When do you feel (if ever) it is okay to cut a relative out of your life?

[Anonymous]

[Rosexøxø]

When they’re so badly damaged, they won’t and can’t use any of my intervention and concerning efforts to help them heal, and when I realize they need their space to go a bit “off leash” to find themselves and heal on their own as a learning experience.

If they’re like that kind of hurt, and toxic/ destructive in nature towards me, I would not make that a constant. I would break things off.

I also felt breaking things off was more relevant in my 17-19 phase.

Now I’m at an age where I don’t necessarily feel bothered or influenced by them. It’s not even just a feeling but a firm confidence and rationale.

I am only putting up with my family because I help them if they need some assistance or financial favors, and I offer any helpful tips whenever, because that is in my nature.

As time allows more opportunities to me and I am occupied with time, I will naturally let distance form between us.

I’ll always come back to give a warm embrace or kind wish to them because no matter where we are, and how far we all go, they will always be my family.

When I felt weak, is when I wanted to get away and believed I didn’t have to put up with it.

Now I just don’t put up with it 😂

[anon171999]

This applies to adults, not children or teenagers.

I cut them off the moment they disrespect me or show me they don't love me. Or if they are abusive to other people in their lives. I've now cut off my grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents, and 2/4 siblings.

Doing so has improved my life more than any other decision I've made. I've healed and grown so much by not having them in my life.

[Asker]

That sounds like such a healthy approach. I know people who just keep these toxic people around and they end up being miserable year after year and for what? Good on you.

[anon171999]

Exactly. You either evolve or devolve in life. You don't get to just stay complacent. Toxic people quite literally devolve you if you keep them in your life. You can't be happy and enjoy life if toxic people are a part of your life.

[TheVigilantFox]

When they’re abusive.


For over 30 years I had to have my abusive violent father living with me and my Nan, when my Nan passed away I was left with him for just over a year, he then got sick (kidney failure) he ended up in hospital where he later died the only reason he died in hospital was because I wouldn’t let him come back to my house, he nearly killed me I tried to take my own life because of him he made my mum and Nan both depressed and they passed and I will never forgive him because he killed them with how he was, as awful as it sounds to someone who doesn’t understand what we all went through I’m glad he’s dead as now he can’t hurt me anymore.

[Unusualq26]

When the relative is a negative in your life. I have had family that pretty much wasn't involved in my childhood but still expect stuff when I got successful or wanted to demand my respect. If your basically a stranger but we technically shair blood I dont. feel bad to cut u off

[Asker]

Would you ever mend a fence with any of those people if they came to you wanting to make amends or it's too late?

[Unusualq26]

If I felt ot was genuine sure but I would expect a friendship type of relationship. We should enjoy each other company and be kind. If that's not there whats the point

[Saramad_Hill]

It's usually a gradual process, but I cut my brother out for stealing from me (multiple times, drug abuse.)

Mom cut the uncle out for sexually assaulting brother when he was younger.

There are many, many other cases where cutting family out is necessary for growth and a happier life. It only makes things a little more complicated than, say, cutting off an ex.

[Razp_Sorbet]

If they are impacting your life negatively then you have every right to not have them in your life.

My boyfriend has stopped talking to his mum, since August.

[abc3643]

Sure. Absolutely. My sister and I have. I don't know about her, but I am absolutely giddy that her Trumpster ass and her Proud Boy husband is not in my life now.

[SexyRedd1966]

If being around them causes you stress.. love them from a distance... you have to protect your mental health

[SphynxUK]

It depends on the situation.
I have cut several out.

[Asker]

If someone were toxic, what would make you decide to keep them around if it's dependent on the situation?

[SphynxUK]

If they don’t bring anything good to your life, don’t love you, don’t care about you, and do things to cause you harm, mentally and physically, let them go. Some people do have illness that make them
a certain way, but some people are just bad. We need to stop making excuses for these types.

[LiamJHayden]

I never had an issue with family, but any behavior that you would deem unacceptable should suffice.

[Anonymous]

Example:
They don’t watch their own grandchild and if they do watch them, they are drinking and partying at that time. They still can’t settle down.

[dustybiker]

When they start to damage you.

[whereismyjohnny]

If they are toxic.

[Iron_Man]

No never

[Pterodon]

When they’re toxic