from that church group has reached out, as "close" as we're supposed to be. I've had big promises made, and was hoping those would stick... and then they don't. It just feels like a let down because it seemed like things were going to be different. Does it feel like real friendship? Not always. It's friendship... it's just most friendships have "a season." You know someone for five years, super close, then both move away, get married, etc, and you're on "Christmas card lists" and maybe a "Happy birthday!" But I can try to not let it get to me, and not take it personal, and just keep trying to be there when they show they can do the same.
I have another friend I think of as a brother. No starting to have to wait days to get a brief answer in text. None of that "what do you want NOW" kind of attitude if I try to call every few weeks.
I called him last minute for an emergency (small inconvenience), and he was there in an hour, when no one else bothered (in spite of promises made months in advance), though I gave everyone warning, he's the only one who actually showed... I've been to the funerals, he's been to a few of my family's. He's hauled his car hundreds of miles sometimes (and so have I). I've told him recently he was as good as some real family, and there's little distinction. And yes, there have been let downs. Often happens when you know someone for 15 years. I've probably done it to him, though I can't think of any... But I can't let those lapses ruin things. He doesn't process things like most people. So him not showing up to an important event was him working last minute and maybe forgetting to let me know, or not wanting to disappoint me, or... who knows. It wasn't meant as a personal attack, and I can't really get angry because he doesn't always react the way many would, and it's "an exception to the rule." I would think it's safe to say he's "true blue." He's shown himself to be someone trustworthy. Someone who doesn't drop others for a new girlfriend, or because it's inconvenient. I'd say he's a true friend.
True friends can be rare. Maybe that's the point. It's a special thing. Depending on opinion and maybe attitude, many may not last long, just due to "life getting in the way." Were they true, even if it only lasted two years before... stuff happens? Maybe. From my point of view, the real ones are friendships that are 20 years long and they've been there like you have for them. But yes, they can happen; I think it happens more if you're a "true friend" yourself. But that doesn't make everything easy; I just think it makes it EASIER.
true friendships used to happen during the old days such as the 1990s and prior. Friendships used to last decades. Nowadays, the maximum length of a friendship is 5 years or less.
The reason is because we live in a disposable society where there are plenty of options and its easy to meet people. You can find dates on dating apps. 25 years ago, you had to work up a lot of courage to walk up to someone, show your best side, impress them, before you ask them out. This explains why there are so many flakey people, people standing each other up.
When there are too many options when it comes to friends, it becomes a disposable society. For example nowadays, you can easily just go on bumble bff or facebook group where you can find strangers to hangout with. You meet up with them for a while then once you no longer find them fun anymore, you immediately dump them for a newer , more exciting friend.
Today people are more self absorbed than ever before. Back then in the old days, people cared about their community. People talked about their day, hangout with their neighbors and always talked to each other about their lives. If you needed a band aid, your neighbor was always ready to lend you one. Nowadays, people barely talk to each other anymore. They just go on their phones and pretend not to see each other. Even if they do see each other, their small talk is about meaningless shit about the weather.
I'm 27 and I find that its only the older population that knows how to talk to people. Younger people are very cliquey , antisocial cell phone addicts.
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True friendships definitely exist! I have quite a few of them. I know that if one of my friends needed me then I would do just about anything in my power to help them. That's not to say that real friendships can't have boundaries or end up not lasting forever, but many relationships can stay strong even when you start to grow in diffrent directions. I suppose there's nothing I can really say that can convince you of this because it's something you just have to experience to fully understand.
If all of your relationships feel more like transactions than genuine love, then there are a few thoughts that first come to my mind (obviously this is just my thoughts, and then could be way off base, but these are my first instincts)
1) you've been incredibly unlucky in your friendships and have yet to meet anyone who's personality truly clicks with yours.
2) you have some sort of fear, past trauma, or defense mechanisms that stop you from opening up and letting that kind of bond form.
3) you have some sort of anti social personality disorder, such as psychopathyz narcissism. or sociopathy. There are a lot of negative connotations associated with these disorders but thay are far more common then you'd think. You can have one of them and lead a fairly normal life; there are quite a few people who don't realize that they have them, besides maybe feeling that they're a bit diffrent from their peers.
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I'd have to know your definition of true friends to fully answer. But I will tell you this: I've had several fake friends in my life, but I've also had several who are additional siblings. I have 2 friends I've known since I was 7, and I still lift weights, hunt, and do other shit with the guy friend to this day. I literally just texted him about working out 😂 The girl used to be my bestfriend, and I was in love with her, but we still are friends and talk now. I played basketball with her little brother and her fiance 2 weeks ago! Another guy I've known since I was 8 is like an older brother to me (which is cool since I am the eldest of my siblings). He just gave me advice about girls, and I just golfed with him the other day and saw his daughter (she's almost a year and a half old!). I even have a friend who I've known since I was 15 and disliked at first, but she's a good friend now that she doesn't have a crush on me haha And there's also a guy who was like a brother, went to jail for drugs, married a 30 year old drug addict when he was 17, and is now in rehab and my friend again. I'm not sure if that counts as what you call a true friend, but me and these people are bound for life. I might not always agree with them, and I might have to distance myself from them at times, but I don't think they'll ever not be my friends. Maybe you just need to work on making better connections with others or work on bettering yourself.
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I think true friendships do exist. And friendships generation after generation after generation have also existed. I think it is fate. My grandparents and my uncle's grandparents, and my father and my uncle and me and his sons are friends. And through thick and thin both have tried to help each other out 🙂.
And fyi, if you think friendships between married husband's and someone's wives don't exist then that's also not true. I actually heard of my father's friend from him. She married his senior officer and she used to visit him often with her husband beside her. My mother never felt threatened. They only stopped when she had to move away to another city. It wasn't love, just the longing of a long lost friend to see each other. So, I think it is not always sexual or swinger. Both never cheated on their respective spouses. They just made friends with them all.
I have a few female friends. And I always always wish my future wife will not doubt my loyalty. I won't hide it from her and she can always talk to each other as friends too.
P. S: I am not American, I am from Pakistan. -
True friendship is not a hoax. Few years ago my grandma went to her nephew’s son wedding, there she met her best friend which always be with her since a little kid, but because they were married and she must live in different city they separate and barely call each other ( at that time its expensive and kinda uncommon to call someone) . They did exchange letters which is really sweet, but being house wife and soaked in family thing makes them difficult to contactinh each other. When she met her again by chance at the wedding, both crying, hugging each other so beautifully. So yes some lucky people have it.
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I dont agree believe because I have true friends. I guess you don't believe that because you have been betrayed many times over years. I almost lost belief in true friendship after being betrayed too but I remember people who were concerned about me, that's when I realised that true friendship exists! I dont think I can convince you because your mind is preoccupied with the fact that true friendship doesn't exist. You won't believe any of my reasoning and will speak against me for my points. I can't convince someone who is already preoccupied with other thought that too for many years.
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I respect your opinion but I disagree. I won't try to convince you other than to say, first, to read all these responses. Some might be trolls, but with 97 responses and most of them disagreeing with you, that ought to tell you something. Second, I have true friends. How do I define that? They don't judge; they accept my flaws but also help me try to be better; they help me with no questions asked regardless of distance, time of day, or amount of money; they work through disagreements and arguments rather than ghosting and giving up.
So, yes, there are true friends. It takes work and time to cultivate that.
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You had bad experiences with friendships where either someone betrayed or weren't there for you? True friendship maybe hard to come across these days with everyone being busy and doing their own thing, but it's still out there. I only have one best friend after high-school, we may not talk as much cause we are busy working and have families, but when we do catch up it seems like we just spoke to one another like it was yesterday. Don't let bad experiences or people ruin your view in friendship. I'm very loyal type of friend, the only way someone can loose me is if they don't want my friendship anymore.
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I'm sorry people have let you down. Maybe they are not "your people " . That's not your fault. We are all different for a reason. Try volunteering. Maybe your local library, animal shelter, homeless shelter, food bank, etc.. lots of idea's to think about. True friendship DOES exist.. I rely on my friends before my "blood" family. I've met all of my friends at various places where I volunteer. I have a "soul sister." I pray some day you have the privilege of having a "soul sister ". Life is chapter's. Start a new chapter. You need to watch a Tyler Perry Movie called Madea. It will teach you all you need.🇨🇦✌️🙏
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I completely disagree! I have friends who would drop everything for me day or night, even if I called at 3am and just said that “I need you, they would absolutely come to me as soon as the time it took them to get there. And they know that have exactly the same type of friend in me!
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1. What you are thinking of when you say "true friendship" may be different than what I think about that concept. You need to define the term before I engage in any meaningful discussion.
2. If you believe you already know the answer to the question, why did you even bother to ask? Just so you can tell other people that they are wrong? No thanks!
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Yes I do because of my friend Thomas James Werdebaugh, we had been friends since kindgarten and he and I were inseperable for like more then 10 years and then he died on me in. 2016. But he was the true definitely definition of a best friend. Don't get me wrong he loved me and I loved him but we were from two totally different worlds and raised differencly as well. I just wish he was still here. He held my hand when I was having my babies he held my hand the whole time. And he rubbed out my charlie horses in my legs. Sometime it got bad but he was never to far away from me an neither me with him. I try to remember the things and the way he laughed would make the whole room start laughing he just had that about him! He loved me as much or maybe more then I loved him cause i never suspected that he would be as good as he was to me and I can't express how much I loved him myself. And it devastated me when he died.
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I think you only get one of those most people… two if you’re extremely lucky… but most of us only get one and usually they are gone from us when we feel like it’s too soon.. they usually are people who are here to guide us and before we need them too much, they’re out..
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The easiest way to find out who your true friends are is never over dress and don't buy a flashy vehicle. This way you know they want to be friends with you because of you and not what you have. Even one good friend is better than none at all. Be outgoing but not obnoxious. The most important thing is just be yourself.
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I do not have to believe in it... because I am actually living it, and been doing that for decades now
and no, I do not have to convince others... because my life is mine, and their lives is theirs
for them to have and to experience what I do, they would have to be me or part of mine, and well, you are not...
unfortunately, some people are fortunate and others are just not, that's sad... -
I would say that there are through friendships, a good example is my mother and her childhood friend, he went to japan and many other places around the world and he was rarely even in his home province, but they stayed connected talking checking up on ectother and now he is considered family.
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Many of my friends have been genuine honest-to-goodness companions of mine since we were li'l kids. Some may have physically "drifted away" because of relocation but have remained very much in touch and would make an effort to visit when so desired. I'd do the same for them. Some have remained very much like brothers & sisters of mine through fun & tough times.
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They're definitely is such thing as true friendship. I have a friend that I've known since Grade 4. We go months without seeing each other. And when we do it's like we have never been apart. She's always always had my back and I have had hers. We have never fought. I'd say she's a genuine true friend.
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[Well, I caution you to be careful on this one because there are true-friendships, just like true-love in loving/romantic-relationships. But, the truth is that they are rare, a dime-of-dozen, and it’s hard to know in the early stages. Time will reveal to you who is who. Remain open to the possibility, and cancel out quickly when the contrary seems obvious.]
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I think people can have good intentions when it comes to friendships but a lot of the time people who are dependent on others have some kind of emotional or mental health issue. And then that comes into play which ends the friendship. People aren’t looking to forgive as much in friendships as they are in romantic relationships.
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They do exist. I don't know if I can convince you, but I am convinced. My 'friends' haven't betrayed me or abandoned me. They always kept promises, secrets and let their actions speak for their words. They won't hesitate to go above and beyond when I am sad or in trouble.
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100% Agreed. Friends are an illusion. If you lose your job or would have an unfortunate financial strand and if you REALLY need some help in life, a so called ""friends"" will disappear faster than you can say cat in a hat.
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